our finances are a mess

[Anonymous]

Op
Mortgage (with taxes etc) 3000 month
Tuitions, with scholarships, 6000 per month
Car payments (2 used cars, with fuel) 800
Groceries 1000
Bills (utilities etc) 1000
Out of pocket medical expenses (therapies) $1500
Household expenses (ie drugstore items) $200

[Anonymous]

What are your housing costs? Are you paying to live in one of the best public school districts? If your kids are in private, that's a potential area you could save in ... move to a cheaper neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op
Mortgage (with taxes etc) 3000 month
Tuitions, with scholarships, 6000 per month
Car payments (2 used cars, with fuel) 800
Groceries 1000
Bills (utilities etc) 1000
Out of pocket medical expenses (therapies) $1500
Household expenses (ie drugstore items) $200

How can you "bills" be $1000 if you said you don't have cable and have cheap phone plans? What is in this number?

$1,000 on groceries seems high and, with meal planning a couple of hundred can be shaved there. Everything else seems fixed

[Anonymous]

If there's no employer match, then a Roth IRA is vastly superior. Either way, stop consulting the internet. Call a financial planner.

[Anonymous]

public school or move to a house with good public schools

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If there's no employer match, then a Roth IRA is vastly superior. Either way, stop consulting the internet. Call a financial planner.

Their HHI is too high for a Roth.

[Anonymous]

Your car payment is insane. Sell at least one of them and get something cheap. And never borrow on cars again! Save up for a reasonable $15,000 car.

Baby step one: $1,000 in an emergency fund (I would do more like $3,000)

Baby step two: pay off debts, smallest to largest (this would be your cars)

Baby step three: 3-6 months of expenses in an emergency fund

These are the Dave Ramsey baby steps, btw. After that you start saving for retirement, kids college, paying off your home, and agressively saving for the future.

Good luck OP.

[Anonymous]

Car payments are big.

Pay that off first, create some positive cash flow.

Build an emergency fund again next.

Then 401K.

[Anonymous]

Monthly bills are very high. Second the PP's question asking what is in that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op
Mortgage (with taxes etc) 3000 month
Tuitions, with scholarships, 6000 per month
Car payments (2 used cars, with fuel) 800
Groceries 1000
Bills (utilities etc) 1000
Out of pocket medical expenses (therapies) $1500
Household expenses (ie drugstore items) $200

What's your monthly take home pay?

Definitely get rid of the cars! Set aside $1,000 from the tax refund as a baby emergency fund and use the rest to buy a paid for car. You can definitely get your groceries and bills down - that should find you at least another $500.

Check out Dave Ramsey's Total Money Makeover Book. Also consider a program like YNAB to create a budget and track your expenses.

[Anonymous]

I don't think that $800 with fuel for two cars is that high. You can spend 60-80 a week on gas in this area for one car easily (we live in NoVa).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here-no employer match for 401k, still worth it? 500 to savings, 500 to retirement?
Fwiw We have no cable, eat out once or twice a year, day trips only, cheap cell plan.
My kids have learning disabilities that can't be adequately addressed in public schools. Not negotiable at this point.

Perhaps you should consult with a special education attorney. I am certainly no expert, but I believe there are many situations where parents of children with learning disabilities or special needs can get the local school board or county to subsidize (or outright cover) private school expenses when they are unable to meet the needs of your children. There are children being bused in from neighborhoods in DC to private schools in Howard and Montgomery Counties for this very reason, all on the DC Public Schools dime.

[Anonymous]

OP - with public school not being an option for you - I honestly don't see how you can possibly put away enough to make up for the time your DH was unemployed, much less stay ahead of the 8 ball throughout your life.

I know you've said a few times already that public is not an option but without getting annoyed here, you really need to think about the fact that you are SERIOUSLY jeopardizing your and your DH's future. When you guys are in your 60s and wanting to retire you won't be even close to being able to do that without changing your current lifestyle NOW. No one is going to be around to take care of you in your aging years and you don't want to be forced to become a Walmart greeter to make ends meet.

$280K is a nice HHI, even in these parts. And the expenses you listed are quite low for your HHI - so you're doing really great in that aspect. But that private school $6K a month is crazy to me and not money well-spent as you can actually farm out various parts of your childrens' therapies and educational requirements for half that - if you were open enough to the idea. I know what I'm talking about because I have a DS with moderate LDs and ADHD. He's 11 and he is getting tons of services via his IEP in our Bethesda public. When he was first diagnosed I would hear nothing of public school...he HAD to go to private, Then we I looked at our budget (our HHI at that time was $250K) and how meager our lifestyles would become (we already lived pretty conservatively - one local beach vacation a year. eating out twice a month maybe. no house hold help. no fancy perks) not just meager but dangerously teetering on financial insecurity I had to get a grip and realize that that we live in a terrific school district that would offer my DS a very robust IEP, coupled with the fact that I hired a private tutor to make up for those gaps. His tutor costs us about $8K a year, a far cry from the $35K-$40K private would be.

All that said, get thee to a trusted financial advisor right away to get this sorted out. Perhaps an annuity with grntd income in retirement is all you can count on at this point if you are unwilling to budge on that big $6K expenditure.

[Anonymous]

I dont purport to know your situation but I'd ask yourself: which one is going to be the bigger burden on your kids in 20-30 years? Having gone to public school with some private tutoring or having destitute parents who are going to have to rely on their children in their old age?

If your kids are so severely learning disabled (all 3???) that they cant reasonably function in society in the long run then the private school education is a waste, and if not, then simply declaring that public cannot under any conceivable circumstance meet your basic needs feels nearsighted - both for your own future and well being and frankly for those of your kids.

What would you rather have, a student who graduates on time with B's and A's, or one that repeats a grade or two but goes on to a fully paid college while you have a fully paid for retirement, and maybe even enough to help them get their first place?

[Anonymous]

Check out LearnVest. They will work with you, set up a budget and give you a 5 year plan for what to do with your money. We've been doing this for the past 5 months, and I love it. It's an online tool + financial planner. Very helpful.

We were sort of in the same boat - make $300k, one kid, credit card debt, and know we needed to figure out how to better use our money. This tool has been great for us.