Who's right? (especially if you / your spouse is a serious athlete)

[Anonymous]

Get a baby sitter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Get a baby sitter.

Also, don't make this a right/wrong issue, in general in marriage it is not about being right and wrong. There is an issue and multiple solutions. Pick the best one for everybody... not just him... everybody.

[Anonymous]

OP with an update: he said to just book the flight. I do think that I'll offer to get a babysitter (we have relationships with taechers at the kids' daycare who do this kind of thing) and see if he's up for it. As a pp said the jogging stroller wouldn't fly - he runs for time and also the older kid is getting too big for it. Thx for all the thoughts!

[Anonymous]

I'd get an overnight sitter.

[Anonymous]

The cost of a sitter would be less than $150. Also it could be done Friday. He's already given up one run for you and he is a fairly serious weekend warrior -- and by your admission he hasn't been a complete ass about it over the day to day.

[Anonymous]

I am an ex-elite athlete that holds titles, and this issue will come up over and over. OP, it is well worth seeing a therapist to facilitate the two of you discussing this.

What I have learned in therapy:

1. My spouse gets that sport/fitness gives me my mojo and it is one of the qualities he likes about me. He wants to support me.

2. Once I retired from competition, my training /workout schedule was not a necessity, rather a hobby, and needed to be treated as such when making financial and family life decisions.

3. He has accommodated me, A LOT, over the years, and if he has a specific request (like yours) I need to graciously grant his request, and find a babysitter, skip a workout whatever. It is not up to him, to figure out how to make it all happen.

And for all the people telling OP to take the other flight, one workout is not going to make or break her husband's fitness goals-- give me a break!!!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get him a babysitter.

How about let HIM arrange a babysitter?

Now you're just asking too much goddamit

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am an ex-elite athlete that holds titles, and this issue will come up over and over. OP, it is well worth seeing a therapist to facilitate the two of you discussing this.

What I have learned in therapy:

1. My spouse gets that sport/fitness gives me my mojo and it is one of the qualities he likes about me. He wants to support me.

2. Once I retired from competition, my training /workout schedule was not a necessity, rather a hobby, and needed to be treated as such when making financial and family life decisions.

3. He has accommodated me, A LOT, over the years, and if he has a specific request (like yours) I need to graciously grant his request, and find a babysitter, skip a workout whatever. It is not up to him, to figure out how to make it all happen.

And for all the people telling OP to take the other flight, one workout is not going to make or break her husband's fitness goals-- give me a break!!!!!!

I am shocked that you have a home life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here - to answer what's come up so far. He only runs in the morning and always has (I'm sure other runners can weigh in on the rationale?) I'd be up for getting a babysitter, but I can't really ask someone to come at 6am when he'd want to leave, I don't think?

Of course you can. I had a sitter that came in and helped me at 5:30 am so I could more easily make it to an super-early morning event. (Single mom - no other hands to help.)

It'll be a lot cheaper than the additional flight money.

[Anonymous]

I'm glad your husband relented and told you to book the flight. He was being totally selfish by making it an issue in the first place.

I know a few extreme runners who seem to substitute running for therapy and anti-depressants. News flash -- you are running from something!

[Anonymous]

Really? Your husband is not getting paid to run. It's a hobby. So he misses a workout... Tough shit. If he really want to run, get up a 2 or 3 am and run. My god no one will care about his time on his 14th marathon. At his level, he will most like see no difference in his time.