I don't think my son will ever grow up, settle down with a nice girl

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually if a man has relationship issues look no further than the dysfunctional
relationship between his parents.

There's a lot of truth to this, OP. Did/do you have a good, healthy relationship with your husband?

Did you teach your son what to look for in a partner and what to be for that partner? (This only works well when you've modeled it in your own romantic relationship).

I can admit that my boys father was not the perfect choice. I married him young, and that relationship was not good. He wasn't the perfect man, but he loved his boys and always did right by them, and was a good man in other ways especially as he aged.

Their father was not their only role model I've been married to my husband for 23 years, since my boys were quiet small and he is a great man, and I don;t think our relationship is out of the realm of normal.

I understand what you are saying, but my younger son does not have these issues.

Probably your younger son is less able to remember the breakdown of your first marriage. Older son remembers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman he dates gets increasingly more "interesting".
He was involved with a perfectly nice girl, but that ended. He's dated some lovely women, so I don't know why he insists on dating women who don't love him for him , and in my opinion are trashy.
I want to suggest women to him, but I know that wouldn't work. It's very frustrating.

Time, to butt out, mother. When the time comes, your DS will pick someone opposite you, just to aggravate you, just like my DH did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe he won't "settle down" with a traditional girl. That's fine. There are a lot of ways to live a life. Nuclear family life doesn't work for everyone.

Live YOUR life, OP.

I have no problem with non traditional in some ways, but seeing a girlfriend of his private parts when we tweet or whatever is hard to take in stride.

As for manners, I'm not expecting her to know a dinner fork from a salad fork or act as if she were dining with the queen, but I don't think it's too much to expect she doesn't discuss flatulence.

[Anonymous]

OP you're divorced and remarried. What do you know about tradition, manners, and not being trashy?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually if a man has relationship issues look no further than the dysfunctional
relationship between his parents.

There's a lot of truth to this, OP. Did/do you have a good, healthy relationship with your husband?

Did you teach your son what to look for in a partner and what to be for that partner? (This only works well when you've modeled it in your own romantic relationship).

I can admit that my boys father was not the perfect choice. I married him young, and that relationship was not good. He wasn't the perfect man, but he loved his boys and always did right by them, and was a good man in other ways especially as he aged.

Their father was not their only role model I've been married to my husband for 23 years, since my boys were quiet small and he is a great man, and I don;t think our relationship is out of the realm of normal.

I understand what you are saying, but my younger son does not have these issues.

Probably your younger son is less able to remember the breakdown of your first marriage. Older son remembers.

Maybe. 3.5 years can make a difference, but they were still both very little at the time of the split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every woman he dates gets increasingly more "interesting".
He was involved with a perfectly nice girl, but that ended. He's dated some lovely women, so I don't know why he insists on dating women who don't love him for him , and in my opinion are trashy.
I want to suggest women to him, but I know that wouldn't work. It's very frustrating.

Have him get help.

<Freud accent>Tell me about your mother</Freud Accent>

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Usually if a man has relationship issues look no further than the dysfunctional
relationship between his parents.

There's a lot of truth to this, OP. Did/do you have a good, healthy relationship with your husband?

Did you teach your son what to look for in a partner and what to be for that partner? (This only works well when you've modeled it in your own romantic relationship).

I can admit that my boys father was not the perfect choice. I married him young, and that relationship was not good. He wasn't the perfect man, but he loved his boys and always did right by them, and was a good man in other ways especially as he aged.

Their father was not their only role model I've been married to my husband for 23 years, since my boys were quiet small and he is a great man, and I don;t think our relationship is out of the realm of normal.

I understand what you are saying, but my younger son does not have these issues.

Probably your younger son is less able to remember the breakdown of your first marriage. Older son remembers.

Maybe. 3.5 years can make a difference, but they were still both very little at the time of the split.

That doesn't mean it didn't affect them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Harsh crowd. I also have two sons (they are young) and just hope they find good partners and are in healthy and stable relationships. I hear your worry OP. Some men just also never mature despite getting older. My single 30 something professional friends are running into these guys. He might just have to learn the hard way what qualities he needs to be focusing on.

Thank you. Speaking as an older mum, cherish them. In my own biased opinion there is nothing better than being a mom to sons.
I don't want to see him hurt, or to make the mistakes I made. That's the mom in me. I really think he could be a wonderful partner and some day a wonderful father if he would just get out of his own way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Harsh crowd. I also have two sons (they are young) and just hope they find good partners and are in healthy and stable relationships. I hear your worry OP. Some men just also never mature despite getting older. My single 30 something professional friends are running into these guys. He might just have to learn the hard way what qualities he needs to be focusing on.

Thank you. Speaking as an older mum, cherish them. In my own biased opinion there is nothing better than being a mom to sons.
I don't want to see him hurt, or to make the mistakes I made. That's the mom in me. I really think he could be a wonderful partner and some day a wonderful father if he would just get out of his own way.

Why should he take your advice? You're divorced.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Every woman he dates gets increasingly more "interesting".
He was involved with a perfectly nice girl, but that ended. He's dated some lovely women, so I don't know why he insists on dating women who don't love him for him , and in my opinion are trashy.
I want to suggest women to him, but I know that wouldn't work. It's very frustrating.

Time, to butt out, mother. When the time comes, your DS will pick someone opposite you, just to aggravate you, just like my DH did.

Or even more infuriating, he'll marry another control freak just like mom. After all, it'll feel like "home."

[Anonymous]

Or even better, a bitter, know it all, "interesting" girlfriend like all of these posters! What a MIL's dream!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP you're divorced and remarried. What do you know about tradition, manners, and not being trashy?

Is it your intention to sound ridiculous?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Harsh crowd. I also have two sons (they are young) and just hope they find good partners and are in healthy and stable relationships. I hear your worry OP. Some men just also never mature despite getting older. My single 30 something professional friends are running into these guys. He might just have to learn the hard way what qualities he needs to be focusing on.

Thank you. Speaking as an older mum, cherish them. In my own biased opinion there is nothing better than being a mom to sons.
I don't want to see him hurt, or to make the mistakes I made. That's the mom in me. I really think he could be a wonderful partner and some day a wonderful father if he would just get out of his own way.

Why should he take your advice? You're divorced.

Perhaps she gained knowledge from her mistakes which she would like to pass on so that her son doesn't walk the same path. Watching a train wreck (especially when that train wreck is someone you love) can be very difficult. My guess allot of the hateful posters are in dead a part of a train wreck or they wouldn't be so hateful.

[Anonymous]

my son has never had a date , is 20, and is felling worthless.

I wish he could find someone for just a short time so he feels normal

[Anonymous]

OP, this is the place of stay married no matter what because of the kids, hence the divorce nonsense earlier. I think you have to let your son make his own mistakes.