DW loves machine more than I.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The "six-pack abs" is the troll tip-off.

+1

It's one of them, anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not sure what has happened. DW has been getting off sexually without me for a while, like in the last year or so without me. I feel short changed when it comes to sex frequency and I find out that she'd rather get off on a vibrator instead of fulfilling my needs first. Im fine if she wants to do that, but if it comes at the cost of my own needs, seriously, I am starting to feel betrayed.

I have always been a nice husband, a great one in fact. Like when I do things that I think are normal, the other wives makes comments that they wish their husbands did the same. Not cruel, not whatever, so that can't be the reason I am turned away for the vibrator. I wish those things were never made.

How do I bring things back to where she'd truly want me? Me: very fit, athletic, 6-pack abs, well kept and groomed. She does have sex with me just to keep things enough to get going, but its like she just wants it to be over. No intimacy pre or post sex. Its like do me now and quickly, no eye contact and get away and leave me alone.

It makes me wonder if this can go on. Any advice for a solution?

Your post comes off as someone who is only concerned about himself. It's very "me, me, me, and hey, what about me?" Even when you're saying what a great husband you are, it's about how other wives wish their husbands would be as great. Get over yourself, and maybe your wife will be more attracted to you. She may think you don't have any need for you if you're so impressed with yourself. Serious answer here, not being snarky.

[Anonymous]

"More than me." Unless you are also in love with the machine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"More than me." Unless you are also in love with the machine.

Tee hee. That was my first thought, too.

So, OP, have you discussed incorporating the "machine" into sex with your wife? It may well be that she is used to that amount of pressure or vibration or whatever.

Another possibility here is that she is having an affair. Is this a giant red flag? No, but it is a small one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I...wonder....if.....it's......this...OP...

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/336230.page

you......wonder.....incorrectly....sorry...not...me

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dude, have you talked to her????

"Honey, I've noticed that you seem disengaged with sex. My sense is that you just want it to be over so you an use the vibrator. What's going on? I want to hear what's going on for you."

Then shut up and listen.

OP here. anonymity breeds meanness. ok. Of course I have asked. I want to feel like a satisfying lover not a molester. Clearly I'm not meeting her needs, but then again, she doesnt open up as to why. Ergo: what could compel her to not want to tell me and to not feel satisfied anymore?

[Anonymous]

I could be your wife, but I doubt it.

I love you but you are boring and a bit selfish. You don't last long and then you fall asleep. You don't touch the right areas....it is just boring. You don't seduce my mind. You don't excite my body. I do it because I love you. I am attracted to you, but I would rather just get my fix and go to sleep...kind of like what you do.

[Anonymous]

Your post comes off as someone who is only concerned about himself. It's very "me, me, me, and hey, what about me?" Even when you're saying what a great husband you are, it's about how other wives wish their husbands would be as great. Get over yourself, and maybe your wife will be more attracted to you. She may think you don't have any need for you if you're so impressed with yourself. Serious answer here, not being snarky.

wife is impressed with me. bedroom issues as far as I know my dear poster. So youre wrong. Nothing would please me more if she were pleased. sheesh.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I could be your wife, but I doubt it.

I love you but you are boring and a bit selfish. You don't last long and then you fall asleep. You don't touch the right areas....it is just boring. You don't seduce my mind. You don't excite my body. I do it because I love you. I am attracted to you, but I would rather just get my fix and go to sleep...kind of like what you do.

And I will never say this because I don't want to hurt your feelings.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be your wife, but I doubt it.

I love you but you are boring and a bit selfish. You don't last long and then you fall asleep. You don't touch the right areas....it is just boring. You don't seduce my mind. You don't excite my body. I do it because I love you. I am attracted to you, but I would rather just get my fix and go to sleep...kind of like what you do.

And I will never say this because I don't want to hurt your feelings.

kind of you i suppose if you were DW BUT YOURE NOT. Im here to find ways to make her happy, in hindsightm foolish post. Impossible to paint full picture for useful feedback. Fault is mine and lesson learned: many posters are anonymous hyenas with pack mentality. No useful feedback possible here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I could be your wife, but I doubt it.

I love you but you are boring and a bit selfish. You don't last long and then you fall asleep. You don't touch the right areas....it is just boring. You don't seduce my mind. You don't excite my body. I do it because I love you. I am attracted to you, but I would rather just get my fix and go to sleep...kind of like what you do.

And I will never say this because I don't want to hurt your feelings.

kind of you i suppose if you were DW BUT YOURE NOT. Im here to find ways to make her happy, in hindsightm foolish post. Impossible to paint full picture for useful feedback. Fault is mine and lesson learned: many posters are anonymous hyenas with pack mentality. No useful feedback possible here

You are an idiot.

[Anonymous]

OP, this is a toughie.

I am a woman and I admit, I do love my vibrator to death. If there ever was a fire...the first thing I would grab would be....Oh..Nevermind...Lol.....

Anyway, while I enjoy my vibrator and the pleasure it provides me, nothing, let me stress this...NOTHING in the world compares to the human touch of a man. I cannot understand how your wife if choosing a machine as you state over the "real deal."

I am not sure how comfortable you are in discussing this w/her, but if you really want to know why, you need to ask her why.
Tell her your side of things and let her know if there is anything you can change in bed from now on, you would be willing to do it. Also, stress to her how important a healthy sex life is to a happy marriage and that you really think this issues needs to be addressed and resolved soon.

If need be, perhaps she would like it if you used the vibrator on her. As much as you hate that damn thing, it could be a nice toy to have around to add that extra pizazz in the bedroom.

Be willing to experiment w/her.
Let her know you are willing and able to get down and dirty w/her.

If she refuses, then this issue runs far deeper than her vibrator. <---- No Pun Intended. There is something off in this marriage on an emotional level and that would be a whole other problem.

Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, this is a toughie.

I am a woman and I admit, I do love my vibrator to death. If there ever was a fire...the first thing I would grab would be....Oh..Nevermind...Lol.....

Anyway, while I enjoy my vibrator and the pleasure it provides me, nothing, let me stress this...NOTHING in the world compares to the human touch of a man. I cannot understand how your wife if choosing a machine as you state over the "real deal."

I am not sure how comfortable you are in discussing this w/her, but if you really want to know why, you need to ask her why.
Tell her your side of things and let her know if there is anything you can change in bed from now on, you would be willing to do it. Also, stress to her how important a healthy sex life is to a happy marriage and that you really think this issues needs to be addressed and resolved soon.

If need be, perhaps she would like it if you used the vibrator on her. As much as you hate that damn thing, it could be a nice toy to have around to add that extra pizazz in the bedroom.

Be willing to experiment w/her.
Let her know you are willing and able to get down and dirty w/her.

If she refuses, then this issue runs far deeper than her vibrator. <---- No Pun Intended. There is something off in this marriage on an emotional level and that would be a whole other problem.

Good Luck.

Thank you much. I will heed your advice and start from there. Again, your input is appreciated (honest and nice).

[Anonymous]

She's not attracted to you. You're too nice so she sees you as a friend. That's good for a stable, long term relationship; but it doesn't make her vagina tingle.

If she reads romance novels, take notes on how the men treat the women. That's probably more what she's looking for.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP - Post on the Sex and Relationship Issues Forum:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/forums/show/43.page

Good luck.

Ditto.