Unexpected pregnancy in my 40s

[Anonymous]

How many weeks are you? You can get a CVS around 11 weeks to know whether there are any genetic issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

Misery loves company

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

Not the PP you are responding to, but I'm only 34 and raising my toddler kicks my ass on a routine basis. Good for you if you are high-energy and can handle two under 5 at 45, but it's not for everyone. And 55 (DH) is a lot different from 45 in terms of energy for parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Pfft ridiculous. I am surely a better mom in my 40s than I possibly could have been in my 20s. Much wiser about my fellow humans than previously.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

Not the PP you are responding to, but I'm only 34 and raising my toddler kicks my ass on a routine basis. Good for you if you are high-energy and can handle two under 5 at 45, but it's not for everyone. And 55 (DH) is a lot different from 45 in terms of energy for parenting.

Really. There are plenty of couch potato 30-ish parents and there are play-hard older parents. Besides your kids will be gratified to outrun you and 'win.' What kids really need from parents, older parents are very good at - reliability, steadiness, routine, attention, nurturing, patience, and good advice.

[Anonymous]

I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement

[Anonymous]

Get the blood test for genetic disorders and cross your fingers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

Congrats PP! I'm almost 45 and thinking maybe I should "see what happens" if I stop bc. So glad to hear from people my age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm sure DH is going to LOVE the teen years on his 70s , not to mention the diaper years in his 50s and the endless school years in his (not) retirement

I bet he will. He will be thrilled he didn't miss out on being a dad and got a new chance at it. Also, every guy likes to prove his virility.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:^^ most of these older posters are Preg after infertility treatments and know for certain that the want to be older patents. It is VERY hard to RAISE a child when you ate 43 and yr husband is 55.

Go away. It's hard to raise a child at any age and I, for one, am glad I waited. I would have been too selfish to do so any earlier. Had my first at 40 and am now 7 months along with second at 45 and very excited and both times there have been no complications. We have done all the screenings/testing that could possibly be done, however. Having a kid has been great and introduces you to new parts of life, just when things start to get a bit hum-drum.

Not the PP you are responding to, but I'm only 34 and raising my toddler kicks my ass on a routine basis. Good for you if you are high-energy and can handle two under 5 at 45, but it's not for everyone. And 55 (DH) is a lot different from 45 in terms of energy for parenting.

Really. There are plenty of couch potato 30-ish parents and there are play-hard older parents. Besides your kids will be gratified to outrun you and 'win.' What kids really need from parents, older parents are very good at - reliability, steadiness, routine, attention, nurturing, patience, and good advice.

Haha, I love that you assume I'm a couch potato. Both DH and I work full-time, and we both work out at the gym during lunch (since, you know, we have a toddler and can't do it at other times!).

And not all older parents are saintly, reliable, attentive parents, just as not all 20-somethings are terrible, party-hard slackers. Your stereotypes are borderline offensive. I shared my actual experience, so that OP can have that perspective. You are free to do the same, but your miserable stereotypes are not helpful.

[Anonymous]

I benefited greatly from having active, loving, and somewhat crazy 20-something parents, and I'm happy to have given my first DD some of the same. Expecting another child in my 30s, I know Ill be a different parent this time around, perhaps more tired, perhaps overly cautious, but also more nurturing and attentive.

But as PP said, there is a difference between deciding to have a child in your 20s, 30s, or 40s, and having it thrust upon you. We planned this one. The one I had in my 20s was an accident, under less than perfect circumstances. I had to give some serious thought to whether I should keep her, and I think I'm a better mother for having had the choice. Only you and your husband know whether this is something you both really want. If it is not, you don't owe this to anyone -- not to your friends or family, not to providence for making you pregnant, not to the women who want to get pregnant and can't... It's your life.

[Anonymous]

Am I the only person in DC area who actually had a completely planned pregnancy in my 20s? We had been married a couple years, had bought a home and had a steady income.

Sorry, it is just so odd that people act like all 20-something parents had oops/unplanned pregnancies and/or weren't ready to be parents.

I wish this poster well and have had plenty of 40 something mom friends. I don't know that we really parented our kids all that differently.

[Anonymous]

PP thanks for the post. Yes 20s and 30s are a great time to have kids. 50s not so much. Also this baby was an oops. But it can still be fine for the family if they don't mind spending those years in chilcare. I am a grand mother at these ages and I would not want to be full time with a young child. But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

I had all of my three children before my twenty third birthday and now at forty five, they have all grown and flown the coop.

I cannot even imagine chasing after a toddler or dealing w/a moody teen-ager at this stage in my life.

I remember having a lot of energy when my kids were younger. I could clean the whole house in a day, do four loads of laundry as well as bathe all of them AND even take them to the playground! Now, I am proud of myself if I can scrub the bathtub w/out having to take a break in between for my sore back! Lol.

Anyway, I work as a nanny and most of the families I work for are couples in their late thirties to early forties w/young children. I comment to them that I sometimes wish I had had my own children when I was older so I could have gotten a good career first and raised them in a nice big house and had more money, etc. They in turn, respond that they sometimes wished they had their children younger because working and caring for children in middle-age was really tiring.

So in my opinion, it is all relative.

How is your overall health & energy level? Remember, having a child does not automatically end at eighteen yrs. of age. Your child will still need you around long after that. You will want to be around to watch your child get married and your husband will want to walk his daughter (if it's a girl) down the aisle on her wedding day. Plus, you will want much energy and life left to run after grand children.

All of this must be considered.