our finances are a mess

[Anonymous]

I think you can reduce the grocery bill ( unless you have to do the gluten free thing). Get a crockpot ($30). Do some bean enchiladas, soups, etc. Cook in big batches.

I also think you can reduce those utilities. The next couple of months will be easier in that respect (no giant heating bills), so use that time to get a free PEPCO energy audit, buy one or two LED bulbs, a programmable thermostat, change the furnace filters, caulk the windows etc. If you can get a room fan, that will be cheaper than AC, and can be used in the evenings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

My mother isn't even talking to me (or her only grandchild) because I didn't see her enough $ last year. She has blamed what she did for me at several points in her life, my fault she didn't work full time, my fault she spent more on a three bedroom, etc. I used to feel guilty, now I'm just angry and resentful. She could be in good shape now, but for her bad decisions.

Is your mother liberal ? Because I can't even count the times I read what you posted on liberal sites. They claim they gave their life up to invest in their kid only to get the finger back in return. Now they sit penniless griping about the horrible children they birthed. I'm thinking that's why the old hags love abortion. They wished they had terminated the Indigo ungrateful child they thought would provide for them later in life.

Seek help, crazy angry person.

[Anonymous]

I agree that you are being shortsighted by insisting on private schools for your children. If your children all suffer from serious disabilities, you should closely consider if they will be in a position to help support you when they are adults. You are better off planning wisely for your retirement to ensure that they aren't stuck footing the bill for you later in life, because its likely they won't be able to.

I am in my early 30s and one of my best friend's parents didn't plan well for retirement, and now they are both unwell and depend on her financially. My friend makes a nice six figure salary, but she is racking up significant debt and isn't saving for her OWN retirement because she has to help her parents and her sister out financially. Don't forego your own planning and put your kids in a similar situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you can reduce the grocery bill ( unless you have to do the gluten free thing). Get a crockpot ($30). Do some bean enchiladas, soups, etc. Cook in big batches.

I also think you can reduce those utilities. The next couple of months will be easier in that respect (no giant heating bills), so use that time to get a free PEPCO energy audit, buy one or two LED bulbs, a programmable thermostat, change the furnace filters, caulk the windows etc. If you can get a room fan, that will be cheaper than AC, and can be used in the evenings.

While I agree these are changes that can be made, they are making $280K a year, there are fundamental issues in their spending if they have to eat more beans and cook with a crock pot in order to save for retirement. Even cutting their grocery bill in half won't do much to improve their situation, and that is probably not feasible for a family of five. The big issue is the $6K a month in private school tuition. This is simply not sustainable. The rest of the spending isn't that out of line for their HHI. The only way to really make a real impact is to send your kids to public schools.

[Anonymous]

Start small.

1. Pay off any credit card debt

2. Figure out what you need for your emergency fund.

3. Have a plan to fund your emergency fund (define how much you need / how you are going to fund it / where you are going to put that money so it is segmented for other savings)

4. Make sure you have appropriate life insurance

5. Have a plan that once you fund the emergency plan, you fund a retirement account. I would do a 401K since it is tax deferred money and it might be worthwhile for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. Public school not an option for various reasons. We can reasonably put away$1000 a month but into what...401k, mutual fund...

Emergency fund until you have at least 8 months waved up, then 401k.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:eh, don't feel bad. Our HHI is north of $400K and I bounced a $1,500 check this morning ....

I gotta here this one....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:eh, don't feel bad. Our HHI is north of $400K and I bounced a $1,500 check this morning ....

I gotta here this one....

Investment property mortgage. Was tapped out.

[Anonymous]

Why is your mortgage so high for a place with bad public schools.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op
Mortgage (with taxes etc) 3000 month
Tuitions, with scholarships, 6000 per month
Car payments (2 used cars, with fuel) 800
Groceries 1000
Bills (utilities etc) 1000
Out of pocket medical expenses (therapies) $1500
Household expenses (ie drugstore items) $200

OP, you need to give more info if you want help.

Your numbers are too "round." Could you be more accurate?
What's your breakdown on "Bills"?
Where do you budget for gifts/entertainment? How much do you spend?
How much do you spend on after school activities and/or summer camps?
What is your budget for travel?
Why is your auto spending $800/mo if you only have two cars, and they are used?
Do you spend for a house cleaner, and if so how much?
What is your charity spending?
What do you spend on clothes and shoes?
Do you have gym or other sports expenses?
Does your grocery number include restaurants? How much do you spend eating out?
What is your spending on iPads or computers?

[Anonymous]

I have to join those who insist that you reevalute the private school route. How severaly disabled are your children? If very much, then you need to save for yourself as well as for them; if their situation is dire then they will need all the money they can have when they are adults, and you are no more around to help them. Conversely, if your children are not severely disabled, then whatever private school is doing can be approximately accomplished by a mix of public school and private tutoring. If you are adamant that private school is making a huge difference, choose a child where the difference is most significant; not all children in a family need to follow the exact same route.

Either way, private school is not making much of a difference. Private school is a luxury, not an investment, and it's a luxury you clearly can not afford, certainly not for all three.

[Anonymous]

your husband was laid off once, it could happen again... there is a real possiblity that your private school fetish will ruin the whole family. like, truly ruin it, and not in a "my kids didn't go to the absolute best possible schools" way. which, btw, would happen as well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op
Mortgage (with taxes etc) 3000 month
Tuitions, with scholarships, 6000 per month
Car payments (2 used cars, with fuel) 800
Groceries 1000
Bills (utilities etc) 1000
Out of pocket medical expenses (therapies) $1500
Household expenses (ie drugstore items) $200

OP, you need to give more info if you want help.

Your numbers are too "round." Could you be more accurate?
What's your breakdown on "Bills"?
Where do you budget for gifts/entertainment? How much do you spend?
How much do you spend on after school activities and/or summer camps?
What is your budget for travel?
Why is your auto spending $800/mo if you only have two cars, and they are used?
Do you spend for a house cleaner, and if so how much?
What is your charity spending?
What do you spend on clothes and shoes?
Do you have gym or other sports expenses?
Does your grocery number include restaurants? How much do you spend eating out?
What is your spending on iPads or computers?

None of that matters one tiny bit PP. That $6K monthly expense is so out of whack that the few dollars - literally - that will be saved by cutting out gym memberships, housekeeper and iPad connectivity will make zero difference in their budget.

I was the first PP who told OP to seriously consider public and I stand by that statement. If she is unwilling to do that then no one can help her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:None of that matters one tiny bit PP. That $6K monthly expense is so out of whack that the few dollars - literally - that will be saved by cutting out gym memberships, housekeeper and iPad connectivity will make zero difference in their budget.

I was the first PP who told OP to seriously consider public and I stand by that statement. If she is unwilling to do that then no one can help her.

Point taken, PP. Ideally, OP will start by considering public like you said. But as for the rest of her spending, OP still needs to get a grip on it. Until she knows where all her money is going, she can't re-direct it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:None of that matters one tiny bit PP. That $6K monthly expense is so out of whack that the few dollars - literally - that will be saved by cutting out gym memberships, housekeeper and iPad connectivity will make zero difference in their budget.

I was the first PP who told OP to seriously consider public and I stand by that statement. If she is unwilling to do that then no one can help her.

Point taken, PP. Ideally, OP will start by considering public like you said. But as for the rest of her spending, OP still needs to get a grip on it. Until she knows where all her money is going, she can't re-direct it.

The problem is, she knows exactly where her money is going...