Do parents rationalize letting their kids act mediocre because it's so easy to raise average kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone "can" perform at a high level, regardless of effort put in.

Maybe some parents think it's a better idea to accept their kid for who they are rather than be constantly pushing them. That seems like a miserable life for both parent and child, to me, and I don't see why it would be worth it.

As long as the child is not completely falling apart and ruining their future, maybe good enough is good enough. Most people are in fact average, and maybe to some people that's not a bad thing.

Such bologna, high school is incredibly easy. If it doesn't come naturally to your children you have to teach them how to adapt. Of course it's far easier just to give up and rationalize that "not every kid can get As."

High school is NOT incredibly easy for everyone. I was nearly left back in 10th grade, nearly dropped out altogether, nearly killed myself, and had to do summer school for two summers in order to graduate. I got into a 2 year college where I had to take three classes FIRST before starting, to be up to their lowest level. I spent HOURS at the kitchen table with each of my parents struggling and crying while trying to understand.

Imagine the only language you speak is English. Now imagine walking into a classroom where all they speak is Mandarin and they're teaching an advanced class for doctorate level students in a subject you heard of once, ages ago. Now go get an A in that class. That's what many of my high school classes were like. I'd heard of some of the words, but couldn't retain the definitions of them or how they were connected to other words. That's WITH an IEP, Resource Room, etc.

[Anonymous]

Your incredibly smug and judgmental attitude will likely also be adopted by your kids, who may trouble holding jobs as a result. But maybe you're so successful you can afford for them to be "waiters." (Waiting for inheritance.) I know several smart kids with pushy parents who are "waiters."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize what average is mathematically, right? Bell curves and all that?

What does the bell curve have to do with high school grades?

Everyone can't get As.

I disagree with OP's premise entirely, but I also don't think this is accurate. My HS age students have definitely been in classes where the vast majority (far more than a bell curve model would allow) all got A's.

In my experience few if any HS classes are graded on a curve, and even my older kids' universities seem to be doing away with that concept. It's possible for the course to be taught well enough that most students get enough material correct on exams to earn a percentage grade in the A range, especially if it's a class with easily verifiable right or wrong answers where student X's performance can do nothing to impact the relative quality of student Y's work and whether or not student Y got all the answers correct.

Then the class is poorly designed and not rigorous. Everyone is mediocre at that point.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize what average is mathematically, right? Bell curves and all that?

What does the bell curve have to do with high school grades?

Everyone can't get As.

I disagree with OP's premise entirely, but I also don't think this is accurate. My HS age students have definitely been in classes where the vast majority (far more than a bell curve model would allow) all got A's.

In my experience few if any HS classes are graded on a curve, and even my older kids' universities seem to be doing away with that concept. It's possible for the course to be taught well enough that most students get enough material correct on exams to earn a percentage grade in the A range, especially if it's a class with easily verifiable right or wrong answers where student X's performance can do nothing to impact the relative quality of student Y's work and whether or not student Y got all the answers correct.

Then the class is poorly designed and not rigorous. Everyone is mediocre at that point.

I work in secondary education and 99% of high schools are this way.

[Anonymous]

D.C. is mediocre. End of story. You want exceptional then move a coastal city.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize what average is mathematically, right? Bell curves and all that?

What does the bell curve have to do with high school grades?

Everyone can't get As.

I disagree with OP's premise entirely, but I also don't think this is accurate. My HS age students have definitely been in classes where the vast majority (far more than a bell curve model would allow) all got A's.

In my experience few if any HS classes are graded on a curve, and even my older kids' universities seem to be doing away with that concept. It's possible for the course to be taught well enough that most students get enough material correct on exams to earn a percentage grade in the A range, especially if it's a class with easily verifiable right or wrong answers where student X's performance can do nothing to impact the relative quality of student Y's work and whether or not student Y got all the answers correct.

Then the class is poorly designed and not rigorous. Everyone is mediocre at that point.

