Outside of paying for things, how goes your Executive husband contribute to the household? SAHM que

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Why are you arguing this? Are you pp? She explained it right above you. You're ridiculously defensive. - NP

I'm obviously not pp. I'm arguing because pointless trolling annoys me.

[Anonymous]

Let's just say if I were to brag about my husband, you all would want him. Not a joke. The man is amazing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Why are you arguing this? Are you pp? She explained it right above you. You're ridiculously defensive. - NP

I'm obviously not pp. I'm arguing because pointless trolling annoys me.

Disagreeing doesn't equal trolling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

The thing is, I don't care really and he enjoys doing it all so I rarely touch it. He always keeps me informed and answers any questions and make changes if feel something is wrong/missing. So in that regard I guess you could say we’re BOTH in control, he just does all the heavy lifting ?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

Eh - we do something similar. DH manages the main checking and savings account and pays off our monthly credit card bill and makes the mortgage payment from that. I handle all the day to day bills - cell phone, cable, pepco, etc. from a monthly amount we transfer. He doesn't want handle the little nagging bills. I absolutely have access to the main account but I almost never need to access it. I think it depends on what works for people. You can call it an allowance if it makes you feel better, but since I only work part-time it's necessary to pay the bills.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Why are you arguing this? Are you pp? She explained it right above you. You're ridiculously defensive. - NP

I'm obviously not pp. I'm arguing because pointless trolling annoys me.

Disagreeing doesn't equal trolling.

It does in this case. What you disagree with (I bolded it above) is not related to the issue being discussed (see thread title). You just wanted to get on your high horse about how other people live, you didn't want to contribute to the thread's topic. I'm sure to you it just feels like disagreement, but tell me, which part of this definition doesn't apply to your "allowance" post?

In Internet slang, a troll (/?tro?l/, /?tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

[Anonymous]

I handle all finances and money. I handle all organizing of child care (classes, babysitter, schools, camps, etc). I make all doctor's appointments but Dh does 50/50 of the actual appointments, as he does with all other childcare. He does all grocery shopping. I do most cooking. We outsource cleaning and lawn, though I do the household organization.

we both work f/t though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
H handles all finances. We have a budget of the amount I can use each month on shopping/ hair appointments etc.
Work around house- weekly cleaner
Kids homework- husband
Cooking- all me

Works great for us.

So you have an allowance like a child?

An adult sets an allowance amount for a child. PP clearly said "WE have a budget" for her expenses, meaning she has some control in setting the amount.

If you want to diss the SAH choice how about you start your own thread?

He controls all finances.
She has a set amount.
Methinks she doesn't have much say.

I have no idea how people live this way and consider themselves equals. Not a SAHM "diss" (as you so maturely put it) at all - I'm well aware that not all SAHMs live this way.

How do you go from "handles" to "controls"?

Really, there is a very long recent thread on this just for you and those with similar confusion.

Why are you arguing this? Are you pp? She explained it right above you. You're ridiculously defensive. - NP

I'm obviously not pp. I'm arguing because pointless trolling annoys me.

Disagreeing doesn't equal trolling.

It does in this case. What you disagree with (I bolded it above) is not related to the issue being discussed (see thread title). You just wanted to get on your high horse about how other people live, you didn't want to contribute to the thread's topic. I'm sure to you it just feels like disagreement, but tell me, which part of this definition doesn't apply to your "allowance" post?

In Internet slang, a troll (/?tro?l/, /?tr?l/) is a person who sows discord on the Internet by starting arguments or upsetting people, by posting inflammatory,[1] extraneous, or off-topic messages in an online community (such as a newsgroup, forum, chat room, or blog) with the deliberate intent of provoking readers into an emotional response[2] or of otherwise disrupting normal on-topic discussion.

I agree. The "allowance" poster was merely trying to raise a ruckus about something that wasn't even an issue, and basically managed to derail the whole thread with an unnecessary and unhelpful snarky comment that they KNEW was stupid to begin with. Budgets among adults aren't the same as an allowance and they're arguing that point simply to create upheaval where none existed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He is a dick and uninterested in parenting.

--wohm with sahd. I take kids when I get home for most of evening, we share most duties, he's solely responsible for food/dishes.

+1

SAHD here. Your CFO husband sucks. My wife has a demanding job and she is very present at home.

[Anonymous]

Cleaning and cooking - all me.
Childcare on weekdays - all me except my husband puts my younger one to bed, then plays xbox with other one.
Any kid related appointments - me.
Weekends childcare - 75% me, 25% him.

[Anonymous]

My DH rocks. He does lawn care, garbage cans, minor home repairs, all bills and investments. He also helps with homework, playing with the kids, and bedtime if he's home.

I still handle all the laundry, all the shopping (food, clothes, gifts, target, Home Depot, etc.), 95% of the food prep, and 80% of the dishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH rocks. He does lawn care, garbage cans, minor home repairs, all bills and investments. He also helps with homework, playing with the kids, and bedtime if he's home.

I still handle all the laundry, all the shopping (food, clothes, gifts, target, Home Depot, etc.), 95% of the food prep, and 80% of the dishes.

I'm the quoted PP. I do not have any sort of budget or allowance whatsoever. We discuss major things like cars, trips, major home improvements. I am a reasonable shopper and my husband has never needed to give me a "budget."

[Anonymous]

My husband does a lot.

He takes care of all the finances, will grocery shop if I need him to, he takes kids to practices, he goes to all their games, he volunteers, he takes care of the lawn (he likes to do it even though we can afford to have someone else do it), he held with bedtime, he does laundry, you name it.

We're a team. Just because he makes 6x more than I do he doesn't act like an ass about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH rocks. He does lawn care, garbage cans, minor home repairs, all bills and investments. He also helps with homework, playing with the kids, and bedtime if he's home.

I still handle all the laundry, all the shopping (food, clothes, gifts, target, Home Depot, etc.), 95% of the food prep, and 80% of the dishes.

Sounds like us. DH is very involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Handling finances. Work around house, kids homework, childcare, diaper change, housework, calling vendors, anything?' My CFO things he doesn't have to contribute anything. Kids need both parents input on homework and responsibilities. He says blah.

I think that both parents need to be fully involved in parenting, but if he's working long hours and you're staying at home, I kind of agree that things like housework and logistics are on you. You're the one who's home during the day and around to handle these things.