Do STEM guys make good spouses and fathers?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STEM guys are THE BEST.

They tend to be late bloomers so they are not cocky. They're super smart and hard working but also laid back and chill.

This, absolutely. My husband is a hot nerd who was a very late bloomer. Now that he is in his early 30s he is actually much better looking than when we first met. He has no idea how attractive he is. Plus he's interesting and a great dad. He is in a low paying STEM field so I guess many on here would consider that a drawback, but his career is starting to take off and I make a solid salary too. More than he does, which we laugh about because he has far more marketable skills. That's the other perk, he doesn't take himself or anything too seriously and he is a true feminist in the way he has supported my career.

This is basically my BF, minus the kids part. I guess thats the root of the question, would he make a good dad given his career field. And you've pretty much answered it with your experience.

What do you consider as low paying STEM?

[Anonymous]

I am a STEM guy. The catch is we are motivated by non-financial intellectual pursuits. Understanding the problem and getting it right -- if there is an answer -- is more important than pleasing the customer. Also, I can get obsessed about my problem space. I enjoy it. And I can not let something go.

With that said, I rarely put in more than 8 hours at the office. I can do my obsessing in my brain, and solve the problems in my head while doing something else (like walking, etc).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STEM guys are THE BEST.

They tend to be late bloomers so they are not cocky. They're super smart and hard working but also laid back and chill.

This, absolutely. My husband is a hot nerd who was a very late bloomer. Now that he is in his early 30s he is actually much better looking than when we first met. He has no idea how attractive he is. Plus he's interesting and a great dad. He is in a low paying STEM field so I guess many on here would consider that a drawback, but his career is starting to take off and I make a solid salary too. More than he does, which we laugh about because he has far more marketable skills. That's the other perk, he doesn't take himself or anything too seriously and he is a true feminist in the way he has supported my career.

This is basically my BF, minus the kids part. I guess thats the root of the question, would he make a good dad given his career field. And you've pretty much answered it with your experience.

What do you consider as low paying STEM?

Biology/biomedical science. Not saying it is low paying compared to all fields, just that it's not physics or certain types of engineering in terms of starting salaries for STEM. We both worked hard to get through grad school in our respective fields and we were super poor when we got married, so we are thrilled with our combined income although it is modest by DCUM crazy standards.

[Anonymous]

My STEM guy is pretty awesome. He's a great dad, equal partner, and values my smarts too. Plus he's hot, laid back, and values logic/consideration of options rather than rash decision making or digging in on an issue even if he's wrong. The only annoying STEM-type trait is the fact he's very introverted and not really prone to expressing emotion.
He's an academic, so definitely isn't making the big bucks.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're super in the sack, too. Every one of them is hung like a gorilla.

I do not know if you mean what you have written, but it is very true for my DH. He is a geek, super smart, environmentalist, very moral and compassionate, great dad and spouse, unaware of how hot he is etc.
He was a late bloomer too and so did not have a big head about how well endowed he is. I think they are good in the sack because they pay attention to the mechanics of making a woman happy. It is in their wiring - how to do a job well and efficiently. LOL!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My STEM guy is pretty awesome. He's a great dad, equal partner, and values my smarts too. Plus he's hot, laid back, and values logic/consideration of options rather than rash decision making or digging in on an issue even if he's wrong. The only annoying STEM-type trait is the fact he's very introverted and not really prone to expressing emotion.
He's an academic, so definitely isn't making the big bucks.

+1 on most of this for my CS architect DH. Kind, smart, thoughtful. Great husband. Great dad. Treats the kids and I very well, and values me as an equal partner. Makes about 250k a year at a smudge over 40- no managerial role, just programming (but he is the top programmer in his organization). With my fed professional salary, we are comfortable. I lucked out for sure. The catch? He's a night owl and I'm not. About half the time he comes to bed with me, and the other half, he programs from 10pm-2am, which is his most efficient time. He's a touch ADD, and tend to overcommit. And he's a strong introvert. But so am I and both DCs, so I don't view this as a negative. Everyone in our house is happier with minimal noise, more downtime, and less social interaction. 17 years in, I regret nothing.

[Anonymous]

Literal thinkers. They will take what you say at face-value. Mean what you say. Say what you mean. Say it exactly. Don't expect attention to nuance, figurative language - ie don't expect poetry or attention to frivolous detail. If observing "special" dates is important - anniversary, etc - give them reminders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:STEM guys are THE BEST.

They tend to be late bloomers so they are not cocky. They're super smart and hard working but also laid back and chill.

This, absolutely. My husband is a hot nerd who was a very late bloomer. Now that he is in his early 30s he is actually much better looking than when we first met. He has no idea how attractive he is. Plus he's interesting and a great dad. He is in a low paying STEM field so I guess many on here would consider that a drawback, but his career is starting to take off and I make a solid salary too. More than he does, which we laugh about because he has far more marketable skills. That's the other perk, he doesn't take himself or anything too seriously and he is a true feminist in the way he has supported my career.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literal thinkers. They will take what you say at face-value. Mean what you say. Say what you mean. Say it exactly. Don't expect attention to nuance, figurative language - ie don't expect poetry or attention to frivolous detail. If observing "special" dates is important - anniversary, etc - give them reminders.

My friends BF is an engineer but he's very thoughtful and romantic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My STEM guy is pretty awesome. He's a great dad, equal partner, and values my smarts too. Plus he's hot, laid back, and values logic/consideration of options rather than rash decision making or digging in on an issue even if he's wrong. The only annoying STEM-type trait is the fact he's very introverted and not really prone to expressing emotion.
He's an academic, so definitely isn't making the big bucks.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They're super in the sack, too. Every one of them is hung like a gorilla.

Gorillas have very tiny penises, FYI.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Literal thinkers. They will take what you say at face-value. Mean what you say. Say what you mean. Say it exactly. Don't expect attention to nuance, figurative language - ie don't expect poetry or attention to frivolous detail. If observing "special" dates is important - anniversary, etc - give them reminders.

This hit the nail on the head with an issue that my BF and I just went through recently with regard to our anniversary. Instead of getting upset though I ended up programming our future major milestone into his phone calendar so hopefully that helps with the reminder piece, even if it does only show up the day of the milestone.

Do STEM guys tend to be more loyal to their family? Like less likelihood of cheating, etc. How are they with regard to financial decisions since it seems like they analyze a lot of things before making a decision.

[Anonymous]

Been married to a STEM guy (Principal Systems Engineer) for 15 years. He rocks my world and he's a great dad to our three kids. Since a lot of people are asking about money, I'll say that his analytical and IT skills made it possible to figure out a very, very lucrative side hustle that nets nearly triple his annual salary at his 9-5 job.

[Anonymous]

The BEST, except for the subset that has Asperger's. Then it's whole other kettle of fish. Ask me how I know...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
The BEST, except for the subset that has Asperger's. Then it's whole other kettle of fish. Ask me how I know...

I'll bite. How do you know?