Feel like such a bum when I am home with DD

[Anonymous]

I am home part time with my 5 month old DD and I feel like such a bum on the days I am home with her. When she is up, we play and I can do some chores like empty the dishwasher when she is in the bouncy watching. But when she naps, I just don't feel like doing anything! I end up on the couch watching bad TV or on DCUM (like now). It's so hard to motivate myself to do household duties for some reason. Or put on nice clothes and do my hair/make-up for that matter. And I also want to get out and do more, but sometimes the overall process is overwhelming - timing the car with her naps, figuring out where/how to feed her, etc.

Does anyone else feel like this or am I just incredibly lazy?

[Anonymous]

This is me exactly. I work full-time and often find myself wanting to SAH instead. But then I look at how I act on weekends or days off and know my son is probably better off at daycare! Some people are just not meant to stay at home all day - don't feel guilty. If you want to keep up the current arrangement, start treating home like you would a job outside the house. Make yourself a schedule, force yourself to get up, shower, and get dressed. As for the overwhelming feeling, I totally get that too. It'll get easier as she gets older.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is me exactly. I work full-time and often find myself wanting to SAH instead. But then I look at how I act on weekends or days off and know my son is probably better off at daycare!

Totally me too.

[Anonymous]

OP, I was like you. It is an enormous change. It is not necessarily for the better or for the worse, we are just used to being on the run. It's okay. What you do need is to shower and get comfortable. If you take a shower at night while DH watches DD, fine. When does she nap? Try to take her to the grocery store for a short trip in the morning, before her nap. Then come home for lunch and do afternoon nap. Then maybe an afternoon errand or two. Easy. Don't make it difficult, or feel guilty. I wish someone, just one person, had told me this. But we are not all ambitious. Some like the lazy lifestyle. I say you've earned it!

[Anonymous]

Housework is dull. Try to put on music you enjoy for distraction. Also don't forget about connecting with others being at can be isolating even if you just go to a library story time. Lastly, your baby is still vey young, your body is still recovering and trying to catch up on sleep. If you still feel zoned out in a month or so, talk to your doc about ppd. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

I don't know if this is a big deal - your kid is still pretty young, and it is winter. Maybe when your child is older and more interactive you can make yourself get out there more? I had an October baby and I don't think we did a ton over that first winter either. But now she's 3 and we are pretty active, most weekends.

[Anonymous]

this was a really weird post!

[Anonymous]

OP - I know exactly what you mean. In general, what has helped me (I stay home with my 18 month old) is to wake up and shower, get dressed (not sweatpants) and put on makeup for the day while my husband is still home and getting ready (as if we were both heading out to work). It makes me feel like the day has begun and I am ready for anything. It also somehow helps me mentally to accept that what I do during the day is important and worth doing. Also, if I don't shower, I'm less likely to leave the house or socialize with people. The other thing that I have to keep reminding myself is that taking care of a child is doing something. Even just sitting on the floor playing blocks for the afternoon is doing something. You don't have to be running errands or on a playdate to be doing your job.
Also, remember, that your baby is only 5 months old. Are you nursing? Waking up in the night? Soothing crying jags? Still adjusting to the huge change of parenthood? These things are all exhausting. You'll get into a routine where you'll be less exhausted, but don't expect yourself to run from putting your kid down for a nap to scrubbing toilets. Let yourself rest a little bit.

[Anonymous]

! I end up on the couch watching bad TV or on DCUM (like now). It's so hard to motivate myself to do household duties for some reason. Or put on nice clothes and do my hair/make-up for that matter. And I also want to get out and do more, but sometimes the overall process is overwhelming - timing the car with her naps, figuring out where/how to feed her, etc.

Look at www.flylady.net She'll get you motivated and on a good schedule.

Let go of the guilt. I think you probably underestimate the importance of what you ARE doing every day.