I’m unintentionally ruining DH’s morning solitude—WWYD?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have kids.

Work on reading comprehension.

[Anonymous]

You live there as well.
Id get up and start my day .

[Anonymous]

Could you imagine if the roles were reversed and a woman was the one who wanted solitude in the AM and expected her husband to just lie in bed for an hour? We’d be all over her for being ridiculous.

Your husband is being ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you imagine if the roles were reversed and a woman was the one who wanted solitude in the AM and expected her husband to just lie in bed for an hour? We’d be all over her for being ridiculous.

Your husband is being ridiculous.

I actually doubt that. We’d say he should leave the house or be quiet if he stays in it.

[Anonymous]

Just don't talk to him or do loud chores like vacuuming. You shouldn't have to lay in bed just so he can have "solitude."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Take a cup of coffee back to bed and read. Since I retired, I do this everyday and love the alone time too.

Hello fellow retiree—I do this too! Highly recommend. It’s also a great opportunity to start a morning yoga, Pilates, or stretching routine. Win/win for both spouses.

[Anonymous]

The lack of reading comprehension on this thread is striking.

OP has kids, which we know because she said she enjoys her alone time after school drop-off.

OP's DH hasn't asked her not get out of bed in the morning. He's simply commented that he really likes the alone time he's getting now. OP is being nice and trying to accommodate this reasonable thing (some alone time) that she herself enjoys every day, but that DH rarely gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Time alone at home is precious to me too. You're a nice wife for recognizing his need for it.

How about you tee up some chores that you can do quietly upstairs, such as folding laundry. Or maybe yoga or stretching or hand weights.

Why does husband get an hour by himself to do nothing and wife has more to add on her 'to do' list? Why can't the husband learn how to be quiet when he wakes up???

[Anonymous]

Get coffee, go back to bed, scroll and read, then take a shower. Don’t speak to him or stay in the same room. That’s all any reasonable person could expect.

[Anonymous]

he sounds like a jerk. if he wanted solitude in his home, why get married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Time alone at home is precious to me too. You're a nice wife for recognizing his need for it.

How about you tee up some chores that you can do quietly upstairs, such as folding laundry. Or maybe yoga or stretching or hand weights.

Why does husband get an hour by himself to do nothing and wife has more to add on her 'to do' list? Why can't the husband learn how to be quiet when he wakes up???

NP. Because, as already stated, she gets her alone time after the kids are at school. She could be sleeping, but she’s not; she could be reading or scrolling, but for some odd reason, getting a cup of coffee and relaxing in bed is dissatisfying to her. So…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:he sounds like a jerk. if he wanted solitude in his home, why get married.

Dumb take.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband recently started going into work earlier, so he’s now getting up about an hour before me. He’s mentioned several times how much he enjoys the solitude of the house during that hour—he rarely gets the house to himself otherwise. I actually understand this completely, because I really enjoy the quiet of the house that I get after school drop off before I head to work.

The problem is that I wake up when he does and can’t fall back asleep. So I’m basically lying there for an hour, restless and annoyed. I’ve tried scrolling on my phone, reading, etc., but honestly I don’t enjoy just hanging out in bed. I want to get up, have coffee, eat breakfast, get dressed, start my day.

At the same time, I don’t want to ruin his alone time by getting up too. I know once he hears me moving around, it changes the feeling for him. I thought about just grabbing coffee and bringing it back upstairs, but that sounds miserable to me too. I’m not someone who likes lounging in bed once I’m awake.

So what’s the reasonable compromise here? I’m trying not to be selfish, but I also live here and don’t really want to spend an hour trapped in bed every morning. Curious how others would handle this.

Get up early and work out at home or go outside. He gets his alone time and you get healthier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Could you imagine if the roles were reversed and a woman was the one who wanted solitude in the AM and expected her husband to just lie in bed for an hour? We’d be all over her for being ridiculous.

Your husband is being ridiculous.

You lack reading comprehension. The husband hasn’t complained or said anything. OP has just decided to “feel bad.”

[Anonymous]

Why do you wake up? His alarm, or just the fact that he physically gets out of the bed?