8 year old sleepover party - 3 girls excluded. WWYD?

[Anonymous]

stop being a rescuer and helicopter parent.

There is not one person on DCUM who at some point in their childhood was not invited to a party - and we all ended up better for it. Your DD needs to learn resiliency, or she will be a miserable adult.

These girls did her a favor, look at it that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mom isn't your friend. If your daughter likes the two other girls, I'd invite them for a sleep over and make it really fun and go over the top making a big fuss.

This is a great idea. Even if you can't do a sleep over invite them over for pizza and a movie.

That would be good too, with an ice cream sundae or other big fun desert. Or, even fondue. You could also invite a few of the girls invited who you know aren't good friends. Give them something to talk about. I'd also get each girl a special gift (assuming you can afford it).

[Anonymous]

Not everybody is going to be friends, or as close friends as BFFs are. Help your DD learn now that she doesn't want the company of those who don't want to be spending time with her. Being the recipient of an invitation for the sake of etiquette only is awkward for all involved. Yeah, it sucks to realize she's not actually close enough friends with those girls if she had previously thought she was, but what would you prefer everyone do -- fake it?

[Anonymous]

My 3rd grader has been not invited to numerous parties over the past couple of years. It is heartbreaking, but it is opportunity to work on resilience. It changes as years progress. A girl who didn't invite her to her party last year has been inviting her over for playdates lately. Just let it slide...it is part of life. Don't blame it on the mom.

[Anonymous]

Normally I would say that's not too nice but for a sleepover I feel differently. There's only so many kids you can fit in your house overnight. And she wasn't the only one not invited.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Normally I would say that's not too nice but for a sleepover I feel differently. There's only so many kids you can fit in your house overnight. And she wasn't the only one not invited.

They are inviting a lot of kids. They can find room for 3 more.

[Anonymous]

Is she friends with the birthday girl? It does not matter if the parents are friends, it is the 8 year old's party. I bet the family did not realize they invited everyone but 3 girls from the class. For an 8 year old's party, they probably did not check the class list (and it is still early enough in the year that a parent might not have a handle on classmates), so I would not jump to conclusions.

[Anonymous]

I'd just shrug and say "Yeah, it goes that way sometimes. Remember the time I needed you to cut three people from your guest list? It sucks, but life goes on."

[Anonymous]

I know this will sound hard to hear but be thankful this happened at 8 and not later on. My DD is now in middle school and this is the first time where she is being excluded from parties. In the past, all parents went all out to make sure every single girl was included (small school so easy to do). It's so much harder at MS age to be one of the few left out then it would have been at age 8.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What would I DO? Or what would I THINK?

I'd think it was normal developmentally, albeit hurtful to those excluded.

What would I do? I'd prepare my DD accordingly, maybe make sure she has something fun planned that date.

I don't think it rude or nasty, it's pretty normal for third graders to choose to invite their friends -- not everyone -- to their parties. If you're daughter had been the only one, you would have a point.

Just make sure she has a fun day with a special friend.

+1
Agree completely

[Anonymous]

I understand you feel bad for your daughter, but I'm not sure it would have been better for her to have attended the party and to have been feel left out while there!

[Anonymous]

If there are only 10 girls in the class and 7 are going to the sleepover that is tough for the three not invited. OP is this public school or private school? I am guessing private if there are only 10 girls in the class.

[Anonymous]

Last year, we ended up inviting 8 of 12 boys from DS's class. It started off with DS inviting 6 boys from his class and 2 boys from another class. Then last min, DS said he had to invite 2 more boys from his class so we invited them the week of. I realized later that we did not invite 3 boys out of the class. Absolutely nothing personal. DS got to pick out his guest list. I am not friends with any of the moms. I am friendly with some moms from the PTA but their kids are in different grades and I didn't invite their kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Last year, we ended up inviting 8 of 12 boys from DS's class. It started off with DS inviting 6 boys from his class and 2 boys from another class. Then last min, DS said he had to invite 2 more boys from his class so we invited them the week of. I realized later that we did not invite 3 boys out of the class. Absolutely nothing personal. DS got to pick out his guest list. I am not friends with any of the moms. I am friendly with some moms from the PTA but their kids are in different grades and I didn't invite their kids.

That's pretty crappy not to invite the extra 3.

[Anonymous]

Get used to this. This is the way it will be as the kids get older. Use the opportunity to teach your child resilience. Hold your head up high around the mom.