When you see someone hitting their kids in public, should you say anything?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

I'm sure you have some pretty shitting parenting techniques you use. That does not make it OK for people to intervene. Shitty parents are everywhere, and you are not Batman.

I was hit by a parent that had anger issues, so sorry if my empathy is getting in the way of you hitting your toddlers.

And yes, I am Batman. You can't prove I'm not!

If your Batman then im Robin!

i was also hit as a child and it's clear to me that it wasn't about discipline but about making sure i feared my dad. he also had a lot of anger issues. hitting your kids is just a lazy excuse to use them as a venting tool. there are many other and better ways to get your child to behave better than to make sure theyre scared of you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

Right, because having a tough, bad, long day is a legitimate reason to take your frustrations out on your kids by hitting them. Fuck that shit. This is straight up enabling.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who hit your children are pathetic, weak bullies. Take a parenting class for the love of god. This thread turns my stomach.

+1

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am honestly beginning to think you're a troll, OP. I am not usually quick to call troll, but all you're interested in is people telling YOU what you want to hear, when your post wasn't even about you.

We are all different with differing thoughts, feelings and opinions for a reason, and everyone is not going to always agree with you, and tell you what you want to hear.

That's fine CAA. If you regret being an apologist for child abuse, that's on you. If you want to call people a troll because you're regretting how you replied and (non)-explained your stance, it's your responsibility to not deflect your wavering and inconsistent comments. I guess it's far easier to call someone else a troll, than to own up to your ill replies.

Well, since I don't feel that any of my replies were.. ill.. and since I have a happy, healthy, well adjusted and well behaved child, I don't regret anything pertaining to this thread, or pertaining to my parenting. I am certainly not an "apologist" as I feel I have nothing to apologize for. If that makes your holier than thou attitude seem fitting, though, do whatever makes you feel good. What are YOUR kids doing while you're on here arguing with me and anyone else that doesn't fully 100% agree with you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I saw someone beating a child or slapping an infant, I would possibly do something. But a parent smacking a 2 year old is how they apparently choose to discipline, whether you agree or not. So no I would not do anything in this situation.

So who gets to discipline the dad by hitting him for hitting? It just seems so ironic, and completely futile in terms of discipline - to do the same thing to a child, that they're apparently being "disciplined" for.

Look, I get that you don't agree with hitting to punish hitting. But that doesn't matter because some parents do and unless it really crosses the line, it's not physical abuse. The little girl wasn't hit for no reason; her dad was disciplining her. You don't have to like it or agree with it but it doesn't give you the right to speak up. I don't condone abuse at all and would absolutely intervene if I saw it, but you can't go around bitching out everyone who parents differently than you. He has triplets, maybe it's been a long, tough day. You don't know. But as OP described it it was not worthy of her intervention.

This is not discipline, however - it teaches the child nothing. If anything, it teaches the child to do as daddy does. If daddy can hit, why can't little joe or jane? It doesn't give a consistent line or reasoning to a child - and yes, a 2 year old or toddler can pick up on those cues. I don't believe in coddling your children, but I believe in setting and leading by example. Hitting a child that hits accomplishes nothing - it will just confuse the child, and lead to an ongoing cycle.

Why can daddy have a beer but not little joe or Jane? Why does mommy get to drive a car but not little Joe or Jane? Why doesn't big sister lizzy go to bed at 7pm like little joe or Jane? Because life is not fair. The sooner kids learn that, the better.

I hope you're not being serious with this batshit reasoning. Jesus Christ - the excuses people tell themselves to justify their shitty parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who hit your children are pathetic, weak bullies. Take a parenting class for the love of god. This thread turns my stomach.

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[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that hitting accomplishes nothing? Dont knock it til you try it. When my son is acting up I look him dead in the face and ask do you want a spanking? He then looks at me and shakes his head and says "nononono" and stops the behavior that he was doing.Most of the time I dont have to spank him because he stops the behavior after I threaten him with a spanking.

Alll of you people against spanking have probably never tried it and dont know how effective it can be.

So go ahead and continue to reason with your little snowflake, if you will. But dont be surprised when they turn into nightmares as they get older.

You must feel big and powerful knowing your son is petrified of you.

Actually, my son is not petrified of me. We have a loving relationship based on mutual trust and accountability.

