Anyone experience jealousy or friendship problems because your child got into AAP?

[Anonymous]

I think that expecting kudos and congratulations from a friend for your child's placement in AAP, especially if said friend had hoped her child would be placed, and was not, is very insensitive. I am not surprised a parent whose child was not placed would hang back on a conversation about it.

[Anonymous]

NP here. OP, I was going to post your very same topic. Parents are unreasonably defensive and some are saying they wish there was no AAP. Truth is, it is not their business. God forbid they meet my wrath. My thought is that if they have that sentiment, and/or have animosity toward your child being in the program, I would write them off. Truly, "with friends like those...."

Here it is: if you were honors yourself, you are likely to have honors children. No amount of Baby Einstein is going to change that. If you didn't marry Barbie or Ken, so to speak, no amount of your chatter will make anyone believe you married Barbia or Ken.

I think that might be their very issue. I could have told them to take a step back years ago, but what was/is the use? They won't listen to anyone but themselves and like to hear themselves talk, to their own detriment, and certainly to their child's detriment. They need to butt out and not p*ss off the wrong parents (never mind the admin, which is powerless compared to some parents I know).

They aren't in AAP because they don't know when to shut up. If they learned more and talked less, their kids might pick up better habits and viola. But what do I know......

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

NP here. OP, I was going to post your very same topic. Parents are unreasonably defensive and some are saying they wish there was no AAP. Truth is, it is not their business. God forbid they meet my wrath. My thought is that if they have that sentiment, and/or have animosity toward your child being in the program, I would write them off. Truly, "with friends like those...."

Here it is: if you were honors yourself, you are likely to have honors children. No amount of Baby Einstein is going to change that. If you didn't marry Barbie or Ken, so to speak, no amount of your chatter will make anyone believe you married Barbia or Ken.

I think that might be their very issue. I could have told them to take a step back years ago, but what was/is the use? They won't listen to anyone but themselves and like to hear themselves talk, to their own detriment, and certainly to their child's detriment. They need to butt out and not p*ss off the wrong parents (never mind the admin, which is powerless compared to some parents I know).

They aren't in AAP because they don't know when to shut up. If they learned more and talked less, their kids might pick up better habits and viola. But what do I know......

Total WTF post....

[Anonymous]

Agree. Barbie and Ken? WTF.

[Anonymous]

PP is not that diificult if you want to understand it. You are terrible at playing dumb.

OP, if they are jealous, avoid them. If they cause trouble for you and/or your child, do what you have to do. It was their choice to start where they had no business starting. Maybe they need to pay more attention to their own, that is their problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

PP is not that diificult if you want to understand it. You are terrible at playing dumb.

OP, if they are jealous, avoid them. If they cause trouble for you and/or your child, do what you have to do. It was their choice to start where they had no business starting. Maybe they need to pay more attention to their own, that is their problem.

WTF-squared.

It's not that complicated a situation.

OP should not expect Quiet Mom to reach out and congratulate her on her daughter's getting into an AAP program. It's not getting accepted to Harvard or an engagement.

If the OP wants to maintain the friendship, she reaches out to Quiet Mom. Either Quiet Mom appreciates the gesture, and things return to normal, or Quiet Mom spurns the invitation, in which case OP knows for sure that Quiet Mom is resentment and not really a friend.

Ken, Barbie, "doing what you have to do," and letting Quiet Mom know that maybe she could get her own daughter into an AAP program if she tried really hard are pretty much besides the point.

[Anonymous]

Wow, all these posts from AAP parents and their attitudes, makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP. Children have different strengths and weaknesses. We purposefully did not make a big thing about it to our ds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe your friend was / is expecting YOU to talk to her about it if you want to talk about it with her at all. It is YOUR news and a change for your family. If you were talking about it with another parent and never brought it up with your good friend, she might be thinking you don't want to talk to her about it (and possibly even feel hurt that you didn't bring it up).

Good ideas above, call for a playdate and such.

