While on travel, I met someone; nothing happened, .but I can not stop comparing her to my wife

[Anonymous]

It's a fantasy. That new feeling is intoxicating. Kind of like driving a new car instead of your old beast.

[Anonymous]

Focus on what you've contributed to your wife feeling like she needs to rip into you. I love reading about all these wives who tell and withold sex...I'm sure the husbands are just perfect specimens.

[Anonymous]

She is a bunny boiler, OP. Block her. She will contact your wife.

[Anonymous]

It does sound like she has no respect for your marital boundary and would think nothing of jumping in the sack with a married man -- or tracking him down and learning more about him. I would get in touch with her to let her know only that you had a good time, but then remind her that you are married and this will be the last you hear from me.

The fact that she is also from DC means she could track you down in person as well, which is kind of crazy.

Or, maybe she's just a horny 40something who needs to get some ...

But what others have said -- something is clearly missing in your marriage. Work on that and you will be much better off

[Anonymous]

It's not a fair comparison between this woman and your wife. You just met this woman, so it's new and exciting, and you seem to be focusing only on the cool things about her (she likes baseball, she is interested in you, etc.). There are enormous, waving red flags that you seem to be ignoring -- that she disrespected you by kissing you after you turned her down (that seems like a very bad sign - can't take no as an answer), and that she has tracked you down on Facebook and sent you messages despite you begging off (another bad sign of controlling and disrespectful behavior). You seem to be focusing on this behavior as flattery - she must REALLY like and want you. While that may be true, it is completely overwhelmed and offset by the fact that she seems like someone who doesn't respect boundaries, is controlling, and manipulative. Mentally sane women don't proposition married men, then kiss them when they say no, then hunt them down on Facebook afterwards. Focus on that being odd behavior, and realize that you are doing what many do in the beginning of relationships by focusing on the great stuff and ignoring the bad.

I assume you had a spark with your wife once too, and felt that she liked you. You sound like your marriage is in a rut, and people get comfortable. I suggest you think about what drew you to each other and work on the relationship. This could actually be a good wake up call to make you both happier. But it is impossible to compare her with the shiny new person who seems so into you, someone who you have not had to slog it out for years in marriage.

[Anonymous]

It is an addictive feeling, especially when it's been a long time since you've felt it. From experience I can share that it does and will subside. For sure. And you will be left without that feeling and with the remaining consequences. Use it as a way to better identify and work on what's missing in your own marriage. Take a trip together alone without kids and just have carefree fun (and "relations").

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore her message and block her. Remember that the grass is greener where you water it. Reality is, while she may be fun in the beginning, long term she's going to have her flaws. If she's going after a married man she just met you can bet she's pretty unstable and will end up yelling and withholding sex more than your wife does.

Block her and spend some time working on your marriage.

This. This. This.

You already know it but say it out loud to yourself, OP: This woman seems desirable because you do not actually KNOW her. She's all covered in a nice haze of "she likes baseball too and she doesn't nag me and she's so easy....."

Then sit down and think hard about why you married your wife. There must still be good reasons there. So many people toss away marriages because "she/he complains to me about X and Y" and of course the affair partner doesn't do that--because the AP is not going to be there during mundane, everyday life with its many niggling things to slog through, bills to pay, kids to raise. The spouse IS there for all that. That's part of the deal of marriage (or any long-term commitment). The AP is fantasy, the spouse is reality. You can work on making your reality better or you can trash it and start an affair. Take the energy you would expend on this oh so readily available woman and put it back into working on your marriage. This was your red flag that your marriage is in trouble; pay attention now. Start by reminding yourself of every good thing about your wife and your life with her that you can list. If the list seems short, ask what happened, and focus on how to tell her you want both of you to be happier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
But, I get back home, and my wife starts ripping into me about something trivial that she had to do while I was away; this (the nagging and yelling) is not an uncommon thing. And we have not had relations in quite a while. I keep thinking how nice it would be to spend time with someone who is nice to me.

You took a personal trip while your wife held down the fort at home. I would say that is nice to you. Where's your appreciation for that?

She's probably tired from doing it all while you are gone.

When you're on the trip talking to the mysterious woman neither of you had your normal household responsibilities to do so of course everything is going to feel better on vacation.

[Anonymous]

Baseball chick is drama llama.

And what do you know about drama llama?

Drama llama loves drama.

I can't in a million years imagine FOLLOWING UP on a random married guy I met at a baseball game.

It's not star-crossed lovers. Like others said, it's boiling bunnies.

[Anonymous]

Oh, stop, people who are calling her a psycho! OP wasn't exactly discouraging toward her. "I begged off, saying 1) I probably would do something I would regret, and 2) I had an early flight the next morning." He could (should) have just said, no thanks, I'm married. Instead his response, followed by responding to her kiss, probably led her to believe he has some interest.

I agree with everyone above that you should block her, OP.

[Anonymous]

I don't think she's crazy. There's nothing wrong for a single woman to go see a game by herself.

She got attracted by you, maybe it was love at first sight and that despite the fact you are married she decided to contact you. It's only human to do so when you have feelings.

Your wife doesn't sound nice and it looks like love is gone (no more sex from what you say).

So ... One life to live. Live it, you won't have any regrets.

Good luck

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't think she's crazy. There's nothing wrong for a single woman to go see a game by herself.

She got attracted by you, maybe it was love at first sight and that despite the fact you are married she decided to contact you. It's only human to do so when you have feelings.

Your wife doesn't sound nice and it looks like love is gone (no more sex from what you say).

So ... One life to live. Live it, you won't have any regrets.

Good luck

Um, it's not human to do so. Let's not just dismiss this into some kind of biological necessity to facebook friend every person you're attracted to.

[Anonymous]

pound her throughout a long weekend then never talk to her again.

[Anonymous]

OP this woman is a stalker. don't get involved with her. This goes beyond your problems with marriage and why it is not ok to cheat. Even if you feel you must cheat at least do not do it with this woman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:pound her throughout a long weekend then never talk to her again.

Easier said than done. This woman is crazy.