Help me feel less bitter about my families new Christmas tradition

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this with love and understanding (and the child of rich parents)

You are missing the meaning of family and Christmas. No, I'm not religious at all - but you can find joy for your children without a 100K Christmas. Big family is still together, have a wonderful time together and bring presents. Make new traditions.

I definitely don't want a 100k Christmas. Just a simple gift exchange and a nice dinner together as a family. I want lights and decorations, not over the top but I want it to feel like a Christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You're complaining because your dad almost died and now isn't spending six figures on Christmas, which your kids won't miss because they never experienced it to begin with. Now I've heard everything on dcum.

Start your own traditions with your family. If your kids grow up and feel slighted because their grandparents didn't spend more than what most families of 4 live on over the course of a year on one ridiculous holiday, they have bigger problems.

I think y'all are being a little harsh on OP. She just wants her kids to experience the same magic she did as a kid. Nothing wrong with that. OP just remember your kid will have no idea what he/she is missing out on. Create your own traditions and those will be the same warm and fuzzy feelings they remember and pass own to their own kids one day!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time to make your own traditions at home. I can understand both sides of this. Can you do your own Christmas however you want at your home then join the family in the afternoon?

My parents live in Colorado and we fly down for a week each year. We can do it at our house but it would be way before or after.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Then you have to make it for them, OP.

I'm guessing you can't take 3 year olds to a soup kitchen. Can you strategize with your parents or a sympathetic sibling about having a family meal together either that evening or the weekend before or after Christmas for the extended family time?

They do go to the soup kitchen and have since last Christmas. We don't stay the whole time but people do like to see children there.

We are at my parents for about six days, and DH family lives out of the country. That is our Christmas. I've mentioned doing small gifts for the kids but that was met with a face that said, "nope".

So woman up and get your kids gifts! Are you the mother of your children or do your parents run the show? I'm confused about this. Are you not getting your kids gifts because your mommy and daddy said that it's not ok?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think your parents spent HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS on Christmas? Either your presents were wrapped in gold or you have no sense of money. That seems really unlikely.

That being said, your parents seem to have perspective and you should borrow some from them. Your kids are having great family memories made. It's sad you don't think so just because there isn't "hundreds of thousands of dollars" spent on presents. They have two loving (ALIVE) grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins they see at Christmas . They are lucky.

Where do you live pp? Hundreds of thousands of dollars is extremely easy to spend over even a few years. Have you ever catered a fancy party? I am going to think no...and Costco does not count.

OP said hundreds of thousands each year. Which, is....wow.

I did not say it was smart or normal But I can imagine how....crazy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You're complaining because your dad almost died and now isn't spending six figures on Christmas, which your kids won't miss because they never experienced it to begin with. Now I've heard everything on dcum.

Start your own traditions with your family. If your kids grow up and feel slighted because their grandparents didn't spend more than what most families of 4 live on over the course of a year on one ridiculous holiday, they have bigger problems.

I think y'all are being a little harsh on OP. She just wants her kids to experience the same magic she did as a kid. Nothing wrong with that. OP just remember your kid will have no idea what he/she is missing out on. Create your own traditions and those will be the same warm and fuzzy feelings they remember and pass own to their own kids one day!

I stated several times I don't want it to that extreme. I want a happy medium.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think your parents spent HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS on Christmas? Either your presents were wrapped in gold or you have no sense of money. That seems really unlikely.

That being said, your parents seem to have perspective and you should borrow some from them. Your kids are having great family memories made. It's sad you don't think so just because there isn't "hundreds of thousands of dollars" spent on presents. They have two loving (ALIVE) grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins they see at Christmas . They are lucky.

Where do you live pp? Hundreds of thousands of dollars is extremely easy to spend over even a few years. Have you ever catered a fancy party? I am going to think no...and Costco does not count.[/]

How about, when you try to be a bitch and read someone, you make sure you read the post properly first? OP said hundreds of thousands EACH christmas. Not hundreds of thousands accumulated over 30 years.

Take several seats.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time to make your own traditions at home. I can understand both sides of this. Can you do your own Christmas however you want at your home then join the family in the afternoon?

My parents live in Colorado and we fly down for a week each year. We can do it at our house but it would be way before or after.

Sorry, but I think you are being a bit of child. How old are you? You really can't see your way out of this "puzzle"? Give your kids gifts before. Or, bring gifts for your kids and give them at your parents house anyway.

