DH doesn't give me space when we argue

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is very sad OP. Definite counseling for you guys. I think my DH and I have only had one fight that escalated to this level which resulted from how I load the dishwasher improperly. It ended with laughter and sex.

We've only had 2 that escalated to this level but the last one really scared me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That's a lot of arguing. Have you tried counseling yet?

We've tried it but not seriouslly, have an appointment this week with a new counselor

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And BTW, you pushing him is assault. He doesn't have a victim syndrome. YOU actually assaulted him twice!

And him blocking me from leaving the room is kidnapping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is very sad OP. Definite counseling for you guys. I think my DH and I have only had one fight that escalated to this level which resulted from how I load the dishwasher improperly. It ended with laughter and sex.

We've only had 2 that escalated to this level but the last one really scared me

I find it so sad that it scared you but NOT because of how you acted. You acted like a pscyho and you are too blind to see you have major issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And BTW, you pushing him is assault. He doesn't have a victim syndrome. YOU actually assaulted him twice!

And him blocking me from leaving the room is kidnapping?

Just divorce. You are clearly going to be stuck on this "I'm right. I'm perfect" attitude. Don't waste money on counseling. And DONT ever have kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem like you get mad at the drop of a hat and dh has no idea why or what youre mad about. You can't control your anger so instead you twke it out on him. So unhealthy. You need both couples and individual counseling.

First sentence not true, and no i don't take it out on him which is why i ask him to give me space to process and talk about it later. Agree on the counseling

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You two need counseling.

This sounds flippant, but it was sincere.

You need to learn to communicate when you're upset (even if it's a simple "I need time to process this"), and he needs to learn to respect your boundaries and your need for space.

Counseling will help.

I agree. Thank you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You sound like a nightmare.

And yes, you do sound like an abuser. Part of the abuser mentality is to make the victim feel like they are just "playing" the victim and that everything is their fault. You have serious issues.

Blocking someone's exit is abusive.

[Anonymous]

Both you and your DH have major issues. Neither of you is right or better. You both are seriously messed up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Both you and your DH have major issues. Neither of you is right or better. You both are seriously messed up.

Op here: I recognize my issues, i-e i need to learn to communicate when im angry instead of shutying down. But i am not okay with my DH not allowing me time to cool down, which escalates the fight and him chasing me around the house from room to room wheh. Im trying to get away

[Anonymous]

Do you even want to stay married to him? This sounds like such an unhealthy relationship on both sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you even want to stay married to him? This sounds like such an unhealthy relationship on both sides.

Tbh, i dont know because it is very stressful and unhealthy but im willing to try everything i can to fix it before calling it quit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you even want to stay married to him? This sounds like such an unhealthy relationship on both sides.

Tbh, i dont know because it is very stressful and unhealthy but im willing to try everything i can to fix it before calling it quit

There you go again, all the blame on him. I think you're a hopeless case and you'd both be better off to just cut ties now. You can find a submissive guy who cowers to you and he can find someone who communicates and doesn't lash out. Win win. Spend the money you would on counseling on divorce instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both you and your DH have major issues. Neither of you is right or better. You both are seriously messed up.

Op here: I recognize my issues, i-e i need to learn to communicate when im angry instead of shutying down. But i am not okay with my DH not allowing me time to cool down, which escalates the fight and him chasing me around the house from room to room wheh. Im trying to get away

I posted above re: communicating when you're upset and getting counseling.

We were exactly the same, but opposite. Meaning he would shut down and I felt abandoned when he did, so I would try everything I could to connect, only to push him away more. Obvi we never learned appropriate conflict resolution skills. A good counselor can help, but both parties have to be willing to forgive the bad behavior and put in the work to make changes. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you even want to stay married to him? This sounds like such an unhealthy relationship on both sides.

Tbh, i dont know because it is very stressful and unhealthy but im willing to try everything i can to fix it before calling it quit

There you go again, all the blame on him. I think you're a hopeless case and you'd both be better off to just cut ties now. You can find a submissive guy who cowers to you and he can find someone who communicates and doesn't lash out. Win win. Spend the money you would on counseling on divorce instead.

I have to agree. You don't seem very willing to compromise. You're just, "I need space and THAT'S IT." Without recognizing his need to talk a little. Your way or the highway...and then you get violent. He would be better off without you. And safer.