Why do single moms and divorcees message me...

[Anonymous]

It's because you're such a great catch!

[Anonymous]

Suck it up, buttercup, and recognize two things:

First, you're only dealing with what most women do when they're online dating - unwanted advances, or at least, advanced from unwanted people. When I was online dating, my profile said I was interested in single men within a certain age range -I got guys who were admittedly married but looking for flings, men well outside of my decided age preferences, and couples looking for a third.

Second, you're fortunate to be getting approached. Some people don't at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 31, if you were such a great catch, you wouldn't be trolling all the dating websites.

Not OP, but this is false and very outdated thinking.

So many hurt single moms and divorcees responding here.

Not the demographic you are calling out, but I agree. A 31yr old guy with a great personality, good looks, and something to offer, doesn't need a dating site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you date divorcees?

I'm 31 , not 51. I don't need any extra drama or baggage. If I was a divorcee, then I would be ok with it. I would rather date a widow than a divorcee.

You are very judgmental. You are assuming that if got divorced before age 30, there is baggage. There are people I know that got divorced that do not have kids, so what baggage are you referring to?

[Anonymous]

This is a common issue with online dating sites, and precisely why I gave up on trying to find a guy on them. You have to wade through the useless responses to get to one who's worth messaging back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:PP here (single mom). Don't put it in caps, that reads as bitter. I think it's better to say it in a positive light..."I'm interested in meeting never married, childless women like myself" vs what you don't date. When guys list what they DON'T like, my first thought is emotional baggage. Not sexy.

Good advice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 31, if you were such a great catch, you wouldn't be trolling all the dating websites.

Not OP, but this is false and very outdated thinking.

So many hurt single moms and divorcees responding here.

I'm not a single mom or divorcee. Happily married for 11 years.

If he was so great, he would easily be in a relationship, great woman wanting him or married. More to him than just being selective. There are plenty of women around that age without kids, etc. but his attitude sucks. I didn't plan to marry someone divorced or with kids, but did and he's a great husband and father.

That's nice it worked out for you, but that doesn't mean that everyone has to think the same way as you or because they think differently there is something wrong with them. That is immature thinking at it's finest: someone is thinking and doing something differently than I did therefore I must take it as a personal attack and lash out.


Also being in a relationship and married before you are 31 does not automatically mean you are a great person. Again an immature thought pattern: not married by 3o must be something terribly wrong with them/marital status is the ultimate determinate of personality and character.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 31, if you were such a great catch, you wouldn't be trolling all the dating websites.

Not OP, but this is false and very outdated thinking.

So many hurt single moms and divorcees responding here.

Not the demographic you are calling out, but I agree. A 31yr old guy with a great personality, good looks, and something to offer, doesn't need a dating site.

Again with outdated thinking that only social trolls used inline dating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you date divorcees?

I'm 31 , not 51. I don't need any extra drama or baggage. If I was a divorcee, then I would be ok with it. I would rather date a widow than a divorcee.

You are very judgmental. You are assuming that if got divorced before age 30, there is baggage. There are people I know that got divorced that do not have kids, so what baggage are you referring to?

I'm not a fan of the term baggage but even without kids there is likely to be additional items if you will to the relationship a never married person does not have,

Try not to take everyone's preferences so personally. OP may not be interested in dating a divorcee, but other guys are.


Once again, I'm amused by the sexism here. The advice to early 30s aged single women here is constantly why are you dating a divorced guy you can have your pick. OP is a man so the responses must be salty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you date divorcees?

I'm 31 , not 51. I don't need any extra drama or baggage. If I was a divorcee, then I would be ok with it. I would rather date a widow than a divorcee.

You are very judgmental. You are assuming that if got divorced before age 30, there is baggage. There are people I know that got divorced that do not have kids, so what baggage are you referring to?

Kids are not "baggage". They're kids.

The baggage is the emotional (and other) fallout from a committed and then failed relationship. The baggage is the unresolved (or even resolved) crap from one's family of origin and upbringing. Things like that.

Everyone has baggage. The older you are the more you collect. The question is whether it is neatly packed away and accessible or whether it is a mess and creates more mess.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:At 31, if you were such a great catch, you wouldn't be trolling all the dating websites.

Not OP, but this is false and very outdated thinking.

So many hurt single moms and divorcees responding here.

Sucks to be damaged goods.

[Anonymous]

Why do men message me, when my profile clearly states I'm a lesbian looking for women? I don't know, why does anyone do anything online. Hope dies last.

[Anonymous]

Gosh, I'm so glad to be married and not having to date all you assholes.

[Anonymous]

Good luck, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why don't you date divorcees?

I'm 31 , not 51. I don't need any extra drama or baggage. If I was a divorcee, then I would be ok with it. I would rather date a widow than a divorcee.

You are very judgmental. You are assuming that if got divorced before age 30, there is baggage. There are people I know that got divorced that do not have kids, so what baggage are you referring to?

Kids are not "baggage". They're kids.

The baggage is the emotional (and other) fallout from a committed and then failed relationship. The baggage is the unresolved (or even resolved) crap from one's family of origin and upbringing. Things like that.

Everyone has baggage. The older you are the more you collect. The question is whether it is neatly packed away and accessible or whether it is a mess and creates more mess.

NP but, someone with a string of failed relationships is better than a divorced person? A failed relationship is a failed relationship whether or not it led to marriage so counting out a divorced person (w/o kids) seems silly to me.

That said, everyone sets their own criteria when dating and he wants those specific criteria. I would think, however, that a decent looking guy with good credentials could easily find someone who fits those parameters in this area -- this is DC! smart single never married women abound! -- so the PPs who say something in the milk aint clean with OP are likely on to something.