Or, don't go to your parents for one year and do it at home.

Why not fly to your DH's family for Christmas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You think your parents spent HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS on Christmas? Either your presents were wrapped in gold or you have no sense of money. That seems really unlikely.

That being said, your parents seem to have perspective and you should borrow some from them. Your kids are having great family memories made. It's sad you don't think so just because there isn't "hundreds of thousands of dollars" spent on presents. They have two loving (ALIVE) grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins they see at Christmas . They are lucky.

They absolutely did.

One Christmas my three older brothers each got a new car. That's how extreme it was. I will state it AGAIN, I do. It want my kids to have that kind of arise as I'd over the top presents.

I do like he volunteer aspect and want to keep it, but I also want a small traditional Christmas with a tree and gifts.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I say this with love and understanding (and the child of rich parents)

You are missing the meaning of family and Christmas. No, I'm not religious at all - but you can find joy for your children without a 100K Christmas. Big family is still together, have a wonderful time together and bring presents. Make new traditions.

I definitely don't want a 100k Christmas. Just a simple gift exchange and a nice dinner together as a family. I want lights and decorations, not over the top but I want it to feel like a Christmas.

Then do that. There is nothing wrong with staying at your own house for xmas - decorations, a few gifts, and a nice holiday dinner - and then traveling to your parents' house afterwards between xmas and new years. It's your family and you're allowed to create whatever kind of traditions you'd like for your own family. Your parents seem to want to make a point about giving to others for the holiday, which is wonderful, but not "allowing" you to give your own children a few gifts is over the top. If Christmas is no longer something they celebrate, there's no reason you need to be visiting with them on that day anyway. Go in the summer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You think your parents spent HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS on Christmas? Either your presents were wrapped in gold or you have no sense of money. That seems really unlikely.

That being said, your parents seem to have perspective and you should borrow some from them. Your kids are having great family memories made. It's sad you don't think so just because there isn't "hundreds of thousands of dollars" spent on presents. They have two loving (ALIVE) grandparents and aunts and uncles and cousins they see at Christmas . They are lucky.

Where do you live pp? Hundreds of thousands of dollars is extremely easy to spend over even a few years. Have you ever catered a fancy party? I am going to think no...and Costco does not count.[/]

How about, when you try to be a bitch and read someone, you make sure you read the post properly first? OP said hundreds of thousands EACH christmas. Not hundreds of thousands accumulated over 30 years.

Take several seats.

Again, I guess you have not been to a fancy party at someone's home. I do not need to explain further...it can be done EACH christmas.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Huh. My kids are 7 and 4 and we're in the midst of refocusing on what Christmas is about- spending time with our family. I wish when my kids were 3 that I gave them a Xmas like we will be doing this year because then this wouldn't appear to hem to be reigning in. Most likely it won't anyway, but no one wants their kids to be disappointed on Xmas. Of course, they are still getting lots of gifts and we're following the same traditions, just on a scale that fits more in line with our values. Honestly, kids (particularly at 3) are no more excited by 50 gifts than they are by 10. If any are like my one DD, they will get sick of unwrapping about 5.

That said, you don't need your parents to give your kids an over the top Xmas. I think your family's new tradition sounds wonderful and you shouldn't disrupt it. You should just do Xmas the way you want T your house as invite them over.

And I will state for the fourth time I do not want an over the top Christmas for my children. I want a traditional Christmas on a much smaller scale while incorporating the volunteering.

[Anonymous]

Why is this so hard? You have three three-year-olds! No trip to Colorado; make your own family traditions that include whatever you want. As a family of triplets, your Christmases will be plenty busy and loud even without a ridiculous number of cousins. Find other ways to be connected to your siblings, etc, because they have aged out of the little kid Christmas phase.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is this so hard? You have three three-year-olds! No trip to Colorado; make your own family traditions that include whatever you want. As a family of triplets, your Christmases will be plenty busy and loud even without a ridiculous number of cousins. Find other ways to be connected to your siblings, etc, because they have aged out of the little kid Christmas phase.

Because I love my family and want to see them. I don't want to be he only sibling who doesn't go.

[Anonymous]

I would probably stay at home for Christmas Eve & Christmas Day and then fly out, is that an option? This is what we did as kids and I LOVED that low key day at home Christmas Day where we just opened gifts, had breakfast with Mom & Dad, and played with our toys before having to travel the next day to see family. Those are all of my favorite memories from childhood