My former girlfriend wanted to hurt me so she trash talked me to my fiance

[Anonymous]

I would bet he is as good as gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Even though I told him all that was in the past and that I love him with all my heart, he still feels like he's been duped. He's also extremely angry that I hadn't wanted to experiment with him while I had "no problem" experimenting with the other guy. When I asked him what I could do, he said he wants to "revisit" our past relationships talk and how many guys I've been intimate with. He also wants to know more about my ex and who the second guy in the threesomes was.

This isn't just about sex nor about what happened in the past. It's about what happened RECENTLY when you lied to him. You may think this is about "trying this or that" but the reality is that you were lying to him right up until the moment the bitch let loose and he found out in a pretty horrible way. The fact you were given a chance to come clean about anything and everything in the past and opted not to really is twisting the knife in him. Current talk about experimenting and what happened in the past are really just a cover for the issue of trust, which you have had shredded before him in his eyes.

This humiliation is going to hang over him for, well, as long as you have some of these friends. His trust in you, currently non-existent, is going to take quite awhile to recover, if at all. You can have a totally honest and truthful conversation with him about this and everything else, but even then I'm not sure if he is willing to move on. Honestly I wouldn't be surprised if he were to dump you for the lie even if he said he has gotten over the sex bit (or you have eventually tried something similar with him).

I'd be more than cool with an fiancee who had a threesome in the past. But one who lied to my face about it when things were getting serious is something I'm not sure I could get over.

[Anonymous]

This relationship is over. Use it as a learning experience. Don't lie to the next guy you click with and you can't be friends with guys you have had threesome with. He has to go if you want a new guy to stick around

[Anonymous]

Everyone has a past and I truly don't think your future husband or wife needs to know every single solitary detail.

Most people spend way too much in the "past" and you can't change whatever happened so you move on with life.

And OP's situation just proves you can't tell your friend(s) everything because some will use it against you. Take note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My fiance absolutely IS 100% the real deal. It's just I guess that we have pasts that are different. I know it's a touchy topic so I didn't go all out there when we talked. I guess I wanted him to see me having a past sort of like his if that makes sense.

He's super pissed that we've hung out with the guy I did what I did and that i told him he was just a friend when he wasn't. He feels like that guy is laughing at him and that everybody now knows. How do I calm all this down?! He's such a great man I feel awful about all this

You don't need to be forgiven about your sexual past. What you did or did not do with others does not make you slutty or damaged. You have nothing to be embarrassed about. That being said, you should not have lied. Maybe not told all the details, but no lying. So at this point, there is nothing you can do about his anger and disappointment. All you can do is keep apologizing for lying (but don't apologize for having a past) and give him time.

But if he is a guy who thinks that his girlfriend having a 'slutty' past means everyone is talking and laughing about him, I don't think he will get over this. He will always judge you. He will never be able to accept you, the real you.

If that happens, you will survive. You will find another great guy who will accept you and your past. Just use this as a learning experience, that you need to be honest (but honesty does not mean reveal all).

[Anonymous]

The boy friend sounds immature and frankly a waste of your time. A real man takes to for you.

Every guy knows to add 3, multiply by 2 and throw in a different race partner for good measure when a girl tells you she only slept with 3 guys.

Normal people don't pester their partners about past sexual escapades. My wife knows I had my fun. She doesn't ask. And I don't care what she did.

It's about is now.

I suspect you will be better off in the future with a easier going guy. And not some douche in a blazer worried that you
Might embarres him? Who even talks like that around here.

[Anonymous]

Sorry Op, but you were a total jerk for introducing this ex boyfriend as "your good friend" and not mentioning a thing about your past romantic/sexual relationship with this guy.

It isn't your "bitch" friend's fault that you have been less than forthcoming with your fiance - that is 110% all on YOU. Not sure what advice you want to hear. Honestly you really do not sound ready for marriage. You might want to rethink that.

[Anonymous]

^Not saying you owe your fiance in depth detail about your sexual past but your fiance certainly should know if he is hanging out with your ex boyfriend. How can you not see that?

[Anonymous]

I just think that you are with this guy because of who he is, not because the two of you are really in sync. So it will be hard for you to lose him (as you probably will) but you can comfort yourself knowing that, while he may be "the real deal", he is not the one for you. You need someone who brings out the very best in you, not someone you have to cover up the real you in order to keep him.

[Anonymous]

It wasn't trash talking...it was true.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^Not saying you owe your fiance in depth detail about your sexual past but your fiance certainly should know if he is hanging out with your ex boyfriend. How can you not see that?

This is the biggest issue, and probably what your fiance is most upset about.
You can't lie and pretend to be something you are not to someone you plan on spending the rest of your life with.
If he was really the one for you, you wouldn't have to pretend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It wasn't trash talking...it was true.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sorry Op, but you were a total jerk for introducing this ex boyfriend as "your good friend" and not mentioning a thing about your past romantic/sexual relationship with this guy.

It isn't your "bitch" friend's fault that you have been less than forthcoming with your fiance - that is 110% all on YOU. Not sure what advice you want to hear. Honestly you really do not sound ready for marriage. You might want to rethink that.

Reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

Your a whore, no need to hide it. Why is your circle so small, I smell a troll.

[Anonymous]

I recommend analingus one day a week