lawyer moms...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have done it. I made partner at a law firm on an 80 percent schedule. I have two kids that I had when I was an associate.

It was hard. I do a lot of working at night, I am very aggressive and was adamant about not missing opportunities just because I am part time. My husband was working a more relaxed schedule for the first few years and he covered for me a lot so that I could work more. By the time I had my second and went part time, I had established serious relationships with several partners who were willing to vouch for and sponsor me. It is those relationships that got me to partnership and are the reason I feel so lucky to have a flexible schedule where I can come and go as I please as long as the work gets done well and on time.

I had to earn the respect of the right people to make it as a lawyer mom at a law firm. It took a lot of perserverance and luck. I came close to quitting a few times and I still think about it often. I forced myself (with the support of my family) to take it one day at time and know that, when it gets really bad, I can leave.

+ 1 Good for you and kudos to your firm!!!

[Anonymous]

I have a government job in a family friendly area with great supervisors. Otherwise I couldn't do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Parenting is a fulltime job. It's demanding and often exhausting. If neither parent is willing or able to take it on, it's important to have someone who will make it the priority. Unless that person is a family member or friend, it can be unbelievably expensive to find an experienced and stable person willing to do the hard work.

So?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Parenting is a fulltime job. It's demanding and often exhausting. If neither parent is willing or able to take it on, it's important to have someone who will make it the priority. Unless that person is a family member or friend, it can be unbelievably expensive to find an experienced and stable person willing to do the hard work.

So?

Not the PP, but the "so" is that the reality of parenting (and of all that is required) makes balancing a job and kids very difficult. Kids don't raise themselves, so 3 weeks or 3 months of maternity leave doesn't really cut it. Providing some type of flexibility to help parents balance the ongoing requirements of raising kids is something that the modern workplace ought to do. If that doesn't happen then the parents have to hire someone (like a nanny) and off load the day to day parenting responsibilities to that person. Seems like a high price to pay and an all-or-nothing mentality (fostered by the inflexibility of most workplaces). That is the "so."

[Anonymous]

I quit to be a SAHM.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I quit to be a SAHM.

+1
SAHM = FT Mother
(Never saw one that "stayed" at home.)

[Anonymous]

I think it will get better. Still may not be workable from your perspective, but don't make a decision while you are in the pumping, sleepless nights time.... I always think I am in a fog until the kid is 18 months old.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I quit to be a SAHM.

+1
SAHM = FT Mother
(Never saw one that "stayed" at home.)

Uh, whatever makes you feel better about yourself. We're all full-time parents.

[Anonymous]

If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

I'm so tired if this BS. Are you home schooling too or will your child's teachers be "parenting" during the day? My spouse and I work FT outside the home and nobody "parents" our child but us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

No. I'm a full-time parent, as you will be when your child is in school for seven hours a day. I am not delegating parenting, nor are you when your child goes to school. I am delegating care-giving. You can call yourself a full-time caregiver as a synonym for SAHM. But I will not give you "full-time parent."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have done it. I made partner at a law firm on an 80 percent schedule. I have two kids that I had when I was an associate.

It was hard. I do a lot of working at night, I am very aggressive and was adamant about not missing opportunities just because I am part time. My husband was working a more relaxed schedule for the first few years and he covered for me a lot so that I could work more. By the time I had my second and went part time, I had established serious relationships with several partners who were willing to vouch for and sponsor me. It is those relationships that got me to partnership and are the reason I feel so lucky to have a flexible schedule where I can come and go as I please as long as the work gets done well and on time.

I had to earn the respect of the right people to make it as a lawyer mom at a law firm. It took a lot of perserverance and luck. I came close to quitting a few times and I still think about it often. I forced myself (with the support of my family) to take it one day at time and know that, when it gets really bad, I can leave.

not relevant but rock on with your bad self, pp! It's awesome to hear about moms making it to partner!

+1 Good job!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

No. I'm a full-time parent, as you will be when your child is in school for seven hours a day. I am not delegating parenting, nor are you when your child goes to school. I am delegating care-giving. You can call yourself a full-time caregiver as a synonym for SAHM. But I will not give you "full-time parent."

Luckily, it's not up to you whether I call myself a full time parent or not. Must love delegating all your financial needs to your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Everybody is saying "after pumping" but where did OP say she is pumping?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you didn't show up to work for most of the day, you wouldn't call yourself a full time employee. If you aren't in the same place as your baby/toddler from, say, 8am-6pm, it is hard to call yourself a ft parent. You must, by the nature of it, delegate the parenting during those hours to someone else. The inflexible workplace make it so.

I'm so tired if this BS. Are you home schooling too or will your child's teachers be "parenting" during the day? My spouse and I work FT outside the home and nobody "parents" our child but us.

It's called, "absentee parenting".
Not always pretty, but accurate.