Girlfriend obsessed with her dog

[Anonymous]

All that sounds fine. But if she insists on taking the dog into grocery stores and restaurants, or sneaking it into places she knows dogs are explicitly banned from, she is a sociopath and you should dump her immediately. Not kidding.

[Anonymous]

Since your GF doesn't have children, the dog is her "child". It's obvious that the dog is attached, because she gets so much attention. Childless women (and men) in their 40s are self-centered and will not compromise much, they've never had to put someone else's needs before their own. Not sure you want to deal with all this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not seeing the issue. Your life should revolve around your kids.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like my dog better than I like most people.

It's so weird when people say this as some sort of quirky flex. All it does is make you sound hard to get along with. It doesn't make you sound cute.

[Anonymous]

She just sounds like a responsible dog owner who values and prioritizes the health and well being of her dog. It doesn’t sound like she takes it places it isn’t permitted. She just ensures it has proper care and exercise.

OP doesn’t sound like a dog person. Dog people and non dog people don’t often make great partners.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who has 2 dogs and calls them her daughters. Buys them clothes, takes Christmas card photos of them, has birthday parties for them, literally if you read her social media posts without looking at the photos you'd assume she was talking about children. "My daughters had a great time decorating for the holidays with me. Jane picked out the tree and Susie's favorite part was putting up the ornaments. They decorated cookies for santa this afternoon and I made sure to get them to bed early since tomorow is Christmas morning and I have to wrap their gifts after they're asleep!"

I would say it's because she is in her 40s and married without kids and it's some sort of response to the fact that maybe she was unable to have kids or her husbad didn't want them, but she was like this when I knew her in her early 20s when we were all childless and single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like my dog better than I like most people.

It's so weird when people say this as some sort of quirky flex. All it does is make you sound hard to get along with. It doesn't make you sound cute.

Well, people like you are probably why that poster prefers her dog over most people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My (45M) girlfriend (40F) has a dog whom she loves as a child. I have two teenage kids with my ex (shared custody) and GF does not have or want children of her own.

I like dogs, but my girlfriend is devoted to her dog at another level. Not so much in the weird annoying babyish way like taking her dog in a stroller or something like that, but in the way that the dog is pretty central to her home life and has to be accounted for in any or all plans. The dog is a rescue German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP) that has very high exercise needs. Every other weekend, my girlfriend must take the entire day to go on a hike or “spend quality time with my dog.” The dog is allowed on all the furniture except the bed which was a compromise. It also has to come with us for every trip we take unless it is a plane trip. She’s a nice dog, but is very attached to my GF and kind of a neurotic Velcro dog.

Is this normal for a 40-year-old woman? Or is this a red flag? I want to invest in this relationship but I understand that neither of us is each others priority. My kids come first, of course, but with her, I think I’m in third place, behind (1) her 78-year-old mother and (2) her dog.

It's normal, but that doesn't mean that it's healthy. The dog is a surrogate for the children she never had. I'd run. I've never met a "pet parent" who wasn't incredibly annoying (and basic).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since your GF doesn't have children, the dog is her "child". It's obvious that the dog is attached, because she gets so much attention. Childless women (and men) in their 40s are self-centered and will not compromise much, they've never had to put someone else's needs before their own. Not sure you want to deal with all this.

You sound envious. Sorry parenting is more than you anticipated. Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That all sounds normal for a higher needs dog. That's just what owning a high energy dog requires. If she doesn't interact and exercise her dog regularly it's likely to start exhibiting some destructive or difficult behaviors.

Dogs are a big commitment, she sounds like an appropriate dog owner.

IDA that this is "normal dog owner" behavior. Our dogs don't go on the furniture and are well socialized and behaved. They are loved, but come in below our relationship with each other, our kids, our parents, our other loved ones. We do currently have one nutty rescue mutt who doesn't get to come places with us precisely because he is neurotic.

I'm not necessarily seeing a compromise here. Maybe sending the dog to dog day care a couple days a week to leave more time for the two of you to be able to go on date nights/ all-day outings? But I think the most realistic answer is from the.poster who said: "Childless women (and men) in their 40s are self-centered and will not compromise much, they've never had to put someone else's needs before their own. Not sure you want to deal with all this."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All that sounds fine. But if she insists on taking the dog into grocery stores and restaurants, or sneaking it into places she knows dogs are explicitly banned from, she is a sociopath and you should dump her immediately. Not kidding.

Total textbook sociopathy. Classic sign: enjoying companionship
Clearly, dealing with attachment issues in a rescue dog is much harder than dealing with teenagers.

[Anonymous]

All of that sounds normal. I guess I'm lucky that my dh treats my dog like his own child. DH had "manly" dogs growing up, met me with a shih tzu with a pony tail. He's straight up obsessed now. In fact, he just took the dog to Lowes last night

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My (45M) girlfriend (40F) has a dog whom she loves as a child. I have two teenage kids with my ex (shared custody) and GF does not have or want children of her own.

I like dogs, but my girlfriend is devoted to her dog at another level. Not so much in the weird annoying babyish way like taking her dog in a stroller or something like that, but in the way that the dog is pretty central to her home life and has to be accounted for in any or all plans. The dog is a rescue German Shorthaired Pointer (GSP) that has very high exercise needs. Every other weekend, my girlfriend must take the entire day to go on a hike or “spend quality time with my dog.” The dog is allowed on all the furniture except the bed which was a compromise. It also has to come with us for every trip we take unless it is a plane trip. She’s a nice dog, but is very attached to my GF and kind of a neurotic Velcro dog.

Is this normal for a 40-year-old woman? Or is this a red flag? I want to invest in this relationship but I understand that neither of us is each others priority. My kids come first, of course, but with her, I think I’m in third place, behind (1) her 78-year-old mother and (2) her dog.

It's normal, but that doesn't mean that it's healthy. The dog is a surrogate for the children she never had. I'd run. I've never met a "pet parent" who wasn't incredibly annoying (and basic).

Oh bullshit. Our daughter has a beautiful and crazy big German Shepherd mix and we all love her. And my daughter also has kids. So typical of mommies to think that anyone who loves any one else or any thing beyond kids only feels that way because they don't have kids themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I like my dog better than I like most people.

It's so weird when people say this as some sort of quirky flex. All it does is make you sound hard to get along with. It doesn't make you sound cute.

Agreed. Everyone I've known who makes this statement, or "my dogs behave better than most children", is self-centered and overly online. Of course you like your dog better; it's genetically programmed to be sycophantic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I like my dog better than I like most people.

I like most people more than I like dog people.