How much is a SAHM worth?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did OP intend to create YET ANOTHER mom-war debate? This is getting incredibly old.

I think for the most part people have not engaged with the usual bitter insecure minority representitives of the respective sides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"Nothing we eat is pre-packaged and we don't eat any meals out of the home (including breakfast and lunches). "

Kudos to those WOHMs who manage to do this - or even just cook each night (instead of reheating)! I WOHM FT and so does DH - we aim to cook 2 to 3 weeknights and the others are left-overs or something simple like heat-ups or sandwiches. I am fine with this though. Being "intense" about dinner would be wonderful if one of us SAH but would break us as is now.

I'm the poster you are quoting. I need to clairify, I do bulk cooking 2-3 nights a week, so there is definitly a lot of re-heating going on in our house. I have 2 boys who are both in sports, so I have to prepare for nights that we have 15 min to prep and cook and eat.

Again, I'm so grateful to have a husband who shares the same view about the importance of home cooked whole foods (we also are on a tight food budget, so out of necessity, we don't do packaged food as well). I could never do this alone without his partneship. He also handles all of the laundry in the house and with two growing boys, that in itself is huge task! When you have a spouse that you divide and conquer with, it makes things much much easier. My DH also works a fairly normal schedule with a 45hr work week and a short commute.

I agree, it is SO doable to eat healthy, whole foods and not have to commit a ton of time to it. Like this PP I depend on my husband to help - we meal plan and we enjoy cooking ahead on the weekends. I love the crock pot and otherwise have some 20-30 minute meals we make for the week ahead, and then supplement those with easy things we can either the night before after the dinner/bedtime routine or that night. It's really not that hard with planning.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get articles like this. Nothing against SAHMS and the work they do, and I do think it sucks that alimony is less common now, when many SAHMS support their husband's career, but come on. Let's pretend we aren't moms and we are breaking this down: a single woman without kids ALSO does laundry, works out (so she get paid as a personal trainer), cooks, cleans, etc.

And as a WOHM and my husband, a WOHD, we do this stuff too - cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around. Yes, we outsource childcare during the day and we do outsource housecleaning once a month, but the rest of it we do.

I just think it is a silly way to value SAHMS. How about just acknowledging, it's hard work.

I agree with you to a point. Certain jobs, however, are almost impossible to perform without a SAH spouse. For example, a litigation partner at a big law firm or a principal at a major strategy consulting firm. When I was in IP litigation, every associate and partner with small to elementary school age children had a SAH spouse -- there was no way to do the job otherwise. If both spouses are in such demanding jobs, there is absolutely no time at all to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around, etc. So, your hypothetical single woman can work and do SAH duties only if she is not in such a demanding job.

Let's not devalue SAHM just because your job allows for housework.

No job is impossible without a SAHM spouse. You typically outsource things and they get done. Lots of dual income families around here with at least one having an intense job. I agree it's better for the kids if at least one spouse has a more regular job (less intense) and I think the true ideal is when both parents have these jobs, at least for my family. There is nothing about my post that devalued SAHMs. The article is silly. This stuff needs to get done whether mom stays home or not.

But isn't that the point of this article? You can either outsource everything, do it in-house between two working spouses, or have one spouse dedicated to house-related work. In all cases, someone has to do the chores, and they get done -- no argument, there. The article is saying, if you put a price on the chores, then here is what it would be should one person perform them all.

For all you working couples that do your own housework, good for you. But that doesn't mean that you did them for free -- your time is money, you know.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get articles like this. Nothing against SAHMS and the work they do, and I do think it sucks that alimony is less common now, when many SAHMS support their husband's career, but come on. Let's pretend we aren't moms and we are breaking this down: a single woman without kids ALSO does laundry, works out (so she get paid as a personal trainer), cooks, cleans, etc.

And as a WOHM and my husband, a WOHD, we do this stuff too - cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around. Yes, we outsource childcare during the day and we do outsource housecleaning once a month, but the rest of it we do.

I just think it is a silly way to value SAHMS. How about just acknowledging, it's hard work.

