To cry or not cry

[Anonymous]

I used to pick a CD or a few songs to cry to. In general I would say cry til you're done, but if you can't, try a limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you have the opportunity to go and flat out sob and you're comfortable with it (I,e, you said you had off today) - do it. I agree with pp - it doesn't have to be an either or thing. There have been times where I just needed to be by myself. I'd put on TV or an audiobook or music and kept my hands busy, but if I felt like sobbing while doing dishes, so be it (although for the record, put the dishes down if you feel you may drop them...having to clean up broken glass after a crying jag suck!)

I never found that crying lead to more crying unless I needed it. I also don't know if crying helped me keep it together in the ling run. I just know that crying at that specific point in time helped, so now I"m recommending that to you!

Sending hugs to you regardless of what you are doing.

+1.

I find that sometimes if I suppress tears when they are trying to come, that tension just stays there and builds and later the tears will not come; I just get tense and irritable. Crying helps me release the tension. I say cry if you can.

So sorry for whatever you are going through. Be extra gentle with yourself.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely cry. If you can take some space and let yourself do it, so much the better. Worse when you bottle it up.

Then make a cup of tea, eat some chocolate with you, and get on with all the practical aspects of it.

I am sorry.

[Anonymous]

Cry. Just don't let anyone else see you do it unless you trust that you can be vulnerable with them. I hope you feel better soon.

[Anonymous]

I don't think there's any one answer that holds for everyone, OP. You just have to know yourself. For example, I know that for about 5-10 minutes after I cry my brain is just OFF. I can't really talk or interact with people. I learned this when in therapy (hence, crying a lot, but in the context of a conversation). So if that's going to be a problem I try and avoid crying. If you're going to be crying a lot, try it both ways and see what your reactions are afterwards.

humans are not steam engines. The "bottle it up or you'll explode" metaphors are only metaphors. People are different. Whatever you do is OK.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do both. Allow yourself some time to fall apart and then go be productive. Then let yourself fall apart again if need be.

You can even schedule it. I will give myself 15 minutes at 4pm to go get it all out. THen I'll come back and finish this project...

Yes this. Or perhaps let it all out at the end of the day, when you're finished with work. I find I need to hold it together at work because the second I crack I have a hard time recovering. I let it all out at home. This has worked for me with miscarriages and two very stressful shootings (yes, I have been closely connected to TWO!) and the death of a good friend (not by shooting, but still very sudden).

[Anonymous]

If you don't feel the feeling, it will manifest in a different - perhaps harmful or disruptive - way. Sit with your grief. If tears come, that is what you need to experience. They will subside at some point. I'm sorry for what you're experiencing, OP.

[Anonymous]

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/505186.page

[Anonymous]

Oh my god, OP. You need serious help. You shouldn't be a nanny if you can't handle this.

[Anonymous]

I vote cry.

Crying is a very healthy release for you in dealing w/grief of any sort.

[Anonymous]

Jeff confirmed that OP is troll.

[Anonymous]

Laughter and tears are both responses to frustration and exhaustion. I myself prefer to laugh, since there is less cleaning up to do afterward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While I don't know what you're going through, I do suggest crying (if you really can) since you have more stuff coming up.

I was in a grief support "group" (counseling) after my mother died. During part of that, we had to do a timeline of loss during our lives. "Loss" was defined as anything that was a "loss" - loss of a job (either voluntarily or not), move, loss of friends, end of marriage/relationship, and loss of friend/family/pet through death.

Our counselors said that if we can't fully grieve a loss, it builds over time and is still with you for the subsequent losses.

That isn't to say you should go around a sobbing mess. Staying busy is very helpful for our emotional health. But don't ignore emotions of sadness or loss.

Brilliant advice. Not OP but thank you.

You are welcome. I hate hearing that this thread was started by a troll, but at least someone benefited from it.

[Anonymous]

Crying is very healthy. It's a stress release and 90% of people feel better after crying.