"I think I'm losing my friends".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go the social media route. What it really does is turn him into some weirdo stalker. His now friends will notice that he asks them out there instead of in real life and they WILL find it strange. It's also much easier to just ignore or decline a virtual invite, than being mean or negative face-to-face...I don't think that route is a good idea at all.

Agree.

+1

[Anonymous]

My first thought was to help him find other peers with the same interests. He could totally be a counselor at a Lego/stem/robotics camp! Get him out of the house and away from the video games.

[Anonymous]

Dear OP, please give us updates now and then during the summer. For some reason I feel vested in the success and happiness of your son. Wishing you both well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go the social media route. What it really does is turn him into some weirdo stalker. His now friends will notice that he asks them out there instead of in real life and they WILL find it strange. It's also much easier to just ignore or decline a virtual invite, than being mean or negative face-to-face...I don't think that route is a good idea at all.

Agree.

If social media means being a weirdo stalker, than I guess 90% of teens are weirdo stalkers. I don't mean reach out to people he doesn't know or to send out Facebook invites to his entire class or anything like that. I mean just messaging/chatting with a kid he's already FB friends with who is online -- that gets a convo going where he can ask for a cell number or ask what his group is doing that night or whatever. I am not suggesting that he live online only and not interact with others face to face. I also don't mean "set up your own event or party and send out social media invites hoping people will come" because they won't -- as PP said -- it's really easy to decline online invites and that's what kids do when they get them from others they don't know all that well. So use social media as a one time jumping off point and then make plans with other kids.

Frankly if he doesn't start with social media, he likely won't be able to meet kids from his own school/grade face to face. Think about it -- if he's not on their sports teams this summer, where is he going to run into them to start a natural conversation? Sure he can do some of the suggestions above like lego camps and whatnot, but I do think those friendships tend to be short lived and/or fake. You interact politely while you're there -- which makes for a decent summer -- but once it's over I'd be shocked if you kept in touch with anyone; you may try but the other kids may have another camp lined up, be back to their group of school friends etc. OP's kid needs to make friends mostly (not exclusively) in his own school because this problem of his friends dropping him for dates is not going to get better in Sept; he will find himself without a group to hang with them as well so may as well start trying to reach out to some of the other kids now, maybe hang out a few times, and by the time Sept rolls around and they're living more scheduled lives and seeing each other in school daily, there's more of a basis for friendship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don't go the social media route. What it really does is turn him into some weirdo stalker. His now friends will notice that he asks them out there instead of in real life and they WILL find it strange. It's also much easier to just ignore or decline a virtual invite, than being mean or negative face-to-face...I don't think that route is a good idea at all.

Agree.

If social media means being a weirdo stalker, than I guess 90% of teens are weirdo stalkers. I don't mean reach out to people he doesn't know or to send out Facebook invites to his entire class or anything like that. I mean just messaging/chatting with a kid he's already FB friends with who is online -- that gets a convo going where he can ask for a cell number or ask what his group is doing that night or whatever. I am not suggesting that he live online only and not interact with others face to face. I also don't mean "set up your own event or party and send out social media invites hoping people will come" because they won't -- as PP said -- it's really easy to decline online invites and that's what kids do when they get them from others they don't know all that well. So use social media as a one time jumping off point and then make plans with other kids.

Frankly if he doesn't start with social media, he likely won't be able to meet kids from his own school/grade face to face. Think about it -- if he's not on their sports teams this summer, where is he going to run into them to start a natural conversation? Sure he can do some of the suggestions above like lego camps and whatnot, but I do think those friendships tend to be short lived and/or fake. You interact politely while you're there -- which makes for a decent summer -- but once it's over I'd be shocked if you kept in touch with anyone; you may try but the other kids may have another camp lined up, be back to their group of school friends etc. OP's kid needs to make friends mostly (not exclusively) in his own school because this problem of his friends dropping him for dates is not going to get better in Sept; he will find himself without a group to hang with them as well so may as well start trying to reach out to some of the other kids now, maybe hang out a few times, and by the time Sept rolls around and they're living more scheduled lives and seeing each other in school daily, there's more of a basis for friendship.

But wouldn't social media actually make it easier to stay in touch and make plans with people after the camp ends?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear OP, please give us updates now and then during the summer. For some reason I feel vested in the success and happiness of your son. Wishing you both well.

Thank you. I'll keep you guys posted.