"Engagement" ring years after the fact? Yay or nay?

[Anonymous]

I think you need to look at the big picture. DH asked you how much you wanted to spend probably because he wanted your input. Just because he isn't reading your mind perfectly shouldn't make you boiling mad.

[Anonymous]

PP here. Don't be mad with your husband op, most men are clueless and have no idea how to gift give or see the value in jewelery. Just be forthright with him and kind in telling him how you feel and work with him to come up with an appropriate budget. If you want a 5k to 10k ring, tell him. Don't leave him clueless as to why you are mad communicate and good luck!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Go pick out the ring with him. You'll be surprised how many couples do that. I did that when I was shopping with my then boyfriend for an engagement ring and you will be surprised how many couples do it together and not leave it up to chance. I discussed the price with my boyfriend and agreed on an amount to spend. Not all engagement ring is this grand surprise. So give him a budget, show him what you want then ask him to make it special like take you out to dinner.

I also got a pair of diamond earrings this holidays. The only reason I got it is because I picked it out, showed my husband, and told it I wanted it as a gift. Otherwise I would get flowers from the Grocery store or bupkiss.

I don't mind picking it out together. I think that is a good idea. I just don't want to "drag" him to a jewelry store. If he starts to look bored and get agitated, and ask me when "we'll be done" I think I will have had it and will stomp out of there, I swear. I want him to show a little more authentic joy in getting me something.

[Anonymous]

Incognita wrote:OP trying to punish your DH for this is a very bad call. You should calm down first, then have a talk and express what you have tried to express here, the sentiment of it all is important to you. Yes it's a new found desire to have it but that's how you feel. I think you should take one of the pp's advice on discussing it and choosing something together. I also believe making strict requirements that this ring must be $10k in order to prove his love to you is silly. You shouldn't be looking for him to make some financial sacrifice (bite the bullet) just for it to mean something to you.

I'm also getting the feeling that there is extrinsic motivation for the price tag, hope that's not the case...

He knows I have been mad for a few days now. I think I will calm down, and try to get my point across clearly without feeling embarrassed.

I think I am overreacting in some ways. I wish I were more mature and felt less pissy about all this.

[Anonymous]

Can you tell him that?

This reminds me of the Vince Vaughn & Jennifer Anniston scene in the movie The Breakup:

VV: you want me to do the dishes?
JA: no, I don't want you to do the dishes. I want you to want to do the dishes?
VV: why the hell would I want to do the dishes?!

[Anonymous]

Meh. A little piss never hurt anyone.

[Anonymous]

Is this a joke?

[Anonymous]

Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

After marrying a man and standing by him through thick and plenty of thin, I think I can pitch one Princess fit. Anyway, how would you go about getting your point across to some guy who has selective hearing?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

After marrying a man and standing by him through thick and plenty of thin, I think I can pitch one Princess fit. Anyway, how would you go about getting your point across to some guy who has selective hearing?

Fellatio. Or cry. Or both, just space the two acts apart.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

After marrying a man and standing by him through thick and plenty of thin, I think I can pitch one Princess fit. Anyway, how would you go about getting your point across to some guy who has selective hearing?

I bring him a picture if he's deaf and ask in sign language can we get this ? Showing another picture, what about this ? Do you like this one ? I like this one. It's so fancy but expensive. I really like that one. What do you think ?

You need to lower your price range. You start small then work your way up to the one you really want.

[Anonymous]

No don't start small! Negotiation 101. Start BIG then work your way down to what you want! He will think you're compromising.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

After marrying a man and standing by him through thick and plenty of thin, I think I can pitch one Princess fit. Anyway, how would you go about getting your point across to some guy who has selective hearing?

Fellatio. Or cry. Or both, just space the two acts apart.

This is OP. You clearly do not know my DH then. Continued fellatio will have the opposite effect, and he is going to snort and cackle if I cry over a ring. And I don't feel like crying anyway. I feel like throwing a pie at his face.

[Anonymous]

This is OP. I just want to say that I really appreciate everyone's input. I guess *wanting* a ring after all these years isn't crazy. I just have to work on my delivery and not be witchy about it. Thank you DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Pitching a Princess fit is NOT the way to go about this at all.

After marrying a man and standing by him through thick and plenty of thin, I think I can pitch one Princess fit. Anyway, how would you go about getting your point across to some guy who has selective hearing?

Fellatio. Or cry. Or both, just space the two acts apart.

This is OP. You clearly do not know my DH then. Continued fellatio will have the opposite effect, and he is going to snort and cackle if I cry over a ring. And I don't feel like crying anyway. I feel like throwing a pie at his face.

Aww. I chuckled at this. You seem very sweet OP. I'm sorry you're so angry. Vent and let it out here. know we have to teach men how to give us what we need and want. He probably will never think like you. But over time, I'll bet that he will come to understand your way of thinking.

Tell him you need some romance around this event!! And don't worry when you have the ring you want You won't be so upset that he was being "financially considerate" about it