I turned sixty and seem to have become invisible.

[Anonymous]

OP you sound needy. Seriously, people commented on you lip stick shade? You sound vain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always been an attractive woman and people often commented on my looks especially on my face. In my younger years, if I changed my lipstick by one shade friends and co-workers would notice. Last week I got about four inches cut off of my hair - went from a long bob to a short bob - and not one person even mentioned I got my hair cut.

I've been feeling invisible in other areas, too. A couple months ago a young (30 something) neighbor told me laughingly that her father (around my age) thought I was beautiful. She said it as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

Does a woman in her later years simply become invisible to younger people? (Although with the hair cut, even women my own age didn't notice.)

OP, are you sure she thought it was absurd that her father would consider you beautiful? Or maybe she was laughing at her father having a crush on you. Of course, I wasn't there but I think I would have assumed the latter -- that she was laughing at her father, not you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strive to be invisible. It was hell being young and beautiful.

Growing old is great. Once you embrace it, you feel a sense of calm, comfortable in one's skin.

Finally !

Fight it and you're going to be disappointed.

Plus you can dress weird and nobody will blink and eye at you.

+1. Now that I am in my fifties, I feel that I can really be myself. My DH and DS have never preferred me with makeup so most days, I put on a bit of lip gloss and am on my way. I love how the millenials feel free to do cosplay, play the latest edition of whatever game they liked when they were kids, and speak out against whatever they find unjust. There are less rules nowadays so why not just be yourself? I dress up when I need to but the rest of the time, it's brush my hair, throw on jeans and a comfortable top. If I need help at a store, I go find someone and ask for it.

[Anonymous]

I have found it to be the opposite. I was always invisible before and since I turned 50, I am getting much more notice. I am nearly completely gray too. Perhaps, I have finally "grown into my beauty".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hope I'm beyond defining myself by my looks by the time I'm 60, but it must be hard. My next door neighbor and mother in law both still do and I think it is very hard on them. 60 just can't compete with 20 or 30.

At 40, I'm trying to not think about what others think of my looks. But it's hard.

+1. I actually think i look better at 49 than I did at 29, but that's probably not true--I just feel better about myself. I don't need approval from others. My god, blissful.

[Anonymous]

I'm 35, and I have to admit I don't really see my mom or my MIL in terms of their looks. I barely notice what they are wearing. They are just "older" in my mind. I also find it a little odd when they worry about their hair or clothing. Looking put together, clean and neat is great once you're over 50 I think.

In some ways it's a good thing. When I meet women my age I do spend a millisecond thinking about their appearance, and with older women I am more interested in WHO they are and what they have to say, than what they look like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, and I have to admit I don't really see my mom or my MIL in terms of their looks. I barely notice what they are wearing. They are just "older" in my mind. I also find it a little odd when they worry about their hair or clothing. Looking put together, clean and neat is great once you're over 50 I think.

In some ways it's a good thing. When I meet women my age I do spend a millisecond thinking about their appearance, and with older women I am more interested in WHO they are and what they have to say, than what they look like.

+1 and I'm 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, and I have to admit I don't really see my mom or my MIL in terms of their looks. I barely notice what they are wearing. They are just "older" in my mind. I also find it a little odd when they worry about their hair or clothing. Looking put together, clean and neat is great once you're over 50 I think.

In some ways it's a good thing. When I meet women my age I do spend a millisecond thinking about their appearance, and with older women I am more interested in WHO they are and what they have to say, than what they look like.

My DD said the same thing about women over 30. Guess it's all relative.

[Anonymous]

Well, I feel bad for you OP, but i have never been a looker and have been invisible since I was 30-ish. I am afraid I feel sorry for you as much as I feel sorry for women who's big boobs sag: well, at least you are not totally flat chested!! Be glad for what you have had.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I feel bad for you OP, but i have never been a looker and have been invisible since I was 30-ish. I am afraid I feel sorry for you as much as I feel sorry for women who's big boobs sag: well, at least you are not totally flat chested!! Be glad for what you have had.

I'll trade you my big boobs for your flat chest any day of the week. The back pain is excruciating.

[Anonymous]

Women are generally less visible than men. Older women are completely invisible to everyone.


Unless you turn into an Auntie Mame character and wear a big red hat with a purple dress! This is what I intend to do!

[Anonymous]

Your neighbor was rude and insensitive. I would avoid her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've always been an attractive woman and people often commented on my looks especially on my face. In my younger years, if I changed my lipstick by one shade friends and co-workers would notice. Last week I got about four inches cut off of my hair - went from a long bob to a short bob - and not one person even mentioned I got my hair cut.

I've been feeling invisible in other areas, too. A couple months ago a young (30 something) neighbor told me laughingly that her father (around my age) thought I was beautiful. She said it as if it was the most ridiculous thing she had ever heard.

Does a woman in her later years simply become invisible to younger people? (Although with the hair cut, even women my own age didn't notice.)

If you weren't invisible at 59 (or 41, for that matter), you're way ahead of the game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, and I have to admit I don't really see my mom or my MIL in terms of their looks. I barely notice what they are wearing. They are just "older" in my mind. I also find it a little odd when they worry about their hair or clothing. Looking put together, clean and neat is great once you're over 50 I think.

In some ways it's a good thing. When I meet women my age I do spend a millisecond thinking about their appearance, and with older women I am more interested in WHO they are and what they have to say, than what they look like.

Once again DCUM puts it better than anyone. Just a bit patronizing PP? Really you are hardly human once you are over 40.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 35, and I have to admit I don't really see my mom or my MIL in terms of their looks. I barely notice what they are wearing. They are just "older" in my mind. I also find it a little odd when they worry about their hair or clothing. Looking put together, clean and neat is great once you're over 50 I think.

In some ways it's a good thing. When I meet women my age I do spend a millisecond thinking about their appearance, and with older women I am more interested in WHO they are and what they have to say, than what they look like.

Once again DCUM puts it better than anyone. Just a bit patronizing PP? Really you are hardly human once you are over 40.

I'm turning 50 this summer. The men who look at me now are 55 or 60. That's appropriate.