I agree with you to a point. Certain jobs, however, are almost impossible to perform without a SAH spouse. For example, a litigation partner at a big law firm or a principal at a major strategy consulting firm. When I was in IP litigation, every associate and partner with small to elementary school age children had a SAH spouse -- there was no way to do the job otherwise. If both spouses are in such demanding jobs, there is absolutely no time at all to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around, etc. So, your hypothetical single woman can work and do SAH duties only if she is not in such a demanding job.

Let's not devalue SAHM just because your job allows for housework.

No job is impossible without a SAHM spouse. You typically outsource things and they get done. Lots of dual income families around here with at least one having an intense job. I agree it's better for the kids if at least one spouse has a more regular job (less intense) and I think the true ideal is when both parents have these jobs, at least for my family. There is nothing about my post that devalued SAHMs. The article is silly. This stuff needs to get done whether mom stays home or not.

But isn't that the point of this article? You can either outsource everything, do it in-house between two working spouses, or have one spouse dedicated to house-related work. In all cases, someone has to do the chores, and they get done -- no argument, there. The article is saying, if you put a price on the chores, then here is what it would be should one person perform them all.

For all you working couples that do your own housework, good for you. But that doesn't mean that you did them for free -- your time is money, you know.

Yes, but I guess my point is many of those things would be done anyway. We outsource once a month housecleaning, but otherwise we do it ourselves. Driving kids around, keeping up with the house, meals, etc. need to be done. We also go over finances, exercise, shop for kids and ourselves, etc. All of those things CAN be outsourced but I don't think most people can afford to do them. So that is why it seems silly to me. Like I said earlier, I recognize SAHMs add value to their family but this kind of article seems really condescending to me. It's like Reagan praising SAHMS for doing the "hardest job in the world" while cutting tons of programs that could help working families. It's lip service.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get articles like this. Nothing against SAHMS and the work they do, and I do think it sucks that alimony is less common now, when many SAHMS support their husband's career, but come on. Let's pretend we aren't moms and we are breaking this down: a single woman without kids ALSO does laundry, works out (so she get paid as a personal trainer), cooks, cleans, etc.

And as a WOHM and my husband, a WOHD, we do this stuff too - cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around. Yes, we outsource childcare during the day and we do outsource housecleaning once a month, but the rest of it we do.

I just think it is a silly way to value SAHMS. How about just acknowledging, it's hard work.

I agree with you to a point. Certain jobs, however, are almost impossible to perform without a SAH spouse. For example, a litigation partner at a big law firm or a principal at a major strategy consulting firm. When I was in IP litigation, every associate and partner with small to elementary school age children had a SAH spouse -- there was no way to do the job otherwise. If both spouses are in such demanding jobs, there is absolutely no time at all to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around, etc. So, your hypothetical single woman can work and do SAH duties only if she is not in such a demanding job.

Let's not devalue SAHM just because your job allows for housework.

No job is impossible without a SAHM spouse. You typically outsource things and they get done. Lots of dual income families around here with at least one having an intense job. I agree it's better for the kids if at least one spouse has a more regular job (less intense) and I think the true ideal is when both parents have these jobs, at least for my family. There is nothing about my post that devalued SAHMs. The article is silly. This stuff needs to get done whether mom stays home or not.

But isn't that the point of this article? You can either outsource everything, do it in-house between two working spouses, or have one spouse dedicated to house-related work. In all cases, someone has to do the chores, and they get done -- no argument, there. The article is saying, if you put a price on the chores, then here is what it would be should one person perform them all.

For all you working couples that do your own housework, good for you. But that doesn't mean that you did them for free -- your time is money, you know.

It's called LIFE. There is no value on conducting your life.

[Anonymous]

I feel like all my SAHM facebook friends have put these types of articles on their statuses at one point or another. This is the most assanine thing I have ever read. The private chef one is particularly irritating - "grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive the the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home." Yeah, so does EVERY OTHER PERSON. The ONLY thing on this list that they should get "credit" for is child-care between the hours they would otherwise be working - not "full-time live-in care". And how many SAHMs do you know who do the lawn maintenance too? This is so irritating.

