Mother-in-law makes us say grace in my house

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I don't get it. What's the big deal? What harm comes from saying grace & prayers? At the very least, it exposes your children to one form of worship/spirituality/religion. If this is bothering you so much, it must be indicative of a larger issue. Are there other areas where you feel like she is not respecting you? I would take a look at that and address the bigger issue. This doesn't seem to be worth it.

OP here - I think this poster is probably right. For what it's worth, she makes us hold hands and say a set prayer and sometimes she sings after. But really, I think it's just she overall doesn't respect my position as the mom of my children and always trys to take control. I think last night this just set me off. I think I wouldn't mind it so much if she at least asked first. Like said, do you mind if we say grace. She never asks, she just does.

[Anonymous]

oops - tries

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yeah, I don't get it. What's the big deal? What harm comes from saying grace & prayers? At the very least, it exposes your children to one form of worship/spirituality/religion. If this is bothering you so much, it must be indicative of a larger issue. Are there other areas where you feel like she is not respecting you? I would take a look at that and address the bigger issue. This doesn't seem to be worth it.

OP here - I think this poster is probably right. For what it's worth, she makes us hold hands and say a set prayer and sometimes she sings after. But really, I think it's just she overall doesn't respect my position as the mom of my children and always trys to take control. I think last night this just set me off. I think I wouldn't mind it so much if she at least asked first. Like said, do you mind if we say grace. She never asks, she just does.

It would set me off too, OP. What does DH think? Would DH talk to her (since it's his mother)?

[Anonymous]

Your house, your rules. She does not get to come in and override you. If she wants to say grace at your table, let her. But she doesn't get to say you all hold hands and sing together. You raise your kids the way you and your DH want too.

you and DH need to be crisp and clear when you deliver this. And if you have never said anything to her before, you need to be quite considerate when you do it b/c she is going to be blindsided.

[Anonymous]

In her house she can do whatever she likes. Why do ypu consider it wrong to teach your childten to be grateful for the food on their plate ? You sound like an entitled, ungrateful bitch who is rearing her childten to be equally entitled and ungrateful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In her house she can do whatever she likes. Why do ypu consider it wrong to teach your childten to be grateful for the food on their plate ? You sound like an entitled, ungrateful bitch who is rearing her childten to be equally entitled and ungrateful.

Perhaps you might consider re-reading the OP. Or even just the title of the OP. Which is: "Mother-in-law makes us say grace in my house". "My", not "her." Referring to the OP's house.

[Anonymous]

OP - you don't have to hold hands with her during the prayer. You can clasp yours together and if she tries to grab yours, just say "I'm alright thanks" and keep your hands together. You also don't have to sing or say what she's saying - just quietly wait while she finishes her thing.

Since you've never voiced your preferences to her about this before, you may want DH to preface the meal while setting the table with "Hey Mom, we don't really say grace here but you're welcome to say whatever you feel moved to. We'll observe a moment of silence and then we can all eat together."

[Anonymous]

She can say what she wants, and waiting while she does so is respectful. But you are allowed to remain silent and not be considered disrespectful if what she's saying is not something you believe.

Have you talked to the kids about how they feel about saying their prayers? Maybe they like it. If they don't, you need to help them figure out what to say to Grandma the next time she visits.

[Anonymous]

Less its a huge issue for you, I'd just let it go. I think it's much more important to teach your kids to respectful of elders and of other degrees of religious practice. You can talk to you kids about the prayers and your thoughts when MIL is not around. I generally think that people should be very deferential and grateful toward their parents, and in-laws, unless what they are doing or saying is directly harmful and can it be countered privately with just the kids around.

[Anonymous]

Less its a huge issue for you, I'd just let it go. I think it's much more important to teach your kids to respectful of elders and of other degrees of religious practice. You can talk to you kids about the prayers and your thoughts when MIL is not around. I generally think that people should be very deferential and grateful toward their parents, and in-laws, unless what they are doing or saying is directly harmful and can it be countered privately with just the kids around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In her house she can do whatever she likes. Why do ypu consider it wrong to teach your childten to be grateful for the food on their plate ? You sound like an entitled, ungrateful bitch who is rearing her childten to be equally entitled and ungrateful.

OP here again - let me guess, you're a mother-in-law.

[Anonymous]

I'm not religious but I'd recommend just eating this one go

[Anonymous]

At our house we say grace but my in laws don't. If I were you OP, I'd be pissed. It's not cool of MIL. No right to impose her religious rituals on your children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In her house she can do whatever she likes. Why do ypu consider it wrong to teach your childten to be grateful for the food on their plate ? You sound like an entitled, ungrateful bitch who is rearing her childten to be equally entitled and ungrateful.

Wow you sound like an ignorant over sensitive person. Name calling wasn't necessary at all. Calm down no one is taking your religion away or teaching their kids to be ungrateful. You can be grateful for your food and life without saying grace.

[Anonymous]

I would just tell the kids that it is important to MIL to say grace and seeing as it isn't important to your own family to not say grace the you will give her a moment of silence or a few moments to say a prayer.