Would you leave your spouse if he/she was in an accident that left him/her in a wheelchair?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Such an awful thing to think about, but no. My husband fell into ill health and a wheel chair and then bed ridden and then he died. It was horrendous and I am still devastated. So happy I stayed with him and loved him until the end. Just devastating.

So sorry. Big hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can the person still have sex and stay thin and fit? Because if not then 80% of posters in this forum would hit the road.

I don't know if he can have sex or not. Not going to ask. Not my business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can the person still have sex and stay thin and fit? Because if not then 80% of posters in this forum would hit the road.

I don't know if he can have sex or not. Not going to ask. Not my business.

Who gives a f, that would be the least of his problems.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me.
Asking because a good friend of mine is dating a man whose ex wife left him for that reason.
I don't think I would. Seems cold to me, but I'm not in that situation.

It's cold, yes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Never. BUT if he was mean to me while in that wheelchair yes I would.

Yeah, because if you were suddenly were in a wheelchair after a serious accident you'd be all rainbows and sunshine.
You'd need to give a few years for the person to adjust.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that it's a good idea to downplay how hard it is to care for someone with limited mobility. An accident like this could potentially change everything from daily routines to family structure. Depending on his care needs, it could restrict where the family could live, what they can and cannot afford to do with their lives, etc.

I would like to think that I would not divorce over something like this, but honestly, I would have a really hard time accepting that I would never be able to have sex (traditional, PIV sex) with my partner ever again. I would have an equally hard time accepting that we might never be able to have children.

I love my husband and have stood by him through a major health crisis that compromised his mobility and made him depressed and irritable all the time. We didn't divorce, but those were the worst 5 months of our marriage.

[Anonymous]

Big difference between a paraplegic who uses a wheelchair and a quadraplegic who is paralyzed from the neck down like Cristopher Reeves.

[Anonymous]

My personal answer is an emphatic NO. However, if the marriage was not strong to begin with, then leaving might be more understandable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could understand if the spouse became abusive like in the case of your parents.

According to my friend he's a sweet guy. I've met him once and he seemed nice.

Maybe he was not nice before the accident, who knows.

Best not to judge others or say "I would never" .. because life has a way of proving you wrong.

[Anonymous]

No I would stay with my husband - we have decades together, 2 kids. We would get through it. But if we were young, just starting out, with our own jobs, no kids yet. I don't know. I can't answer that question because I've never been there done that before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could understand if the spouse became abusive like in the case of your parents.

According to my friend he's a sweet guy. I've met him once and he seemed nice.

Maybe he was not nice before the accident, who knows.

Best not to judge others or say "I would never" .. because life has a way of proving you wrong.

This. Maybe they weren't compatible, had grown apart before the accident and simply having to spend more time together was too much.

[Anonymous]

Did you see the "Theory of Everything?" It appears, in then end, that Jane was not prepared to be a lifelong caregiver no matter how idealistic and determined she was from the beginning.

[Anonymous]

I broke up with someone who told me that he would not be able to stick it out in that situation. It is a matter of fairness to me. If they would not stay with me, I would not stay with them. I have seen some people in that position, disabled, with a spouse, who themselves would never return the favor if the tables were turned.

[Anonymous]

Of course I would. Depending on the ailment (ie, just a loss in mobility or a more serious degenerative disability?) I might seek companionship or sex elsewhere, but leave or abandon?, no way. A good friend's wife has suffered from Huntington's disease for years, and he stays with her and cares for her, but he did have the companionship of another woman for a while. I would be tempted to do the same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not me.
Asking because a good friend of mine is dating a man whose ex wife left him for that reason.
I don't think I would. Seems cold to me, but I'm not in that situation.

Have you heard all sides of the story, or just the filter from him through his new girlfriend?