[Anonymous]

Why does this bother you so much?? I'm a working mom, but maybe they post these things because they know that their "job" is not valued and at times belittled and mocked. Maybe posting these things gives them some dignity to their role.

I don't get people like you who are so bothered by stuff like this. It is hard for me to imagine that you exist in real life, but apparantly you do. I'm secure enough in myself and my status as a working mom that what a SAHM values and the things she is proud about in her role, really don't phase me. People are different, they make different choices and have different views on life. How boring if we were all the same!

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all my SAHM facebook friends have put these types of articles on their statuses at one point or another. This is the most assanine thing I have ever read. The private chef one is particularly irritating - "grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive the the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home." Yeah, so does EVERY OTHER PERSON. The ONLY thing on this list that they should get "credit" for is child-care between the hours they would otherwise be working - not "full-time live-in care". And how many SAHMs do you know who do the lawn maintenance too? This is so irritating.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get articles like this. Nothing against SAHMS and the work they do, and I do think it sucks that alimony is less common now, when many SAHMS support their husband's career, but come on. Let's pretend we aren't moms and we are breaking this down: a single woman without kids ALSO does laundry, works out (so she get paid as a personal trainer), cooks, cleans, etc.

And as a WOHM and my husband, a WOHD, we do this stuff too - cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around. Yes, we outsource childcare during the day and we do outsource housecleaning once a month, but the rest of it we do.

I just think it is a silly way to value SAHMS. How about just acknowledging, it's hard work.

I agree with you to a point. Certain jobs, however, are almost impossible to perform without a SAH spouse. For example, a litigation partner at a big law firm or a principal at a major strategy consulting firm. When I was in IP litigation, every associate and partner with small to elementary school age children had a SAH spouse -- there was no way to do the job otherwise. If both spouses are in such demanding jobs, there is absolutely no time at all to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around, etc. So, your hypothetical single woman can work and do SAH duties only if she is not in such a demanding job.

Let's not devalue SAHM just because your job allows for housework.

As earth shattering as this may sound: my DH is a partner in BIGLAW and gasp, I manage to work full time as a lawyer as well. And we have a 2 year old. And the sky has not fallen, chicken little. Things get done.

Really? One whole two year old? You're amazing. Try it with three kids and maybe you'll u derstand that both of you working is doable but that there are significant trade-offs that even you, superwoman might not choose.

[Anonymous]

WOW, we have a clairvoyant!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't get articles like this. Nothing against SAHMS and the work they do, and I do think it sucks that alimony is less common now, when many SAHMS support their husband's career, but come on. Let's pretend we aren't moms and we are breaking this down: a single woman without kids ALSO does laundry, works out (so she get paid as a personal trainer), cooks, cleans, etc.

And as a WOHM and my husband, a WOHD, we do this stuff too - cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around. Yes, we outsource childcare during the day and we do outsource housecleaning once a month, but the rest of it we do.

I just think it is a silly way to value SAHMS. How about just acknowledging, it's hard work.

I agree with you to a point. Certain jobs, however, are almost impossible to perform without a SAH spouse. For example, a litigation partner at a big law firm or a principal at a major strategy consulting firm. When I was in IP litigation, every associate and partner with small to elementary school age children had a SAH spouse -- there was no way to do the job otherwise. If both spouses are in such demanding jobs, there is absolutely no time at all to do the cooking, cleaning, laundry, errands, driving kids around, etc. So, your hypothetical single woman can work and do SAH duties only if she is not in such a demanding job.

Let's not devalue SAHM just because your job allows for housework.

As earth shattering as this may sound: my DH is a partner in BIGLAW and gasp, I manage to work full time as a lawyer as well. And we have a 2 year old. And the sky has not fallen, chicken little. Things get done.

