Husband asked for a divorce last night

[Anonymous]

OP, now seriously, how did you not see this coming? You had no idea he's been dissatisfied with the marriage?

[Anonymous]

I'm sorry OP.

[Anonymous]

OP, how long have you been cheating on him and how do you think he figured it out?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a boss! Just make sure you have outside support. Your finances are ok. Don't make it seem like it affects you. Carry on like it's nothing.

This is stupid. Why should she pretend like a divorce does not effect her? It certainly will, it certainly should and it certainly does. Divorce is not a time to pretend

+1
This isn't her boyfriend who dumped her before prom. This is her husband, it's a whole different ball game.

[Anonymous]

OP, consider a 2 weeks on, 2 weeks off custody arrangement. You'll both get a mix of weekdays and weekends and the kids don't have to deal with mid-week shuffling around.
I'm very sorry this is happening to you, and for your shock.

[Anonymous]

Wtf? No one decent would do this right before the holidays.

[Anonymous]

OP here. You all have offered great advice.

Neither of us cheated. I have a major health illness that has caused a lot of stress on the family. I have chosen not to tell my parents, and husband disagrees with this decision. He is a kind, good man. I consider myself to also be a decent person. He realizes that we might be better off apart than together. He thinks he can actually help me handle the health issues when we are separated.

It is too complicated to communicate here, and I still haven't been able to sleep. I appreciate what everyone has contributed, and I am sure that therapy is in order. Hard to do that on a Saturday, but I am trying to get that lined up.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell your parents about your health. Do you want to blindside them with the news when things go south?

Is your husband leaving you because of this stubbornness? Try to compromise.

You will need your husband to help with your illness and to care for the kids.

Hang onto your marriage. Do whatever it takes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all have offered great advice.

Neither of us cheated. I have a major health illness that has caused a lot of stress on the family. I have chosen not to tell my parents, and husband disagrees with this decision. He is a kind, good man. I consider myself to also be a decent person. He realizes that we might be better off apart than together. He thinks he can actually help me handle the health issues when we are separated.

It is too complicated to communicate here, and I still haven't been able to sleep. I appreciate what everyone has contributed, and I am sure that therapy is in order. Hard to do that on a Saturday, but I am trying to get that lined up.

So sorry OP. Please try to get some sleep, Tylenol PM or something stronger if you have to. It will help you feel a bit better and think more clearly. Wishing you the best.

[Anonymous]

Do the 180!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do the 180!!

What is that?

[Anonymous]

I don't understand how a "good, kind man" blindsides and abandons a woman with some kind of major health issue because she chooses not to tell her parents. How is this good or kind to you or the kids?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Like a boss! Just make sure you have outside support. Your finances are ok. Don't make it seem like it affects you. Carry on like it's nothing.

This is stupid. Why should she pretend like a divorce does not effect her? It certainly will, it certainly should and it certainly does. Divorce is not a time to pretend

NP : I agree with being like a boss. Emoting is futile - and if he has checked out gets you nothing. Be strong for your kids etc but find some support. 180 him.
My exDW cheated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand how a "good, kind man" blindsides and abandons a woman with some kind of major health issue because she chooses not to tell her parents. How is this good or kind to you or the kids?

I'm guessing it's not cancer.

I'm guessing it's anxiety or depression or addiction---and that's why she isn't sharing it with her parents. And I imagine her husband is frustrated by her refusal to seek help---whether from her parents or doctors.

Am I right?

If it is something like cancer or MS, then why wouldn't you tell your parents and rally the village?

This doesn't make any sense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. You all have offered great advice.

Neither of us cheated. I have a major health illness that has caused a lot of stress on the family. I have chosen not to tell my parents, and husband disagrees with this decision. He is a kind, good man. I consider myself to also be a decent person. He realizes that we might be better off apart than together. He thinks he can actually help me handle the health issues when we are separated.

It is too complicated to communicate here, and I still haven't been able to sleep. I appreciate what everyone has contributed, and I am sure that therapy is in order. Hard to do that on a Saturday, but I am trying to get that lined up.

Gosh, OP, of course it's hard to say what's going on from the outside, but what you've just written sounds like a cry for help from your husband. He needs someone else in his life to help with your illness. And since you are choosing not to bring in your parents, he feels a need to escape because he can't handle it all. If that's even remotely true, please seek some outside help, somehow.