| You'll only be walking on eggshells the rest of your life. Take it from me. I'm sitting next to a guy who not only gives ME the silent treatment but who also refused to talk to our loving, affectionate 2 year old today. Don't believe if he says he's going to change. Believe only what he does. Don't live like this. |
Absolutely this could be something that changes with communication. There is a 0.00000001% chance that talking to him about this will result in change.
Seriously, this is an entrenched part of his personality. Even if he saw this as a problem and desperately wanted to change it, it would be extremely hard to do so. The odds are that he doesn't even see it as a problem, and thus sees no need to change. Any attempts on your part to convince him to change are likely to be seen as "nagging" and will likely be ineffective. Don't try to change him. Accept him as is, or move on. You are right at the point in a relationship where people start to show their true colors. Pay attention to what he is showing you - this is the real him. |
J. |
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This is not healthy behavior. Please believe me when I say that you will NOT be able to change him. Gather up your courage and tell him this relationship is not going to work out. He will try to convince you it can work. Do not be fooled, otherwise you will start a vicious cycle. And whatever you do (because I know you're not going to take my word for it) do NOT have kids with him. |
Because he lives pretty close by and even though we are sleeping together in the figurative sense, I am not ready to sleep with him in the literal sense.
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| What the hell are you saying to him? Why doesn't he spend the night? |
But then I am walking on eggshells around him all the time, it is impossible for me to know when something will offend him or not. And I shouldn't have to censor/filter everything I say just because I don't want to anger him. |
And you're proud of this? He's using you. |
| You have issues op. See a therapist asap. |
I find he is rude to people when we go out in public together and that it makes me look bad as well. For instance, we were at the movies and not in aisle seats. A few people had to use the restroom during the flick and had to walk by us. They were polite, said, "Excuse me..." then tried to get by. He sighed annoyingly and refused to move his legs. Also another time at the movies, the people in front of us were talking, thus disturbing HIM. I personally didn't hear any talking, but I could have been engrossed in the movie too much. Anyhow, instead of tapping the people on the shoulder and mentioning to them that they were bothering him with their chatting, he instead forcefully kicked the back of their chairs really hard, thus angering them. Can't say I blame them. When I tell him that he should be more kind to people, he takes it way too personally. |
So true PP. |
That is annoying. You can't live like that. No one should live like that. Out of curiousity - what exactly have you said that made him walk away? |
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This is who we're working with, people...
http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/467485.page#6867417 She doesn't want help. |
And here http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/464853.page |
Huh. That's odd - he's at your house every night, you're sleeping together but you're not ready to let him sleep over? I don't really understand that. |