He's 2 and we co-sleep (oh boyyy cant wait to hear what you crazies have to say about that) and in the mornings when we wake up hes gives me a big hug and kiss and says "I wuv you." So yeah he's definately not anywhere near to being "petrified" of me. Keep telling yourself that though, if it makes you feel better!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that hitting accomplishes nothing? Dont knock it til you try it. When my son is acting up I look him dead in the face and ask do you want a spanking? He then looks at me and shakes his head and says "nononono" and stops the behavior that he was doing.Most of the time I dont have to spank him because he stops the behavior after I threaten him with a spanking.

Alll of you people against spanking have probably never tried it and dont know how effective it can be.

So go ahead and continue to reason with your little snowflake, if you will. But dont be surprised when they turn into nightmares as they get older.

You must feel big and powerful knowing your son is petrified of you.

Actually, my son is not petrified of me. We have a loving relationship based on mutual trust and accountability.

He's 2 and we co-sleep (oh boyyy cant wait to hear what you crazies have to say about that) and in the mornings when we wake up hes gives me a big hug and kiss and says "I wuv you." So yeah he's definately not anywhere near to being "petrified" of me. Keep telling yourself that though, if it makes you feel better!

Sounds like he's trying to please you out of fear. That's super healthy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who hit your children are pathetic, weak bullies. Take a parenting class for the love of god. This thread turns my stomach.

+1

+2

+3

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that hitting accomplishes nothing? Dont knock it til you try it. When my son is acting up I look him dead in the face and ask do you want a spanking? He then looks at me and shakes his head and says "nononono" and stops the behavior that he was doing.Most of the time I dont have to spank him because he stops the behavior after I threaten him with a spanking.

Alll of you people against spanking have probably never tried it and dont know how effective it can be.

So go ahead and continue to reason with your little snowflake, if you will. But dont be surprised when they turn into nightmares as they get older.

You must feel big and powerful knowing your son is petrified of you.

Actually, my son is not petrified of me. We have a loving relationship based on mutual trust and accountability.

He's 2 and we co-sleep (oh boyyy cant wait to hear what you crazies have to say about that) and in the mornings when we wake up hes gives me a big hug and kiss and says "I wuv you." So yeah he's definately not anywhere near to being "petrified" of me. Keep telling yourself that though, if it makes you feel better!

Nah, he doesn't trust you. He's afraid of you. Do you trust people who threaten to hit you? I don't. Poor kid has a bully for a parent.

[Anonymous]

My sister is a social worker and says that one thing she's noticed about kids is that they love their parents, no matter how fucked up the relationship is. So just cause your kid wuvs you doesn't mean you're parenting them well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How do you know that hitting accomplishes nothing? Dont knock it til you try it. When my son is acting up I look him dead in the face and ask do you want a spanking? He then looks at me and shakes his head and says "nononono" and stops the behavior that he was doing.Most of the time I dont have to spank him because he stops the behavior after I threaten him with a spanking.

Alll of you people against spanking have probably never tried it and dont know how effective it can be.

So go ahead and continue to reason with your little snowflake, if you will. But dont be surprised when they turn into nightmares as they get older.

You must feel big and powerful knowing your son is petrified of you.

Actually, my son is not petrified of me. We have a loving relationship based on mutual trust and accountability.

He's 2 and we co-sleep (oh boyyy cant wait to hear what you crazies have to say about that) and in the mornings when we wake up hes gives me a big hug and kiss and says "I wuv you." So yeah he's definately not anywhere near to being "petrified" of me. Keep telling yourself that though, if it makes you feel better!

From an outsider's perspective, and most likely in my father's mind, he and I also had a great relationship. I was the quintessential daddy's girl, despite the fact that he frequently smacked me across the face when I said anything not to his liking, and "spanked" me as his chosen form of discipline whenever he was got mad. We have not spoken since I was 19 and skipped out. I worked hard to please him, told myself he loved me, and tried hard not to step out of his arbitrarily drawn lines. Was my father abusive? Not enough for CPS to care. Did he think we had a good relationship? Damn right he did, it was my attempt to keep the peace.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My sister is a social worker and says that one thing she's noticed about kids is that they love their parents, no matter how fucked up the relationship is. So just cause your kid wuvs you doesn't mean you're parenting them well.

Exactly. Kids know they have nothing if they don't have their parents - them saying they "love" you doesn't mean much. It's what they're trained to do, and in a case when they're being hit, they do it out of fear. I know I said the same with my dad.