This was my reaction. Your post makes it sound like your good friend had to over-hear you talking to someone else to find out that your child got into AAP. If it's something that you had talked about as you were applying for AAP I think it's pretty rude to not tell her that your child got in. Not brag, just share once. No big deal. By ignoring the issue you made it a big deal.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these posts from AAP parents and their attitudes, makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP. Children have different strengths and weaknesses. We purposefully did not make a big thing about it to our ds.

Oh GAWD, such dramatics! Seriously?

You get a few "over the top" parents in any situation with kids. You should see the "sports" parents in action! They make the AAP nuts look tame by comparson. I personally haven't encountered any over-the-top AAP parents at my school. I wouldn't dream of pulling my child from the program based on a few ridiculous comments.

As children have different strengths and weaknesses, so do their parents.

BTW, I did have a friend whose child did not make AAP and lost their appeal. She still took the time to congratulate me and my child, and we moved on and are still friends though our kids are at different schools now.

[Anonymous]

The strangest parents we ever encountered were Asian parents of Orchestra students. All the kids were in AAP and advanced orchestra.

They paid no attention and talked to each other when the less advanced groups played. No applause. Then when their kids started to play they rushed the stage with cameras and video recorders, and clapped at the end like it was the frigging Philharmonic.

It really was a cultural thing. They hadn't a clue that such total indifference to other children is considered rude. I'm sure the next generation will act like other Americans.

Nothing we saw during sports events was remotely as weird.

[Anonymous]

OP, any parent that is over the top in general, avoid. I would be apprehensive about those who can not be happy for your accomplishments if you are happy about theirs! Some people are just looking for trouble and terrible at pretending they are not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The strangest parents we ever encountered were Asian parents of Orchestra students. All the kids were in AAP and advanced orchestra.

They paid no attention and talked to each other when the less advanced groups played. No applause. Then when their kids started to play they rushed the stage with cameras and video recorders, and clapped at the end like it was the frigging Philharmonic.

It really was a cultural thing. They hadn't a clue that such total indifference to other children is considered rude. I'm sure the next generation will act like other Americans.

Nothing we saw during sports events was remotely as weird.

Longfellow course catalog:
http://www.fcps.edu/LongfellowMS/pages/2011-2012LMSCourseCatalog.pdf

And then there is TJHSST.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The strangest parents we ever encountered were Asian parents of Orchestra students. All the kids were in AAP and advanced orchestra.

They paid no attention and talked to each other when the less advanced groups played. No applause. Then when their kids started to play they rushed the stage with cameras and video recorders, and clapped at the end like it was the frigging Philharmonic.

It really was a cultural thing. They hadn't a clue that such total indifference to other children is considered rude. I'm sure the next generation will act like other Americans.

Nothing we saw during sports events was remotely as weird.

all the parents who do this are Asian; all Asian parents are not doing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these posts from AAP parents and their attitudes, makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP. Children have different strengths and weaknesses. We purposefully did not make a big thing about it to our ds.

You are reading extremist comments on an anonymous message board about AAP and you have absolutely no idea if the posters really have kids in AAP but it "makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP"?!? Dramatic much?

@@

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow, all these posts from AAP parents and their attitudes, makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP. Children have different strengths and weaknesses. We purposefully did not make a big thing about it to our ds.

You are reading extremist comments on an anonymous message board about AAP and you have absolutely no idea if the posters really have kids in AAP but it "makes me want to consider pulling mine from AAP"?!? Dramatic much?

@@

I was joking of course, did you really think I was going to pull my child based on a DCUM thread? I will say, I told my son that being in AAP is not something he goes around bragging about, which is exactly what I have seen with some parents. What do people expect, a pat on the back? I have seen this already in 4th grade with children as well, "why is so and so not in AAP", etc. What I am trying to avoid, is my child forming an opinion that he is better than someone, just due to his academic status. We stress to all of our children that they all have strengths and weaknesses, as do all people. I have found that with 3 children of my own, who have such academic, athletic, creative differences, I know it is not just parenting/genetics that contributes to academic success. Just an opinion.