How much is a SAHM worth?
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Anonymous
I agree that this is stupid every year. Cooking dinner for yourself or your family is no more being a private chef than putting a band aid on a boob boo is being a nurse. Most two income families do not or can't afford to outsource more than the necessary childcare. Are the moms and dads in two income families who don't have a private chef, housekeeper, laundry and lawn service worth their salary plus thousands more? Don't think so. I'm always surprised at how some SAHMs don't realize that two income families are doing the work that a SAHM does during the day too. The only difference is that they are doing it at night after the kids go to bed. My SIL will make comments like Oh you are so lucky to work and not have to spend your days doing laundry and making dinner. WTH? We don't wear disposable clothes and pizza delivered everynight. |
Anonymous
Exactly. |
Anonymous
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Sorry, my mom (and many moms, including this one) don't really cook well enough to command anything like what a personal chef would command.
tired, tired, tired. |
Anonymous
I can't speak to your friends, but the the thing I envy my WOHM isn't that they don't do the work around the house - most of them do, I'm aware - it's that they exist outside the home. They get to speak to other grown ups about work that goes somewhere. They earn money. They are valued in a way that society doesn't value stay at home moms. It's shite to SAHM, too, sometimes. Sheesh. |
Anonymous
| I'm a SAHM and I think the article is annoying too. The only thing SAHMs could be compensated for in an imaginary world is nanny/daycare provider. Maybe the article should be "what a parent is worth" because all parents drive/cook/do laundry, etc |
Anonymous
Actually, they are also taking care of children during the day. Depending on the age, that is very labor intensive. Have you ever stopped by a daycare during the day? The teachers are busy. And all they are doing is childcare. I think to act like the SAHMs have this blank slate of time is a little disingenuous. I do think as WOHM, I probably do have more tasks crammed into my day. But I don't think SAHM with small children is some multi-year vacation. |
Anonymous
Even when the SAHM is lousy at all? |
Anonymous
Save some $$$$ for the hot mistress! 
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Anonymous
This is what ALL PARENTS, yes PARENTS do, working or not. |
Anonymous
A daycare is way different. Depending on the age, you are talking anwhere from 4 to 12 children per ONE adult. The adult is not allowed ot plug the kids in front of hte TV or really have ANY downtime during the day. The adult cannot run errands or go the the gym, while the kids play at the "kids club" the DCP cannot have other friends over while the kids play and they chit-chat. If I had my choice, I would be a SAHM, 1,0000 times over being a DCP. That work is brutal. |
Anonymous
Don't envy me! I have to spend every second of my evening disciplined and organized. I have NO downtime, and neither does my DH. It is very important that i cook healthy meals and spend 80% of my evenings doing food prep and 20% cleaning. I chooses to work, but there is also a price I pay. I cannot tell you the last time I watched TV, we shoudl cancel the cable, cause we don't have time to watch it. Throw in sports and school activities and we are running at 1,000MPH, I'm just very happy to have a DH that shares equally in the domestic duties, there is no way I could do this alone!
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Anonymous
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Economic value of work: $30-50,000 per year (nanny)
Harsh economics. As other PPs pointed out besides from 9 to 5 all other duties are part of everyone's responsibilities, so there isn't really any value in it. While you want someone nice and reliable watching your kids its not exactly a high-skill, marketable job. |
Anonymous
Well, yes, to a degree. Because the vast majority of SAHMs really care about and know their children in a way that most hired help never could. So it would be almost impossible to 'hire' someone to be a 'mom'. Having a staff of 4-8 people to do the job that a SAHM does, regardless of what you paid them to do it, would never be able to replicate what the SAHM does b/c she is the executive in addition to being the staff. The executive is the person who has the big picture and vision. This is what I most fear would suffer should I die while our dc are young. My dh, bless his heart, either pays no attention to important details or else pays too much attention to insignificant details and if, god forbid, I get sick, you would think the sky will fall if dh needs to take off time off. He has no time for this stuff b/c he is completely consumed by his business. Which is usually fine, b/c I don't mind. But don't tell me that my job can be hired out or that wohm don't either delegate more to their dh, cleaning service or nanny or else have incredibly flexible jobs that allow for plenty of time to do things during the day or flex time. For example, even if after my untimely demise my dh were to hire 24/7 live in nanny coverage with a nanny who cooked and cleaned, he would also need to hire a house manager to pay attention to and organize routine maintenance such as HVAC inspections, chimney cleaning, appliance repair, etc. The nanny would need to be responsible for meal planning and preparation and grocery shopping. The nanny would need to manage, plan and implement all health care related needs of the children: check ups, dental visits, etc. as well as stay aware of and informed about and advocate for dc educational progress and needs as well as keep dh informed of all events that may require his attendance: conferences, plays, musicals, etc. Birthdays, weddings, anniversaries, funerals, all gifts, notes, acknowledgements, social engagements and obligations of any kind for both adults and children. Holiday decorating, celebrations, traditions. Summer planning, vacations, holidays, weekend outings, sports tryouts, games, team selection....you know what I mean, right? Most couples I know who both wohm delegate these tasks evenly between them and/or rely more on outside help to get them done. Family where one parents sah or works very part time have the 'luxury' of having a parent who can focus more energy on career and one who can focus more energy on home and family. Because let's face it, somethings gotta give. Do families where one parents sah do things more thoroughly or more carefully or with more detail and planning b/c they are not trying to meet work obligations as well? Probably. I'm sure that some families are better at balancing that others, both due to the types of jobs the parents have, the dynamics of their relationship and the personalities, strengths and needs of the parents and children. But the executive functioning of a family usually falls to the mom, who usually is the one to sah. In my case, my dh has had his nose to the grindstone in his career and I have worried about everything else. If there is an issue he needs to pay attention to with the kids, I tell him what it is and he does, but in his mind, no news is good news. He had better remarry pronto or else his family will go to hell in a handbasket should I cease to be. |
Anonymous
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"Don't envy me! I have to spend every second of my evening disciplined and organized. I have NO downtime, and neither does my DH. It is very important that i cook healthy meals and spend 80% of my evenings doing food prep and 20% cleaning. I chooses to work, but there is also a price I pay. I cannot tell you the last time I watched TV, we shoudl cancel the cable, cause we don't have time to watch it. Throw in sports and school activities and we are running at 1,000MPH, I'm just very happy to have a DH that shares equally in the domestic duties, there is no way I could do this alone!"
You and DH must be very slooooow workers. |