Dating etiquete - what next?

[Anonymous]

OP: This is all too much effort just for some free dinners, isn't it?

[Anonymous]

Don't text. There is a newer form of communication that a few people have discovered. It's called the telephone and was invented by someone named Alexander Graham Bell. Rumor has it he will be the next Steve Jobs. You speak into a mouthpiece and the person on the other end of the line (can be miles away!) can hear your words quite clearly. Conversations can get real steamy as you can actually hear the heavy breathing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Chastising and correcting is not meant to be done via text. Be considerate of his ego. You didn't need to tell him you disintegrated consider it a date. If the text was really that big of a deal, you should have said it more gently and in person. If he complained about the texts you sent during the racy chat, wouldn't it be upsetting to you?

+1. There is going to be a point that you can't use being rusty at dating as an excuse. You have electronic communication with someone in your life be it your friends, family, co-workers etc. Same rules apply about when in person is better than electronic. Also you seem to think everything has to be explicitly said when there is also subtlety and actions. The bottom line though is if you are really a blunt person, that's how you are with everyone, then guy need to be with someone that appreciates it and no point in trying to change who you are. If you are normally a subtle person -WTF, get out of your head and stop pre-emptively save yourself from any possible misunderstanding and getting hurt because it is coming off as being unkind and not being considerate.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks all for the feedback. Now I feel crappy about what I texted to him. Men try to hit on me a lot but this is the first man I've felt such instant, strong chemistry with...that might be part of my problem, it made me more anxious.

I was married for over 25 years, so I did well at maintaining a relationship over decades but obviously I'm clueless about modern dating. Clear communication was a key to the long marriage but we already knew each other well, different from a new date.

Some of the comments have helped me to see where I've gone wrong with this one and how do do better. I'll put this one down to messing up my first real dating experience since my divorce and I think that next time I won't make similar mistakes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, thanks all for the feedback. Now I feel crappy about what I texted to him. Men try to hit on me a lot but this is the first man I've felt such instant, strong chemistry with...that might be part of my problem, it made me more anxious.

I was married for over 25 years, so I did well at maintaining a relationship over decades but obviously I'm clueless about modern dating. Clear communication was a key to the long marriage but we already knew each other well, different from a new date.

Some of the comments have helped me to see where I've gone wrong with this one and how do do better. I'll put this one down to messing up my first real dating experience since my divorce and I think that next time I won't make similar mistakes.

Did he not contact you again?

[Anonymous]

Don't be too hard on yourself OP. Sounds like you were trying to be transparent. With more dates and more guys you'll get the hang of what's normal or not. Just chalk this up as a first step and a learning experience.

[Anonymous]

He hasn't contacted me. I hurt his feelings twice in a fairly short time so I think he won't contact me. I feel bad about bruising his ego-twice- but I've learnt from this experience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't be too hard on yourself OP. Sounds like you were trying to be transparent. With more dates and more guys you'll get the hang of what's normal or not. Just chalk this up as a first step and a learning experience.

Thank so much.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He hasn't contacted me. I hurt his feelings twice in a fairly short time so I think he won't contact me. I feel bad about bruising his ego-twice- but I've learnt from this experience.

Oh no, honey. Don't make this about him being a big baby who gets an easily bruised ego.

This is about you being a bitch, and him not wanting to waste any more time on a bitch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He hasn't contacted me. I hurt his feelings twice in a fairly short time so I think he won't contact me. I feel bad about bruising his ego-twice- but I've learnt from this experience.

Oh no, honey. Don't make this about him being a big baby who gets an easily bruised ego.

This is about you being a bitch, and him not wanting to waste any more time on a bitch.

Have a nice day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't text. There is a newer form of communication that a few people have discovered. It's called the telephone and was invented by someone named Alexander Graham Bell. Rumor has it he will be the next Steve Jobs. You speak into a mouthpiece and the person on the other end of the line (can be miles away!) can hear your words quite clearly. Conversations can get real steamy as you can actually hear the heavy breathing.

OP's issue here is not texting, even if she were speaking to him it sounds like she may have made things a bit awkward. It's okay, I'm sure she'll learn and get the hang of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He hasn't contacted me. I hurt his feelings twice in a fairly short time so I think he won't contact me. I feel bad about bruising his ego-twice- but I've learnt from this experience.

It's not about you bruising his ego, it's about you having shitty text game. Learn how to text before you drive more men away that you didn't need to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound high maintenance.

Who goes on dinner and movie dates nowadays? BOR-ING.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:obviously I'm clueless about modern dating

Clearly

[Anonymous]

Since you opened up Pandora's Box OP (by discussing sex w/him), it is likely going to be HIS favorite topic of conversation until he gets some.

After all.....He is a guy!