"I think I'm losing my friends".

[Anonymous]

His dad needs to line him up with a hooker like in risky business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:When this happened to my DS I later found out the friends were starting to use pot. Unfortunately, six months later he started hanging out with them.

Oh no! I hope this isn't the case.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:His dad needs to line him up with a hooker like in risky business.

Unfortunately, his dad passed away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When this happened to my DS I later found out the friends were starting to use pot. Unfortunately, six months later he started hanging out with them.

Oh no! I hope this isn't the case.

I wish it wasn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. There's nothing you can say. Encourage him to hang out with them one on one - group mentality is brutal and less open-minded. Encourage him to pursue his interests. And just listen to him as he bitches. You can't fix everything.

This, unfortunately. It's not like he can go on his friends' dates with them. And if he's no good at soccer/football or whatever sport this is, he's not going to do himself any favors by being the worst player on their teams.

One-on-one sounds good. Also, I like the idea of having him invite friends to do something he likes. Maybe you could take them (can he drive yet?) to Six Flags?

He likes playing with video games and Legos (yes Legos), but his friends have outgrown these things. He's not driving, but a few of his friends are. Six Flags would be a great idea just as long as they don't try to bring their girlfriends along.

If he likes Legos he might like something like this: http://www.meetup.com/NOVA-Makers/events/calendar/

[Anonymous]

^^ they have events for kids and need teen volunteers; he could help out and meet some potential friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When this happened to my DS I later found out the friends were starting to use pot. Unfortunately, six months later he started hanging out with them.

Oh no! I hope this isn't the case.

This happened to me around the same age in high school, except my friends ditched me to drink booze. I found new friends though. Other PPs are offering good advice, have him get a job, learn a skill, do something fun. He'll make new friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. There's nothing you can say. Encourage him to hang out with them one on one - group mentality is brutal and less open-minded. Encourage him to pursue his interests. And just listen to him as he bitches. You can't fix everything.

This, unfortunately. It's not like he can go on his friends' dates with them. And if he's no good at soccer/football or whatever sport this is, he's not going to do himself any favors by being the worst player on their teams.

One-on-one sounds good. Also, I like the idea of having him invite friends to do something he likes. Maybe you could take them (can he drive yet?) to Six Flags?

He likes playing with video games and Legos (yes Legos), but his friends have outgrown these things. He's not driving, but a few of his friends are. Six Flags would be a great idea just as long as they don't try to bring their girlfriends along.

If he likes Legos he might like something like this: http://www.meetup.com/NOVA-Makers/events/calendar/

Thank you!!!! We're in Montgomery County, but this is definitely something to look into.

Small update: I took the advice from here and suggested that my son hang out with his friends individually. He called his best friend and they made plans to go out for pizza. I dropped him off (his friend met him there) and gave him enough money to cover both of their meals. When I picked my son up, he told me it didn't go as planned as his friend was texting for awhile until his girlfriend showed up and ended up joining them. He said they acted as if he wasn't there. Then they left to go to the movies. Poor kid was devastated.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:When this happened to my DS I later found out the friends were starting to use pot. Unfortunately, six months later he started hanging out with them.

Oh no! I hope this isn't the case.

This happened to me around the same age in high school, except my friends ditched me to drink booze. I found new friends though. Other PPs are offering good advice, have him get a job, learn a skill, do something fun. He'll make new friends.

What did you do in order to make new friends?

[Anonymous]

This happened to my DS. It tortured me. We just made sure he kept really busy with job and family activities. Still hasn't found a new group, but seems content. He doesn't want to be friends with the old group.

[Anonymous]

OP,

I'm so sorry your son had a negative experience. Not to down play his feelings, but this was one setback.

