I hate the other woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. Yes, I can hear it already ..... the issue is between you and your husband.....if you had been a better wife he wouldn't have looked elsewhere......were you putting out? ...... You married the wrong guy...... Your husband made vows to you, the OW has no obligation ..... Work on yourself .... stop focusing any energy that way ....... What issues did you bring to this situation...... Get some counseling....

I'm tired of the OW getting off the hook so easy. My marriage is finished. While I'm carrying around a 200 pound sand bag of grief, trying to put my life back together, shock, and feeling very PTSD-ish. It seems like I'm the only one paying a huge price for THEIR choices. He could have f'ing left. And she could have kept her legs together and waited for some hot single dude.

I hate my husband. I hate the other woman. So There.

I am not in your shoes but, if I were, I imagine I would feel exactly as you do. They made inconsiderate choices and you have to suffer the fallout. I don't know you but my heart goes out to you. Every time I hear of someone who has cheated, I turn to my husband and say "if you ever want to cheat, just ask for a divorce." I can't tell you how many times I have said it because I hear so many stories like yours. I would like to believe that karma takes care of people like this but who really knows. In the end.

My friend has said the same thing to her husband (who I think cheats) about if you ever want to cheat just get a divorce. Maybe I'm wrong but I think most cheaters want the stability of a marriage but the excitement of an affair.

[Anonymous]

I would feel the same way. There's a lot of self-hating women on here who are quick to blame the wife. Don't listen.

[Anonymous]

Yeah, I hate the ow in my life. She's cheated at least a dozen times before, cheated on a long term relationship to be with my spouse and abandoned her two step kids from that relationship. Soon to be ex spouse thinks she is the one and it's true love always between the two of them. Spouse is trying to convince me that this compulsive cheating ow is a "good, kind, and moral person." So our young child has one parent who is a complete dumbass, and soon a stepmom who will be out the door as soon as she sees something shiny. I know bitterness hurts kids of divorce and I will not add to my child's hurt, but the ow is a serious piece of work.

[Anonymous]

In my case, I don't actually blame OW at all. It is my ex that cheated on me. Yeah, he needed someone else to do it with -- but it wasn't her fault. It was entirely his decision to do it.

I didn't know the OW at all. I'm pretty sure that if it was someone that I knew, I'd hate her, too. I don't hate my ex anymore, but I'll never respect him again.

[Anonymous]

Been there OP. Karma does eventually take care of people like this. I have seen it.

[Anonymous]

If he does it to you, he will do it to her and cheat on her, too! I would hate her, too!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel the same way. There's a lot of self-hating women on here who are quick to blame the wife. Don't listen.

I think it's normal to hate the other woman.'I think what bothers people is when a wife gives her husband a pass and focuses on the woman. Both are horrid. In different ways.

[Anonymous]

It's fine to hate her. She's treated you really disrespectfully, as has your ex or soon to be ex. But eventually you will have to stop focusing on hating them and move on with your own life.

[Anonymous]

I imagine it's completely normal to hate the other woman. Just because he's the one who violated vows doesn't make her some sweet, innocent, unwitting party to the whole thing. Someone with character and morals doesn't get involved with a married person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. Yes, I can hear it already ..... the issue is between you and your husband.....if you had been a better wife he wouldn't have looked elsewhere......were you putting out? ...... You married the wrong guy...... Your husband made vows to you, the OW has no obligation ..... Work on yourself .... stop focusing any energy that way ....... What issues did you bring to this situation...... Get some counseling....

I'm tired of the OW getting off the hook so easy. My marriage is finished. While I'm carrying around a 200 pound sand bag of grief, trying to put my life back together, shock, and feeling very PTSD-ish. It seems like I'm the only one paying a huge price for THEIR choices. He could have f'ing left. And she could have kept her legs together and waited for some hot single dude.

I hate my husband. I hate the other woman. So There.

I am not in your shoes but, if I were, I imagine I would feel exactly as you do. They made inconsiderate choices and you have to suffer the fallout. I don't know you but my heart goes out to you. Every time I hear of someone who has cheated, I turn to my husband and say "if you ever want to cheat, just ask for a divorce." I can't tell you how many times I have said it because I hear so many stories like yours. I would like to believe that karma takes care of people like this but who really knows. In the end.

My friend has said the same thing to her husband (who I think cheats) about if you ever want to cheat just get a divorce. Maybe I'm wrong but I think most cheaters want the stability of a marriage but the excitement of an affair.

Maybe not most but a good deal of them. They love being able to have a spouse, present themselves with the kids in public as a family, but be able to have the thrill of a new person in bed. I also think that they want to avoid the stigma of divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
....
....
My friend has said the same thing to her husband (who I think cheats) about if you ever want to cheat just get a divorce. Maybe I'm wrong but I think most cheaters want the stability of a marriage but the excitement of an affair.

Maybe not most but a good deal of them. They love being able to have a spouse, present themselves with the kids in public as a family, but be able to have the thrill of a new person in bed. I also think that they want to avoid the stigma of divorce.

+1
As someone said on another thread, affairs are great because you really don't have to deal with dirty dishes, sick kids, problems at school, money issues and at the same time, there is the thrill of doing something forbidden.
Once they get together in real life on a permanent basis, it would be interesting to see how long they last.

[Anonymous]

Op, I hate her, too, on your behalf.

[Anonymous]

Pretty normal but you should hate your husband more. After all, he knows you, married you and cheated on you. She didn't.

[Anonymous]

If you have the money sue him for sport and he'll not have ready cash to make the OW's life easy. The OW will get sick of his whining and dump him.

[Anonymous]

If you have the money sue him for sport and he'll not have ready cash to make the OW's life easy. The OW will get sick of his whining and dump him.