I turned sixty and seem to have become invisible.

[Anonymous]

I'm surprised that people are experiencing this in restaurants - the places I go are so customer service oriented, like Gordon Biersch, etc - not once have I felt invisible. And I shop in places like Ann Taylor so I don't feel it there, either. Maybe if I was going to J Crew or American Apparel, or more trendy places? But I dont, so I my daily life isn't hasn't been an issue. And I'm someone who used to turn heads, and don't anymore (at least, not young heads).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50today is different than 50 when I wasxa kid, though. And so many of us have young kids.

At 49, I have an 11 and 7 yo.

Wait until you're 60. You'll probably be invisible too.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my later fifties with teens. I keep myself trim, color my hair, etc., but yes I am am invisible even when I am ready to spend major bucks. I am not looking for cat calls (always hated that). I just want to be served promptly and politely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strive to be invisible. It was hell being young and beautiful.

Growing old is great. Once you embrace it, you feel a sense of calm, comfortable in one's skin.

Finally !

Fight it and you're going to be disappointed.

Plus you can dress weird and nobody will blink and eye at you.

+5,000

[Anonymous]

I'm only 35, but, who the fuck cares about how anyone looks? I presume you're married? Why were you using your looks for so long without developing any other social skills?

Maybe it's because I'm a total nerd, but I've always, always dressed way down and relied on my personality or intelligence rather than my looks. When I dress up I feel that I get the wrong sort of attention (I've got a great figure, boobs are a 10, face is pretty). I would rather be invisible than have people treating me a certain way because of my looks.

But lucky thing, people don't treat me as invisible even though I never wear heels, revealing outfits, or makeup. Probably because I am nice and I smile. I pay attention, am direct and funny, and that (gasp) seems to be enough for most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and still don't understand what it means to be invisible. Can someone provide some specific examples?

A 30 year old shoe sales person is gossiping away with another thirty year old. No shoes are getting sold or even being tried on, although there is a heap of shoes surrounding the thirty year old customer. Finally, you interrupt and the sales woman blows you off and keeps on gossiping. You complain and then find another sales person and proceed to buy two pairs of shoes. It gets old.

Are you sure that's because you're older? Maybe they just give bad service to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm only 35, but, who the fuck cares about how anyone looks? I presume you're married? Why were you using your looks for so long without developing any other social skills?

Maybe it's because I'm a total nerd, but I've always, always dressed way down and relied on my personality or intelligence rather than my looks. When I dress up I feel that I get the wrong sort of attention (I've got a great figure, boobs are a 10, face is pretty). I would rather be invisible than have people treating me a certain way because of my looks.

But lucky thing, people don't treat me as invisible even though I never wear heels, revealing outfits, or makeup. Probably because I am nice and I smile. I pay attention, am direct and funny, and that (gasp) seems to be enough for most people.

You're 35. Do you already compare yourself to a 60 year old simply because you don't wear heels and dress very often? Surely you jest.

35 is not 50 and it sure as heck is not 60 - I don't care what you're wearing. I do agree with you that looks are secondary to a great personality though.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and still don't understand what it means to be invisible. Can someone provide some specific examples?

A 30 year old shoe sales person is gossiping away with another thirty year old. No shoes are getting sold or even being tried on, although there is a heap of shoes surrounding the thirty year old customer. Finally, you interrupt and the sales woman blows you off and keeps on gossiping. You complain and then find another sales person and proceed to buy two pairs of shoes. It gets old.

Are you sure that's because you're older? Maybe they just give bad service to everyone.

I ran into this in Sephora recently. There were a couple of 20 something shoppers in the store and the clerk was falling all over herself helping them - showing them this, giving them samples of that. That's o.k. I could wait until the clerk was done with them. Well those shoppers (who didn't actually buy anything, just got samples) finished up and left...and that sales lady could not even be bothered to look my way. I got the impression that she was deliberately ignoring me. Why? I've never run into that in Sephora before - ever. It was very strange. I did wonder at the time if that clerk was ignoring me because I'm obviously well over 35.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:50today is different than 50 when I wasxa kid, though. And so many of us have young kids.

At 49, I have an 11 and 7 yo.

Wait until you're 60. You'll probably be invisible too.

I'm invisible now; don't get me wrong.

But I honestly have no time to think about it with young kids and a job. Being distracted certainly helps!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and still don't understand what it means to be invisible. Can someone provide some specific examples?

