My mom is convinced he will "grow out" of his special needs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay so I just reread your OP.
You can't convince someone to believe what they don't want to believe. You just can't.
It sucks that your mom isn't supportive, but you have to stop turning to her expecting the support she's not giving.

The other piece is you can't expect the world ( family included) to adapt to your son and his therapy.
If you are having holidays at your mom's you need to come up with strategies to make sure your son can function in the rules and boundaries of the home.
If that means you have to shell out cash for a hotel, only show up for meals, and only stay a short time, then that's what has to happen.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is why I never told anyone on our families that my child has adhd.

Me too. We never told anyone. Now that he is a teen we are so happy we kept his medical conditions to ourselves.

I would suggest as others have a heart to heart with your mom. Just say you only discuss ADHD with your doctor. Stay firm.

We also did not jump on medication. I wish we had my son on medication sooner. In the end medication was a lifesaver.

Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I never told anyone on our families that my child has adhd.

They probably know even if you don't say anything.

They are free to figure it out if they want. However, I wont be getting into discussions with them. None of their business.
Plus, I bet they dont know. It took the doctors time to figure it out.... How would my family know?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is why I never told anyone on our families that my child has adhd.

Me too. We never told anyone. Now that he is a teen we are so happy we kept his medical conditions to ourselves.

I would suggest as others have a heart to heart with your mom. Just say you only discuss ADHD with your doctor. Stay firm.

We also did not jump on medication. I wish we had my son on medication sooner. In the end medication was a lifesaver.

Good luck.

I agree. My son is a teen now. His health info is private. I am glad he has control over who he shares it with.
I keep my health info private too.

[Anonymous]

Wtf does your son's add have to do with Fox News? Just felt the need to throw that in there? VOMIT

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

+1
Take your BS elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

I agree with your Mom. Have you ever listened to her thoughtfully and considered whether there might be some truth in there . . .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

I absolutely agree.

You would not be medicating your child for other people's convenience, you would be doing it so that your son wouldn't feel every minute of every day that he is "bad". If you want to know whether meds are the right decision or not, talk to adults whose parents didn't medicate them and you will see very quickly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

I absolutely agree.

You would not be medicating your child for other people's convenience, you would be doing it so that your son wouldn't feel every minute of every day that he is "bad". If you want to know whether meds are the right decision or not, talk to adults whose parents didn't medicate them and you will see very quickly.

Another adult with ADHD who agrees. Before meds, I functioned well enough to get by without major disasters, but every minute of every day was just so hard. With meds, I still have to work with my behavioral strategies (routines, lists, schedules, reminders on my phone, regular breaks to let my brain recharge, etc.), but I don't feel like I'm starting every day still mentally tapped out from getting through the day before.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

As an alternate take, my stepbrother with ADD and anxiety was made absolutely bonkers by meds and hated them, to the extent he almost dropped out and didn't try college for years. After several years on his own doing manual labor and martial arts and figuring things out on his own terms he enrolled in college and excelled. There is no one size fits all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

As an alternate take, my stepbrother with ADD and anxiety was made absolutely bonkers by meds and hated them, to the extent he almost dropped out and didn't try college for years. After several years on his own doing manual labor and martial arts and figuring things out on his own terms he enrolled in college and excelled. There is no one size fits all.

He was probably misdiagnose and therefore mistreted. Pretty common thing for 80s/90s and some early 00s kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

As an alternate take, my stepbrother with ADD and anxiety was made absolutely bonkers by meds and hated them, to the extent he almost dropped out and didn't try college for years. After several years on his own doing manual labor and martial arts and figuring things out on his own terms he enrolled in college and excelled. There is no one size fits all.

He wasn't on the right meds. And please don't tell adults with anxiety and ADHD that they will "figure it all out" with martial arts and excel, that is not possible nor respectful to those of us who know and aren't sharing anecdotes with a pat ending.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

+1. I feel bad for the teachers and other students who your snowflake will be disrupting

Troll supporting its troll post.

Nope. I made the first post, don't know who the poster is who supported it.
I am an adult with ADD and I can tell you that being a child with ADD is miserable. I would never, ever deny my child medication for ADD.

I absolutely agree.

You would not be medicating your child for other people's convenience, you would be doing it so that your son wouldn't feel every minute of every day that he is "bad". If you want to know whether meds are the right decision or not, talk to adults whose parents didn't medicate them and you will see very quickly.

Another adult with ADHD who agrees. Before meds, I functioned well enough to get by without major disasters, but every minute of every day was just so hard. With meds, I still have to work with my behavioral strategies (routines, lists, schedules, reminders on my phone, regular breaks to let my brain recharge, etc.), but I don't feel like I'm starting every day still mentally tapped out from getting through the day before.

I know this is off topic and OP did not ask for a medicate or not to medicate debate, but I have to agree. I know someone with parents that refused medication even when it was clear it was needed.
Poor guy had to beg for it before they relented, this was after years of struggling and attempting to self- medicate with illegal substances.

Bringing it back to , OP don't feel like you've failed if your son does end up needed medication.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well she is right.

Your poor parenting choices are preventing him from getting help. He needs medication. Get it for him. That's what a good parenting decision looks like.

Bullshit. Meds are not a cure-all and they aren't for every kid. Some kids need meds. Some kids do better with a behavior management program.

It's not a "poor parenting" decision. It's an individualized choice that each family has to make for their kid based on what that kid needs. There isn't one solution that everyone must follow.