When you see someone hitting their kids in public, should you say anything?

[Anonymous]

If the child is 2 or under, or the parent is beating them hard in the head or something real bad, I would absolutely get their license plate number and call child protective services and the police. It's good to get a paper trail going in case the parents are super crazy. And I personally believe in spanking to some degree, but not with babies or little toddlers or hard hitting or face hitting. I think there's gray area, and then there is just straight up abuse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Most of you who negotiate with your children from infancy to adulthood will probably have more poorly behaved children then those parents who smacked their kids.

+1. We smacked (not abused) our kids when they needed it. They are fantastic middle schoolers now, and the best behaved kids in the family. The grandparents can barely stand to be around their bratty cousins, however -- the ones who were "reasoned" with.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Most of you who negotiate with your children from infancy to adulthood will probably have more poorly behaved children then those parents who smacked their kids.

+1. We smacked (not abused) our kids when they needed it. They are fantastic middle schoolers now, and the best behaved kids in the family. The grandparents can barely stand to be around their bratty cousins, however -- the ones who were "reasoned" with.

I was smacked when I deserved it and I came out shining compared to those laisse faire parents that let their children negotiate their way out of everything. I'm grateful I was raised better and you can bet if my child misbehaves they'll get popped for it too. If its done correctly, it's done rarely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Most of you who negotiate with your children from infancy to adulthood will probably have more poorly behaved children then those parents who smacked their kids.

+1. We smacked (not abused) our kids when they needed it. They are fantastic middle schoolers now, and the best behaved kids in the family. The grandparents can barely stand to be around their bratty cousins, however -- the ones who were "reasoned" with.

I was smacked when I deserved it and I came out shining compared to those laisse faire parents that let their children negotiate their way out of everything. I'm grateful I was raised better and you can bet if my child misbehaves they'll get popped for it too. If its done correctly, it's done rarely.

Classy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Most of you who negotiate with your children from infancy to adulthood will probably have more poorly behaved children then those parents who smacked their kids.

+1. We smacked (not abused) our kids when they needed it. They are fantastic middle schoolers now, and the best behaved kids in the family. The grandparents can barely stand to be around their bratty cousins, however -- the ones who were "reasoned" with.

I was smacked when I deserved it and I came out shining compared to those laisse faire parents that let their children negotiate their way out of everything. I'm grateful I was raised better and you can bet if my child misbehaves they'll get popped for it too. If its done correctly, it's done rarely.

Classy.

Yeah, you're right. "Darling, you hurt Mommy's feelings when you throw yourself all over the floor and scream like a banshee in the supermarket. Why shouldn't we do that? That's right, we should use our words!!" is far preferable than just smacking a 3-yr-old brat who isn't going to grasp complicated explanations.

[Anonymous]

^ sarcasm, for anyone who is wondering. -PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

[Anonymous]

I think feeding your kids fast food and having fat kids is severe abuse. I don't intervene.

OP, how about you get a life and MYOB?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

I'm sure you have some pretty shitting parenting techniques you use. That does not make it OK for people to intervene. Shitty parents are everywhere, and you are not Batman.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

I'm sure you have some pretty shitting parenting techniques you use. That does not make it OK for people to intervene. Shitty parents are everywhere, and you are not Batman.

If I'm being a shitty parent and don't know it, then actually, I welcome intervention.

If someone is being a shitty parent and they know they're being shitty, then of course intervention is necessary.

[Anonymous]

The responses on this thread are horrifying. Really??? MYOB? That's just the way the dad chooses to discipline? Maybe his smacked around triplets will be better behaved than kids of parents who don't smack their kids? You all have lost your minds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

I'm sure you have some pretty shitting parenting techniques you use. That does not make it OK for people to intervene. Shitty parents are everywhere, and you are not Batman.

I was hit by a parent that had anger issues, so sorry if my empathy is getting in the way of you hitting your toddlers.

And yes, I am Batman. You can't prove I'm not!

[Anonymous]

I know this... If one of you sanctimonious parents EVER comes up to me if I smack my kid and even think about confronting me or, God forbid, intervening, I would take pleasure in giving you a piece of my mind using choice words and perhaps a physical threat.

Beat it with your holier-than-thou attitude toward disciplining children. There is no one size fits all type of discipline out there. The responsive classroom method at our school works on about 1/4 of the kids in any given class. Most of them need a smack in the back of the head every now and then; not time to think about actions and consequences.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The responses on this thread are horrifying. Really??? MYOB? That's just the way the dad chooses to discipline? Maybe his smacked around triplets will be better behaved than kids of parents who don't smack their kids? You all have lost your minds.

Damn those busybodies saying that physical abuse is wrong! I can hit MY child if I want to! It's MINE MINE MINE!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

It is physical abuse. No excuses for smacking your children around.