Really? One whole two year old? You're amazing. Try it with three kids and maybe you'll u derstand that both of you working is doable but that there are significant trade-offs that even you, superwoman might not choose.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why does this bother you so much?? I'm a working mom, but maybe they post these things because they know that their "job" is not valued and at times belittled and mocked. Maybe posting these things gives them some dignity to their role.

I don't get people like you who are so bothered by stuff like this. It is hard for me to imagine that you exist in real life, but apparantly you do. I'm secure enough in myself and my status as a working mom that what a SAHM values and the things she is proud about in her role, really don't phase me. People are different, they make different choices and have different views on life. How boring if we were all the same!

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all my SAHM facebook friends have put these types of articles on their statuses at one point or another. This is the most assanine thing I have ever read. The private chef one is particularly irritating - "grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive the the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home." Yeah, so does EVERY OTHER PERSON. The ONLY thing on this list that they should get "credit" for is child-care between the hours they would otherwise be working - not "full-time live-in care". And how many SAHMs do you know who do the lawn maintenance too? This is so irritating.

The article bothers me intensely because it is WRONG and misleading. You read into my post somehow that I'm not "secure enough in myself and my status as a working mom that what a SAHM values and the things she is proud about in her role" bother me or that I somehow don't get that people are different and that I want everyone to be the same. I don't feel that way at all and I'm a little alarmed that you read that much into my post.

I am a WOHM and what bothers me is that the article says that "homemakers" (implying, ONLY homemakers) do cooking, cleaning, lawn maintenance, driving, and live-in child care. It's just absolutely wrong. There are like five effusive headings on there and I myself, a WOHM, do four of them as well, and the fifth one for 16 hours of each day. So yes, it bothers me when people post stupid wrong stuff on their facebook statuses. If you're proud of being a SAHM, that's great - there are many reasons to be proud of it. Post those, don't post articles that are entirely without point.

Believe me, I couldn't care less what people choose to do with their lives - I have very happy SAHM and WOHM and SAHD, etc. friends and I know that they are making the right choice for the families and believe they have every right to be proud. So don't worry about someone "like me" actually existing in real life.

[Anonymous]

"I'm the poster you are quoting. I need to clairify, I do bulk cooking 2-3 nights a week, so there is definitly a lot of re-heating going on in our house. I have 2 boys who are both in sports, so I have to prepare for nights that we have 15 min to prep and cook and eat. "

Wait, you said:

"It is very important that i cook healthy meals and spend 80% of my evenings doing food prep and 20% cleaning."

This does not compute.

How much work do these boys do?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all my SAHM facebook friends have put these types of articles on their statuses at one point or another. This is the most assanine thing I have ever read. The private chef one is particularly irritating - "grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive the the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home." Yeah, so does EVERY OTHER PERSON. The ONLY thing on this list that they should get "credit" for is child-care between the hours they would otherwise be working - not "full-time live-in care". And how many SAHMs do you know who do the lawn maintenance too? This is so irritating.

Peapod. Teenage boys to mow the lawn.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"I'm the poster you are quoting. I need to clairify, I do bulk cooking 2-3 nights a week, so there is definitly a lot of re-heating going on in our house. I have 2 boys who are both in sports, so I have to prepare for nights that we have 15 min to prep and cook and eat. "

Wait, you said:

"It is very important that i cook healthy meals and spend 80% of my evenings doing food prep and 20% cleaning."

This does not compute.

How much work do these boys do?

They don't work, they are at sports.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I feel like all my SAHM facebook friends have put these types of articles on their statuses at one point or another. This is the most assanine thing I have ever read. The private chef one is particularly irritating - "grocery shopping is another chore that needs to be factored in. A homemaker must drive the the supermarket, purchase the food and deliver it to the home." Yeah, so does EVERY OTHER PERSON. The ONLY thing on this list that they should get "credit" for is child-care between the hours they would otherwise be working - not "full-time live-in care". And how many SAHMs do you know who do the lawn maintenance too? This is so irritating.

Peapod. Teenage boys to mow the lawn.

Sure ok. But those are choices that EVERYONE makes. To lump them in as something homemakers should get credit for is ridiculous.