Who's right? (especially if you / your spouse is a serious athlete)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How old are your kids? If they are school aged, I'd just leave them sleeping during his run.

If he's a serious marathoner and it's his weekly long run he's probably gone for a good three hours, and potentially pretty far away. I doubt he's running 20 miles round and round the block.

[Anonymous]

Your spouse sounds crazy selfish.

[Anonymous]

What's your family's budget like?

There are plenty of people who spend thousands on hobbies and activities. He's got a hobby that keeps him healthy, doesn't interfere with his ability to earn a living, and is scheduled conveniently for your family most of the time. Plus, it's relatively inexpensive.

If you've got the money in your budget, then $150 once to keep up his momentum as he trains for a race seems entirely reasonable. If your budget is very tight, then that's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can't miss ONE run? He should do his long run Friday maybe? Sounds obsessive

If you are serious about fitness or a sport, then no. Do not make him skip his run.

However I don't see why Op and husband can't get a babysitter.

[Anonymous]

I'm a rower and I find it hard to skip a morning practice. I don't like to do that. But it's good for me to do that now and then. I understand your dh's feeling that he has to have his training run but it would be good for him to learn some flexibility and realize that he can afford to miss a run now and then.

That said, probably the best thing would be to find a baby sitter. That way you don't have to deal with him whining about his training run because I suspect he is not going to see your point of view.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that it doesn't matter who is right, but that you need to find an alternative that works for both of you. You say you want to go on a trip. He says fine, great, go. You say here are my flights. He says, well I can cancel my Sunday workout, but could you leave later so that I can run on Saturday. You say no. Just no. Why don't you say, instead, how about if I keep my flight but find you a sitter for either Saturday or Sunday morning so you can get a run in while I'm gone? Honestly, this doesn't sound like such a huge issue that can't be resolved if you look for solutions.

OP here - to answer pp's question they're too young to be left alone (preschooler and toddler).

The sitter idea works, but I think he'd have to compromise the time. He usually leaves to run between 5-6am. I guess I could try to get a sitter one morning to come at 7 and have him leave then - I'm going to propose that.

[Anonymous]

OP again - money isn't a HUGE issue but it does seem a bit nuts to me to sacrifice $150 over this.

[Anonymous]

When is the next marathon?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it doesn't matter who is right, but that you need to find an alternative that works for both of you. You say you want to go on a trip. He says fine, great, go. You say here are my flights. He says, well I can cancel my Sunday workout, but could you leave later so that I can run on Saturday. You say no. Just no. Why don't you say, instead, how about if I keep my flight but find you a sitter for either Saturday or Sunday morning so you can get a run in while I'm gone? Honestly, this doesn't sound like such a huge issue that can't be resolved if you look for solutions.

OP here - to answer pp's question they're too young to be left alone (preschooler and toddler).

The sitter idea works, but I think he'd have to compromise the time. He usually leaves to run between 5-6am. I guess I could try to get a sitter one morning to come at 7 and have him leave then - I'm going to propose that.

My guess is that he likes to run early to beat the heat. But yeah I think running later and getting a sitter is a good compromise.

[Anonymous]

Tell your DH to suck it up, buttercup! He's inconsiderate!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He can't miss ONE run? He should do his long run Friday maybe? Sounds obsessive

If someone is serious (and it sounds like he is) then routine and schedules can be very important. Deviating from them is asking for injury, in many cases.

I agree with the idea that while $150 seems like a waste for an alternate flight, it's not that much to put into a serious athletic pursuit, which is really what they'd be doing. And it sounds like the guy routinely travels to races, so I'm guessing that they're not scrambling for pennies.

Somewhere in there there's a solution that will work for both of them. This shouldn't be cause for any dust ups.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think that it doesn't matter who is right, but that you need to find an alternative that works for both of you. You say you want to go on a trip. He says fine, great, go. You say here are my flights. He says, well I can cancel my Sunday workout, but could you leave later so that I can run on Saturday. You say no. Just no. Why don't you say, instead, how about if I keep my flight but find you a sitter for either Saturday or Sunday morning so you can get a run in while I'm gone? Honestly, this doesn't sound like such a huge issue that can't be resolved if you look for solutions.

OP here - to answer pp's question they're too young to be left alone (preschooler and toddler).

The sitter idea works, but I think he'd have to compromise the time. He usually leaves to run between 5-6am. I guess I could try to get a sitter one morning to come at 7 and have him leave then - I'm going to propose that.

OP, I think that sounds great. I think some of the responders to this thread are forgetting that your husband already did give up one run or day of exercise, so he's not thoughtless - or at least not totally thoughtless. Now, if he won't agree to moving the time of his run, my opinion may be different. Also, I haven't had trouble finding early babysitters, FWIW.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a rower and I find it hard to skip a morning practice. I don't like to do that. But it's good for me to do that now and then. I understand your dh's feeling that he has to have his training run but it would be good for him to learn some flexibility and realize that he can afford to miss a run now and then.

That said, probably the best thing would be to find a baby sitter. That way you don't have to deal with him whining about his training run because I suspect he is not going to see your point of view.

But he's already missing his Sunday run, and this would mean that he's going 12 days without a long run, and missing two consecutive days. That's different from missing a run now and then.

OP, if the issue is the time with your nephew (which I think is totally reasonable for you to want), could you find a teenage babysitter to spend the night and then be there for your kids in the a.m.?

Alternately, could he take a few hours of leave and do a long run on Friday?

If the issue is that $150, I think it's reasonable for a member of a couple to take $150 to spend on something this important to them, and I say that as someone who doesn't run.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can he run on Friday night instead? Or on Sunday, when you return?

I am on your side for a variety of reasons, not the least of which being that missing one or two runs is not going to make or break someone who has run 13-14 marathons.

+1 as a marathon runner, I make adjustments to Fridays or Mondays for my weekend long runs when they can't fit within the family activities.

[Anonymous]

Unless this is your husband's job, which I gather it is not, then he's being selfish. It's a hobby (and never mind one I find rather silly) and he can put it on hold for your trip. He can hire a sitter if he wants. He's being ridiculous.