For the things he's interested in, there's definitely like-minded kids out there. I know you mentioned you live in MoCo.

http://makerfairesilverspring.com/

This camp just passed, but GMU has a program for teens:
http://www.thesienaschool.org/program.cfm?subpage=1836296
http://potomacacademy.gmu.edu/Summer/GameDesign/GameInstitute.html

Also, tons of teens and adults like legos. I'd take your kid to this:
http://www.brickfair.com/

I hope he's able to find his niche.

[Anonymous]

This happened to my son, and he ended up finding a new peer group of similarly geeky and goofy boys. For my son, his friends drifted away by 8th grade, but he went to a science and tech HS where many people (boys and girls) shared his interest in D&D, reading, video games, manga, etc.

My son is now 20 and still uninterested in dating, but he has a great bunch of friends and loves college life. This week he went with a bunch of guys to Dave and Busters...and for a friend's 21st birthday a few weeks ago, they went bowling.

He'll find his way. Just love him and reassure him he's perfectly okay the way he is. I'm sure he's awesome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing. There's nothing you can say. Encourage him to hang out with them one on one - group mentality is brutal and less open-minded. Encourage him to pursue his interests. And just listen to him as he bitches. You can't fix everything.

This, unfortunately. It's not like he can go on his friends' dates with them. And if he's no good at soccer/football or whatever sport this is, he's not going to do himself any favors by being the worst player on their teams.

One-on-one sounds good. Also, I like the idea of having him invite friends to do something he likes. Maybe you could take them (can he drive yet?) to Six Flags?

He likes playing with video games and Legos (yes Legos), but his friends have outgrown these things. He's not driving, but a few of his friends are. Six Flags would be a great idea just as long as they don't try to bring their girlfriends along.

If he likes Legos he might like something like this: http://www.meetup.com/NOVA-Makers/events/calendar/

Thank you!!!! We're in Montgomery County, but this is definitely something to look into.

Small update: I took the advice from here and suggested that my son hang out with his friends individually. He called his best friend and they made plans to go out for pizza. I dropped him off (his friend met him there) and gave him enough money to cover both of their meals. When I picked my son up, he told me it didn't go as planned as his friend was texting for awhile until his girlfriend showed up and ended up joining them. He said they acted as if he wasn't there. Then they left to go to the movies. Poor kid was devastated.

Ah ... it saddens me to hear this news. That's exactly what I would have tried to do. I've been there and I feel your pain. You'd be surprised what a good friend you can be to your son. The next thing to do is to figure out what he likes to do. School systems usually have summer programs for acting, singing, and art. Maybe something like that during the day a short bike ride or a walk for ice cream in the evening and a drive to a beach during the weekend. Maybe a baseball game once in a while. These years seem long and painful, but they really do pass fairly quickly. Sure, that's easy for me to say, but they really do pass. Also, once he starts driving he will be able to travel slightly farther from home to make friends and participate in a wider variety of activities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP,

I'm so sorry your son had a negative experience. Not to down play his feelings, but this was one setback.

For the things he's interested in, there's definitely like-minded kids out there. I know you mentioned you live in MoCo.

http://makerfairesilverspring.com/

This camp just passed, but GMU has a program for teens:
http://www.thesienaschool.org/program.cfm?subpage=1836296
http://potomacacademy.gmu.edu/Summer/GameDesign/GameInstitute.html

Also, tons of teens and adults like legos. I'd take your kid to this:
http://www.brickfair.com/

I hope he's able to find his niche.

Thanks for the info!

[Anonymous]

The update does sound like his friends are outgrowing him. That hurts - but it's not the end of the world. Just be there for him, encourage him to keep trying if he wants to...but also encourage him to do things HE enjoys and is interested in so he can meet like minded people. It is normal and all natural that people we meet also part ways. Some friends stay with us for a very long time, some until we die, but many, many, many friends stay with us for a few years and then move on. And we find new friends. That's life. If this is the first time this is happening to him (which it sounds like), it is especially hard. But once he does meet new people who share his interests and actually WANT to be friends with him he will understand that it is okay. Even when it hurts.