Husbands: do you secretly wish your SAH wives bought in a paycheck?

[Anonymous]

I know my husband wishes this.

[Anonymous]

Happy to have wife at home. We have two young ones who are DIFFICULT. They are up many times at night. When wife was working we took turns waking up. After she left her job to stay home with the kiddos, things are much easier for everyone. Not just the sleep thing of course (but man, I need some sleep before work). Also just having the food thing figured out, not stressing about pickup and drop offs. And the kids are probably happier to be with moms. Once they are older I think she would probably look for some employment.

[Anonymous]

Yes. Sometimes I'm not so secret about it .

[Anonymous]

My dh wants me to work and bring a paycheck. Several of my friends' husbands do too.

[Anonymous]

My DH wants both. He doesn't want young DC to go to daycare all day but I'm sure he would like me to bring home a paycheck too. He has told me that it is hard having the financial stability of the family all on his shoulders. Right now I SAH but plan to go back once kids start school. However, if I happen to mention going back DH gets stressed and pissy. We'll see what happens. At the moment I am fine SAH but I might get bored once the kids are in school all day.

[Anonymous]

I carried the family the majority of the years post kids- I am on a break from a really lousy work environment. Dh is not saying anything but I'm sure he'd rather have the income since he has lost his job before (no fault- economy).

[Anonymous]

I'm sure a lot of SAHM's do know their husbands feelings, people. My DH owns his company and prefers I run our home life. Our HHI is high enough that we don't have to worry in that respect. If I did go back to work, my income would be a tiny fraction of his. We're both extremely happy and satisfied with our set up, as I think most likely are.

[Anonymous]

Just about to have our third, I SAH. For my DH, I think it definitely depends on what type of income I bring in. When the first two were born, I stayed home with them, but also ran an in-home daycare. Which was fine financially speaking -especially since none of my income or his income went to childcare, but very stressful on our homelife. He was so happy I closed it when I got far in my third pregnancy, and is so far really supportive of my plan to stay home until our kids are in school. I am working on finishing my degree while staying home though, which will give me options should I go back to work. I think he is more supportive of it because of that.

[Anonymous]

I SAH for 5 years and it was so great to be at home with my kiddo. My DH was very supportive bec he did not want our son to go to daycare. Now, he is in school all day and honestly I started to feel like such dead-weight. While my DH earns enough for me never to work again, I just didn't feel okay just going to the gym and shopping all day. I am an attorney so I decided to go back to work.

I am lucky I found something quickly and with limited hours (I recognize not all SAHMs can do this--I had a very lucrative and succesful career before taking 5yrs off). I am happy to be bacl at work -- doing work that contributes to society. Yes, that means my son goes to after care 2hrs after school -- but he is in language immersion and sports during that time, sonit really is not bad. I get to be a productive member of society again, save for my own retirement, yadda, yadda.

My husband just shared with me that he is THRILLED I returned to work. He *never* gave me any indication that he wanted me to go back to work. I personally felt unfulfilled to stay at home any more (one can only go to thw gym and mert friends for lunch and get manis and pedis for so much before it gets really old). I am not a troll -- I fully recognize my SAHM experience is this way bec of our relative wealth and only having one kid.

So that was my DH's perspective. He says he rests easier knowing I can carry our household as well -- esp excellent health insurance for all. So he is happy and much more at ease.

We'll see what life holds for us. For now, the newness of being back at work is fun for me.

As a side note, I currently have 4 friends goingg through pretty brutal divorces (aren't they all?). The SAHM are in the worst positions by far. Two of them were blindsided by affairs -- so sad for them. I cannot lie -- their situatipns have me the extra kick in the pants to make sure I could still stand on my own two feet.

[Anonymous]

I wish my wife would return to work. It is not a secret. It would also be better for our children to have a more sound financial future, not to mention that the job market is very unstable and if I lost my job after about 3 months, we would be in a dire situation. I don't think she wants to face this reality.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I SAH for 5 years and it was so great to be at home with my kiddo. My DH was very supportive bec he did not want our son to go to daycare. Now, he is in school all day and honestly I started to feel like such dead-weight. While my DH earns enough for me never to work again, I just didn't feel okay just going to the gym and shopping all day. I am an attorney so I decided to go back to work.

I am lucky I found something quickly and with limited hours (I recognize not all SAHMs can do this--I had a very lucrative and succesful career before taking 5yrs off). I am happy to be bacl at work -- doing work that contributes to society. Yes, that means my son goes to after care 2hrs after school -- but he is in language immersion and sports during that time, sonit really is not bad. I get to be a productive member of society again, save for my own retirement, yadda, yadda.

My husband just shared with me that he is THRILLED I returned to work. He *never* gave me any indication that he wanted me to go back to work. I personally felt unfulfilled to stay at home any more (one can only go to thw gym and mert friends for lunch and get manis and pedis for so much before it gets really old). I am not a troll -- I fully recognize my SAHM experience is this way bec of our relative wealth and only having one kid.

So that was my DH's perspective. He says he rests easier knowing I can carry our household as well -- esp excellent health insurance for all. So he is happy and much more at ease.

We'll see what life holds for us. For now, the newness of being back at work is fun for me.

As a side note, I currently have 4 friends goingg through pretty brutal divorces (aren't they all?). The SAHM are in the worst positions by far. Two of them were blindsided by affairs -- so sad for them. I cannot lie -- their situatipns have me the extra kick in the pants to make sure I could still stand on my own two feet.

Wish I were married to you. You sound great.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM and while I know my DH likes that I'm with the kids, he would love if I were bringing in a paycheck! Who doesn't like more money?

[Anonymous]

PP here, I will be returning back to work as well when the youngest is 2-3.

[Anonymous]

DH has said flat out that he doesn't want me going back to work. He doesn't like to say it because he thinks its a bit sexist, but the truth is he has a demanding (and high paying) job and needs me to run our home/take care of our 3 kids. However, I was also in a field where my salary wouldn't even cover daycare expenses once we had a second kid.

[Anonymous]

DH here: No. But I'd be fine if she wanted to, it seems to me that there are pros and cons either way.