A 30 year old shoe sales person is gossiping away with another thirty year old. No shoes are getting sold or even being tried on, although there is a heap of shoes surrounding the thirty year old customer. Finally, you interrupt and the sales woman blows you off and keeps on gossiping. You complain and then find another sales person and proceed to buy two pairs of shoes. It gets old.

Are you sure that's because you're older? Maybe they just give bad service to everyone.

I ran into this in Sephora recently. There were a couple of 20 something shoppers in the store and the clerk was falling all over herself helping them - showing them this, giving them samples of that. That's o.k. I could wait until the clerk was done with them. Well those shoppers (who didn't actually buy anything, just got samples) finished up and left...and that sales lady could not even be bothered to look my way. I got the impression that she was deliberately ignoring me. Why? I've never run into that in Sephora before - ever. It was very strange. I did wonder at the time if that clerk was ignoring me because I'm obviously well over 35.

and lost a meaty sale, too!

What a fool!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and still don't understand what it means to be invisible. Can someone provide some specific examples?

A 30 year old shoe sales person is gossiping away with another thirty year old. No shoes are getting sold or even being tried on, although there is a heap of shoes surrounding the thirty year old customer. Finally, you interrupt and the sales woman blows you off and keeps on gossiping. You complain and then find another sales person and proceed to buy two pairs of shoes. It gets old.

Are you sure that's because you're older? Maybe they just give bad service to everyone.

I ran into this in Sephora recently. There were a couple of 20 something shoppers in the store and the clerk was falling all over herself helping them - showing them this, giving them samples of that. That's o.k. I could wait until the clerk was done with them. Well those shoppers (who didn't actually buy anything, just got samples) finished up and left...and that sales lady could not even be bothered to look my way. I got the impression that she was deliberately ignoring me. Why? I've never run into that in Sephora before - ever. It was very strange. I did wonder at the time if that clerk was ignoring me because I'm obviously well over 35.

PP here. I see what you mean. I guess this is what African Americans go through sometimes -- trying to figure out why you're being ignored, is it race, something else, or just a coincidence? Seems exhausting. Now that I think of it, I don't go shopping much at all -- so maybe I haven't noticed this because I'm not out in places like Sephora.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm 45 and still don't understand what it means to be invisible. Can someone provide some specific examples?

A 30 year old shoe sales person is gossiping away with another thirty year old. No shoes are getting sold or even being tried on, although there is a heap of shoes surrounding the thirty year old customer. Finally, you interrupt and the sales woman blows you off and keeps on gossiping. You complain and then find another sales person and proceed to buy two pairs of shoes. It gets old.

Are you sure that's because you're older? Maybe they just give bad service to everyone.

I ran into this in Sephora recently. There were a couple of 20 something shoppers in the store and the clerk was falling all over herself helping them - showing them this, giving them samples of that. That's o.k. I could wait until the clerk was done with them. Well those shoppers (who didn't actually buy anything, just got samples) finished up and left...and that sales lady could not even be bothered to look my way. I got the impression that she was deliberately ignoring me. Why? I've never run into that in Sephora before - ever. It was very strange. I did wonder at the time if that clerk was ignoring me because I'm obviously well over 35.

and lost a meaty sale, too!

What a fool!

this is the ironic part. We over-50 ladies generally have more money to spend, but they ignore us!!

[Anonymous]

Older people were/are never invisible to me; I've people-watched my whole life and have been equally interested in young and old. I've always been open to friends of all different ages, too. If someone smiles at me I'll smile back and feel that connection, no matter their age. So I can't relate because nobody is invisible to me. And I tend to gravitate toward similar people so I haven't really felt invisible yet at 44, but when I do I'm sure it will sting.

People who only "see" the young are really missing out.

[Anonymous]

I have experienced the opposite. Based on comments on this thread, apparently I have been "invisible" my whole life and I just didn't know it. However, in the past two years, something has changed and I am getting much more attention. I am 51.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm only 35, but, who the fuck cares about how anyone looks? I presume you're married? Why were you using your looks for so long without developing any other social skills?

Maybe it's because I'm a total nerd, but I've always, always dressed way down and relied on my personality or intelligence rather than my looks. When I dress up I feel that I get the wrong sort of attention (I've got a great figure, boobs are a 10, face is pretty). I would rather be invisible than have people treating me a certain way because of my looks.

But lucky thing, people don't treat me as invisible even though I never wear heels, revealing outfits, or makeup. Probably because I am nice and I smile. I pay attention, am direct and funny, and that (gasp) seems to be enough for most people.

Are you really 35? Your post reads like something a teenager would write.

Personality-wise, you probably get away with murder due to your "great figure, 10/10 boobs and pretty face."