I want to quit my job (or get transferred) and move my family to London/Paris

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should wait until your next life and do it. Oh, wait, she's unilaterally vetoing (for pretty vague reasons) you doing something pretty extraordinary with the only life you get. But, hey, you're the selfish one.

+1

[Anonymous]

Saw a news segment on this topic not too long ago and was intrigued because I had never thought about this side of working abroad before...

Apparently more and more companies are investing in Expat re-integration therapy as part of their re-location packages because many families struggle psychologically with the moves. The long-and-short summary is that many Expats feel lost (and depressed) because they don't "fit in" anywhere. They are outsiders when abroad, and when they come home, they realize it isn't the same exact place that they left.

Not trying to dissuade you, but I thought it was pretty interesting.

http://rendezvous.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/03/21/the-dark-side-of-the-expat-life/?_r=0

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds wonderful to me!

Plus 1

[Anonymous]

go and she can stay.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should wait until your next life and do it. Oh, wait, she's unilaterally vetoing (for pretty vague reasons) you doing something pretty extraordinary with the only life you get. But, hey, you're the selfish one.

Hmmm...OP doesn't actually have a job offer in London or Paris. Does OP or his wife actually speak French? Is it too difficult to contemplate that once you have two grandchildren that making a cross-Atlantic move could actually pretty daunting? What about visits from family?

A marriage needs to based on compromise.

[Anonymous]

I would totally go for this if I were your wife but here is the rub. You probably work a lot and she deals with everything on the home front right? Like she will be the one grocery shopping, and setting up the phone and cable, and waiting for repairmen? And doing the laundry in crappy European washers? I loved living in Europe but honestly in many ways the standard of living is much lower and it will impact her more since that will be more her problem. Customer service is awful, appliances suck etc. so if she isn't into it, you maybe shouldn't push it.

[Anonymous]

Revolutionary Road

[Anonymous]

Parisian here, who sent her child to an international private school in Paris for a while.

OP, what you should know first is that COL is astronomically higher in Paris and London than here. Are you sure your new salary would be commensurate with it? It absolutely sucks to be poor in London and Paris, I promise you!

Pollution is bad, traffic is worse. There isn't that Anglo-Saxon culture of extra-curriculars and sports in Paris, they're a little more intellectual over there, but if your kids are preschool-aged and you're not staying long, this might not matter to you.

You can get a small but centrally located apartment that costs the earth and is next to one of the big parks in a good arrondissement, and you'll have plenty of wealthy English-speaking company and the full Parisian experience.

You can get a cute house in the pleasant Western suburbs with some English neighbors and it will cost less but the commute into Paris will be ruthless. Paris won't be at your doorstep every evening for a stroll.

For your wife, there is a DCUM equivalent for English Mums living in France - and I'm sorry, I can't recall the name! Google around, she'll be able to ask all kinds of questions about the expat life there.

My opinion is - if you're doing this for yourself, do it sooner rather than later, because school isn't such a big deal. The best Montessori schools are on wait-lists, but EIB (my son's school) and other international privates always have a few spots left for families who come and go during the year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm highly educated and would probably have no problem finding a job with a large American or European investment bank. I've always wanted to live somewhere else besides the the NY-DC corridor and at 35 with 2 kids (4 & 1) I finally am ready to say "F**k it, it's now or never." Hell even if for a few years and move back. I just spent 3 weeks during an EMEA tour for work and it's an experience everyone should have. Now here is the rub. My wife hates the idea. Will do a week in Spain for holiday or in Paris but she'll never live there. "I'm just an American gal" she says. If I don't do this, I will resent her for the rest of my life.

just like that, huh? being highly educated hardly makes it easy to find a job abroad.

[Anonymous]

Have you seen 'Revolutionary Road'?

[Anonymous]

As an American woman who has been married to a Frenchman for 20 years and lived both there and here, I laugh my head off at OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would totally go for this if I were your wife but here is the rub. You probably work a lot and she deals with everything on the home front right? Like she will be the one grocery shopping, and setting up the phone and cable, and waiting for repairmen? And doing the laundry in crappy European washers? I loved living in Europe but honestly in many ways the standard of living is much lower and it will impact her more since that will be more her problem. Customer service is awful, appliances suck etc. so if she isn't into it, you maybe shouldn't push it.

And don't forget the crap internet service in Europe. It is soooo slow like the freaking dark ages. In Italy right now on vacation. If I had a choice, I'll move to Asia, Shanghai, Tokyo, Seoul, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm highly educated and would probably have no problem finding a job with a large American or European investment bank. I've always wanted to live somewhere else besides the the NY-DC corridor and at 35 with 2 kids (4 & 1) I finally am ready to say "F**k it, it's now or never." Hell even if for a few years and move back. I just spent 3 weeks during an EMEA tour for work and it's an experience everyone should have. Now here is the rub. My wife hates the idea. Will do a week in Spain for holiday or in Paris but she'll never live there. "I'm just an American gal" she says. If I don't do this, I will resent her for the rest of my life.

Sorry, you sound like a troll. No one expects to get an investment bank job in a different continent because "I'm highly educated."

If the post is real, my advice would be to not do it. You wouldn't survive six months.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As an American woman who has been married to a Frenchman for 20 years and lived both there and here, I laugh my head off at OP.

Because having a desire in life, setting the goal and going for it is so laughable, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As an American woman who has been married to a Frenchman for 20 years and lived both there and here, I laugh my head off at OP.

Because having a desire in life, setting the goal and going for it is so laughable, right?

Exactly. Speaking about which, I am considering becoming an astronaut next month (I am very fit, and highly educated), but my DH sounds skeptical. He says it is yet another excuse not to have sex.

Tips, anyone?