How do you know husband is "in love" with you?

[Anonymous]

He calls to say he's coming home, and can he pick anything up.
When I run out of something mid bake, he goes out and gets it.
He buys me flowers when he sees them and he remembers the kind I don't like and doesn't but them.
He is thoughtful and gets me the ice cream I like

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes I get this nagging suspicion that my dh wasn't ever "in love" with me. I know he loves me deeply and cares for me. But we never had the hot and spicy romance other people speak of. He would not see me for weeks during dates when we met and was still pining for his ex. etc.

I know he cares for me, I can tell. I can't tell if he's "in love" with me.

Ladies, how do you know your husband is "in love" with you?

I think you need to come up with better terminology than "in love." Lust? Emotionally destabilized? (Because "he loves me deeply but he's not in love with me" just doesn't make any sense.)

+1,000
I never understood the whole "love but not in love" thing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He calls to say he's coming home, and can he pick anything up.
When I run out of something mid bake, he goes out and gets it.
He buys me flowers when he sees them and he remembers the kind I don't like and doesn't but them.
He is thoughtful and gets me the ice cream I like

PP here. My hubs does this too.

He lets me call him a really goofy nickname.

[Anonymous]

When I have an irrational craving for ice cream at nine pm he goes and gets it for me.

We hug each other before we go to bed every day.

He takes very good care of me and listens to me. I am a lucky girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He wishes to be a faithful, married man. That's core to his being. And I'm a pretty good catch and reasonable to live with. Same for him.

Exactly the same here. He wanted to have a family. We are family together, with our sons, and it feels natural. And our day-to-day life is overall pretty damn good.

But this sounds like a practical partnership, not being in love.

If you think that, it's fine. It matters not at all to me. He gets me flowers on Valentine's Day and got rid of a mouse I was scared to touch. Is that chivalry better?

We have a life together and we both love it. I know he loves me for creating it with him. Same way I feel.

[Anonymous]

I think my DH loves me, but not quite sure he is/was ever in love. He is a great father and husband, but never seemed to be particularly wild about me. He gives fantastic gifts, but it's clear it's more of a duty he is fulfilling.
I don't know how else to say it- just something I sense.

[Anonymous]

My marriage hasn't been great the past few years since having kids, but I know my husband loves me because every time I bring up an issue with him he makes a genuine effort to change or improve. He digs his heels in whenever we talk, but when it comes to action, he changes. He also wrote me the sappiest Valentine card. It was the first one in a very long time, and I know he meant everything he said, even if he is the master of cliches.

I will say that I don't think he has ever been "in lust" with me. It has nagged at me, feeling like I am not his type, and that he settled for someone he wasn't crazily attracted to because he knew I would make a good wife and mother to his children. I suppose that type of attraction fades, anyway. But it would be nice if I caught his eye every now and then the way that other women clearly do.

[Anonymous]

- He misses me when I'm gone
- We enjoy spending time together
- He asks to meet me for lunch dates
- He makes me feel beautiful, even when I'm sick and feeling gross
- He talks me up to his friends and family
- He does little things to show his affection. For example, I texted him last week that my windshield wipers were shot. During his lunch hour he bought me new ones, and replaced them so I didn't have to drive home with shoddy wipers. I didn't ask, or know - it was just done. It made my day and meant more to me than flowers, cards, or any of the standard showings of "love".

There was a candid photo of us that were taken a few months ago that caught be by surprise. I'm looking at the camera, and he's looking at me. I immediately felt, "wow this guy loves me a lot". My sister took the photo and said he looks at me like that when I'm in the moment and not paying attention. My heart melted. It's a silly photo with our hooded sweatshirts pulled tight because we were so cold.

I feel like the luckiest woman around.

- Married 15 years, three kids

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have always has an imbalanced relationship with him chasing me and it has not gotten any better after 12 years. Constant planning of romantic date nights, little suprises, does pretty much anything I ask him to if he thinks it will make me happy. Earns a good income in part to please me and spoil me. Would probably kill someone who fucked with me. He considers me his beat friend.

This all sounds like he's pretty much a pussy and in a way he is whrn it comes to me, but I couldn't be with someone else. I'm treated like an absolute princess and am definitely ruined for life.

How much does he earn and how does he spoil you?

Anywhere from 375k-700K (sales).

If I mention there is something I want, he notes it and guaranteed it will show up as a present. He remembers the smallest things. He knows what flowers I like and always orders them when he sends me flowers.

If I'm really busy at work one week, he will go behind my back and suprise me and have the house cleaners come extra days so I come home to a clean house. Fully plans a week vacation each March somewhere warm without the kids, it is alays some where top notch. I do zero planning just show up with a packed bag.

Basically it makes him happy to do things for me. He's a giver.

[Anonymous]

What happened to this thread?

[Anonymous]

Love is a verb. He demonstrates his love with actions... he's a great partner in the day-to-day stuff. Where it really matters. That's how I know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have always has an imbalanced relationship with him chasing me and it has not gotten any better after 12 years. Constant planning of romantic date nights, little suprises, does pretty much anything I ask him to if he thinks it will make me happy. Earns a good income in part to please me and spoil me. Would probably kill someone who fucked with me. He considers me his beat friend.

This all sounds like he's pretty much a pussy and in a way he is whrn it comes to me, but I couldn't be with someone else. I'm treated like an absolute princess and am definitely ruined for life.

How much does he earn and how does he spoil you?

Anywhere from 375k-700K (sales).

If I mention there is something I want, he notes it and guaranteed it will show up as a present. He remembers the smallest things. He knows what flowers I like and always orders them when he sends me flowers.

If I'm really busy at work one week, he will go behind my back and suprise me and have the house cleaners come extra days so I come home to a clean house. Fully plans a week vacation each March somewhere warm without the kids, it is alays some where top notch. I do zero planning just show up with a packed bag.

Basically it makes him happy to do things for me. He's a giver.

And what do you do for him?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have always has an imbalanced relationship with him chasing me and it has not gotten any better after 12 years. Constant planning of romantic date nights, little suprises, does pretty much anything I ask him to if he thinks it will make me happy. Earns a good income in part to please me and spoil me. Would probably kill someone who fucked with me. He considers me his beat friend.

This all sounds like he's pretty much a pussy and in a way he is whrn it comes to me, but I couldn't be with someone else. I'm treated like an absolute princess and am definitely ruined for life.

How much does he earn and how does he spoil you?

Anywhere from 375k-700K (sales).

If I mention there is something I want, he notes it and guaranteed it will show up as a present. He remembers the smallest things. He knows what flowers I like and always orders them when he sends me flowers.

If I'm really busy at work one week, he will go behind my back and suprise me and have the house cleaners come extra days so I come home to a clean house. Fully plans a week vacation each March somewhere warm without the kids, it is alays some where top notch. I do zero planning just show up with a packed bag.

Basically it makes him happy to do things for me. He's a giver.

And what do you do for him?

Be me, which is fabulous and amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What happened to this thread?

Jeff deleted half of it after some unmediated posters attacked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What happened to this thread?

Jeff deleted half of it after some unmediated posters attacked.

Who did they attack? If it was me, I'm pissed if I missed it.