Does dating white guys make me self-racist?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could have written this post, except I'm 35 and married to a pale white guy (ginger). FWIW, I'm very proud of my culture so I don't think I'm racist in any way.

PS my kids are gorgeous.

Because he's attracted to you, too!

Happily Ever After!

Thanks, PP, for adding joy to DCUM!

[Anonymous]

Self-hating you mean?

Personally, I don't understand having a preference for physical traits.

Not that there is automatically wrong with those that do, but in my experience those that do usually base those preferences on stereotypes or having been indoctrinated by the white majority standard of attractiveness in a mate.

I think it warrants a little bit of soul searching to discover the origins of those preferences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm an Indian American woman who was raised by really traditional and conservative Indian parents. At 24, I am now almost exclusively attracted to blonde super preppy Americana boys.

A part of it feels natural; I went to an all white high school. The other feels strange. Why don't I want to date Indian guys?

I'm so confused!

OP you sound like me at that age only I'm AA. when I was older ( 30) I discovered my preference was because like you I had come of age surrounded by white males, the only AA males were related to me. I just didn't see my own as something to see as attractive as a potential partner. Does that make sense?
Anyway once I recognized that it helped me broaden my horizons, and if I'm to be 100% I am no longer attracted to those race which is ok with me, given this country's current climate I want a husband who understands how it is to the core without me needing to teach him, but that' s a different conversation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Self-hating you mean?

Personally, I don't understand having a preference for physical traits.

Not that there is automatically wrong with those that do, but in my experience those that do usually base those preferences on stereotypes or having been indoctrinated by the white majority standard of attractiveness in a mate.

I think it warrants a little bit of soul searching to discover the origins of those preferences.

I'm in my mid 40's Asian, and growing up here in the US, the media was dominated by pretty white people. The effect of media on a person is strong. Given that OP was mostly surrounded by white people in school, it doesn't surprise me that she finds white men more attractive.

[Anonymous]

It's a consequence of colonialism. Some many hot Indian guys, way hotter than an dorky white guy. You're nuts OP! I do think there is some self-hate when you don't like someone who looks like you. I don't think it's your fault though; kinda hard to avoid that if you grew up in the US like the pp mentioned.

[Anonymous]

I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

No way. Indian people are way more invested in skin tone than a white person will ever be.

[Anonymous]

Opposites attract--really, they do.

[Anonymous]

Whatevs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

you ask this but you know nothing about the obsession in India and Pakistan with pale skin. Its a cultural phenomenon.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

you ask this but you know nothing about the obsession in India and Pakistan with pale skin. Its a cultural phenomenon.

As is the cultural phenomenon regarding the obsession with tan skin.

So funny how Whites always think their obsessions are normal but other "cultural phenomenons" are so crazy in comparison. It's all perspective hun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not self-hating unless you have a strict "no Indian guys" policy. IMO, something is not quite right with a person who writes off ALL potential partners of their race.

This is the right answer. If you are completely excluding men of your own race, then you obviously have issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

you ask this but you know nothing about the obsession in India and Pakistan with pale skin. Its a cultural phenomenon.

As is the cultural phenomenon regarding the obsession with tan skin.

So funny how Whites always think their obsessions are normal but other "cultural phenomenons" are so crazy in comparison. It's all perspective hun.

No it's not. We both know that. White people don't have an obsession with tanning or having babies with brown skin people. Indians will bleach their skin and seek out to "white-wash" their offspring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think a lot of Indian people do this. Find a white spouse. They are obsessed with skin-tone.

Does the same rational apply to white people who tan themselves or obsessed with being tan (sun, bed, or self-tanner), and dating darker skinned spouses?

you ask this but you know nothing about the obsession in India and Pakistan with pale skin. Its a cultural phenomenon.

Really? I'm half Indian and half white. I think I'm in a pretty great position to posit this question, actually.