Isn't it possible to have a well-designed, difficult class AND dedicated students who learn the material enough to not make mistakes on the exam? If hardly anyone gets more than a few points off divided by points possible, most of the class will have 93%+ and get an A. No?

[Anonymous]

We're in a competitive school system. When my child became suicidal in 5th grade, I decided to back off a bit. I still insist that certain standards are met - homework done and turned in for example - but our lives are not going to center on her grades.

If she turns out to be mediocre but 1) alive and hopefully 2) happy, I am fine with that. I'd rather have a happy retail worker for a child than a neurotic mess because I spent her childhood haranguing her about her grades.

As an aside I was a mediocre kid and am now high income. Got serious towards the end of college. Some people just have to grow up before they take an interest in school.

[Anonymous]

OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

You put quotes around that as though it's untrue! I'd so much rather have an empathetic, kind, and well rounded child than some bot who is programmed to churn out 4.0's. My husband hardly cared about school and is a very high earner. His personality and ability to network got him where he is. My career was very much the same way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You do realize what average is mathematically, right? Bell curves and all that?

What does the bell curve have to do with high school grades?

Everyone can't get As.

I disagree with OP's premise entirely, but I also don't think this is accurate. My HS age students have definitely been in classes where the vast majority (far more than a bell curve model would allow) all got A's.

In my experience few if any HS classes are graded on a curve, and even my older kids' universities seem to be doing away with that concept. It's possible for the course to be taught well enough that most students get enough material correct on exams to earn a percentage grade in the A range, especially if it's a class with easily verifiable right or wrong answers where student X's performance can do nothing to impact the relative quality of student Y's work and whether or not student Y got all the answers correct.

Then the class is poorly designed and not rigorous. Everyone is mediocre at that point.

Isn't it possible to have a well-designed, difficult class AND dedicated students who learn the material enough to not make mistakes on the exam? If hardly anyone gets more than a few points off divided by points possible, most of the class will have 93%+ and get an A. No?

Sure it's possible. Just not likely. You know? Like the lottery. It's possible to win, just not likely.

No one is served well if classes frequently produce all As. The A students aren't challenged and don't learn how to strive and get bashed in the real world by people who learned to work hard and strive. The other students are left with the false impression they are A students. Then they get butt hurt when their asses get handed to them on a platter in the real world.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

You put quotes around that as though it's untrue! I'd so much rather have an empathetic, kind, and well rounded child than some bot who is programmed to churn out 4.0's. My husband hardly cared about school and is a very high earner. His personality and ability to network got him where he is. My career was very much the same way.

Are you adopting?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

You put quotes around that as though it's untrue! I'd so much rather have an empathetic, kind, and well rounded child than some bot who is programmed to churn out 4.0's. My husband hardly cared about school and is a very high earner. His personality and ability to network got him where he is. My career was very much the same way.

Ah yes, ambitious hard-working kids who strive for As are "bots" with "tiger parents."

[Anonymous]

Because hawking over my kid to make sure he gets As will not teach him as much as if he gets Bs and Cs on his own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

You put quotes around that as though it's untrue! I'd so much rather have an empathetic, kind, and well rounded child than some bot who is programmed to churn out 4.0's. My husband hardly cared about school and is a very high earner. His personality and ability to network got him where he is. My career was very much the same way.

Are you adopting?

You want rich, well rounded parents too? You'd have to audition. The lines are long.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP said it, raising average kids is 100x easier. If raising 4.0 perfect kids was easy everyone would have 4.0 perfect kids. Easier to make excuses and rationalize that "grades aren't everything."

You put quotes around that as though it's untrue! I'd so much rather have an empathetic, kind, and well rounded child than some bot who is programmed to churn out 4.0's. My husband hardly cared about school and is a very high earner. His personality and ability to network got him where he is. My career was very much the same way.

Are you adopting?

You want rich, well rounded parents too? You'd have to audition. The lines are long.

Money's not the issue. PP sounds nice!