Say something to store manager or just keep quiet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you rude or weirded out?

There is an elderly woman who works at the front desk of my gym and scans me in most mornings. If I ran into her at Wegmans, what that man said to you would similarly be applicable to how I feel about this woman: she is so nice and kind in our brief daily words, and I think it would feel endearing to hear the same from her. It means connection.

You were the rude and weird one.

Next time ask for help if you need it.

He meant it in a romantic way. Not in a friendly way.

DP. He obviously crossed boundaries when he told OP “I think about you a lot”. Store employees should not say that to customers.
That is not kindness. It is inappropriate.

For this isolated interaction, I would leave it alone, I would not try to jeopardize his job by speaking to supervisor.
Re not being helped, again if there is pattern that you never get help anymore, I would speak up.
But I suspect after the initial awkwardness, he will start to behave like a normal employee.

If not, then say something if there are 2-3 more instances where things are still not normal.

He wasn’t at work though, he was off-duty and in public. He shot his shot and was rebuffed. Now it’s awkward.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn’t it a good thing he’s keeping his distance? I think it would be inappropriate for him to approach you for anything.

Right? The poor man can’t win!

“I hate you! Don’t leave me!”

OP, you sound disordered.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you rude or weirded out?

There is an elderly woman who works at the front desk of my gym and scans me in most mornings. If I ran into her at Wegmans, what that man said to you would similarly be applicable to how I feel about this woman: she is so nice and kind in our brief daily words, and I think it would feel endearing to hear the same from her. It means connection.

You were the rude and weird one.

Next time ask for help if you need it.

He meant it in a romantic way. Not in a friendly way.

DP. He obviously crossed boundaries when he told OP “I think about you a lot”. Store employees should not say that to customers.
That is not kindness. It is inappropriate.

For this isolated interaction, I would leave it alone, I would not try to jeopardize his job by speaking to supervisor.
Re not being helped, again if there is pattern that you never get help anymore, I would speak up.
But I suspect after the initial awkwardness, he will start to behave like a normal employee.

If not, then say something if there are 2-3 more instances where things are still not normal.

Grow up. People are human beings and they have feelings. She was clear that she wasn’t interested so now he is leaving her alone. But NOW she is pissed that he isn’t fawning all over her when she wants something from him? No. That’s petty and immature. Move on. People are allowed to express interest in others outside of work. How else do you think that people meet?

DP. The guy is the one that's inappropriate. He did something weird on his personal time, her reaction was normal (saying ok and leaving) and then he's letting it interfere at work because now he stares at her awkwardly instead of offering to help. She didn't say leave me alone and never help me again. She indicated she's not romantically interested. That doesn't mean he doesn't have to do his job. If he can't accept that he shouldn't hit on women he sees at work!

Now I don't think she should complain, just ask for help next time. But she is not wrong to be annoyed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why were you rude or weirded out?

There is an elderly woman who works at the front desk of my gym and scans me in most mornings. If I ran into her at Wegmans, what that man said to you would similarly be applicable to how I feel about this woman: she is so nice and kind in our brief daily words, and I think it would feel endearing to hear the same from her. It means connection.

You were the rude and weird one.

Next time ask for help if you need it.

He meant it in a romantic way. Not in a friendly way.

DP. He obviously crossed boundaries when he told OP “I think about you a lot”. Store employees should not say that to customers.
That is not kindness. It is inappropriate.

For this isolated interaction, I would leave it alone, I would not try to jeopardize his job by speaking to supervisor.
Re not being helped, again if there is pattern that you never get help anymore, I would speak up.
But I suspect after the initial awkwardness, he will start to behave like a normal employee.

If not, then say something if there are 2-3 more instances where things are still not normal.

Grow up. People are human beings and they have feelings. She was clear that she wasn’t interested so now he is leaving her alone. But NOW she is pissed that he isn’t fawning all over her when she wants something from him? No. That’s petty and immature. Move on. People are allowed to express interest in others outside of work. How else do you think that people meet?

DP. The guy is the one that's inappropriate. He did something weird on his personal time, her reaction was normal (saying ok and leaving) and then he's letting it interfere at work because now he stares at her awkwardly instead of offering to help. She didn't say leave me alone and never help me again. She indicated she's not romantically interested. That doesn't mean he doesn't have to do his job. If he can't accept that he shouldn't hit on women he sees at work!

Now I don't think she should complain, just ask for help next time. But she is not wrong to be annoyed.

OP, quit sockpuppeting. You’re the only one who thinks this.

[Anonymous]

You're going to report someone who did no harm?

Way to ruin someone else's life, OP.

[Anonymous]

He’s human.

You have to keep that in mind. He was not inappropriate and like somebody said above he shot his shot. You rebuffed him, which is fine and he understood it. Of course it’s going to be awkward.

If you needed help, you should’ve asked for help. You also made it awkward by avoiding asking for help instead expecting him to read your mind.

There’s nothing to report to a manager. That would be over-the-top ridiculous and retaliatory.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP- do you think he started a campaign with his coworker not to help you?

No mentally healthy person would think that.

[Anonymous]

Grow up.

[Anonymous]

A store employee who I chatted with on a regular basis and who seemed a bit awkward asked me out once. I just said I wasn’t available. We don’t chat much anymore but we still say hello and it’s almost not awkward. People make mistakes and I try to be forgiving

[Anonymous]

I am very surprised by this thread, you act as if what he said was not creepy. She has maybe had a few conversations with him maybe about the shopping or whatever. He ran into each other ass out of the store, so then you say, are you hungry? Do you wanna grab some coffee or something?

You don’t say: I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Maybe you say I was just thinking about you but even then they don’t have a friendship so that’s kind of weird.

That implies obsession, maybe even imagining inappropriate thoughts. I can imagine that OP was very flustered by his admonition and approach.

And now he’s staring at her? The appropriate thing would be to just pretend she’s not there like any other customer

Do not report him, do not engage, do not escalate you need to find a new fing store.

[Anonymous]

You can say Costco OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am very surprised by this thread, you act as if what he said was not creepy. She has maybe had a few conversations with him maybe about the shopping or whatever. He ran into each other ass out of the store, so then you say, are you hungry? Do you wanna grab some coffee or something?

You don’t say: I’ve been thinking about you a lot. Maybe you say I was just thinking about you but even then they don’t have a friendship so that’s kind of weird.

That implies obsession, maybe even imagining inappropriate thoughts. I can imagine that OP was very flustered by his admonition and approach.

And now he’s staring at her? The appropriate thing would be to just pretend she’s not there like any other customer

Do not report him, do not engage, do not escalate you need to find a new fing store.

I’m almost certain that he was not “staring” at her, but probably only looked at her and now OP is being dramatic. Why do I think this? Because she wants to report him to the manager!

[Anonymous]

A little off-topic, but I wonder if the prevalence of OLD has made people less accustomed to what were once frequent in-person human communications like this. Perhaps OLD businesses are booming because the virtual environment provides some semblance of a shield from these kinds of reactions/interactions.

[Anonymous]

He was inappropriate. Then maybe he realized it and decided he had better steer clear of you. To me that’s the best result after he made his initial very inappropriate comment. Steer clear of each other.

If he says anything weird to you again, immediately report him.

[Anonymous]

Op here. My interactions with the employee at the store were brief and friendly. Being stopped at wegmans and being told “I think about you a lot” is what scared me. If he had just asked me on a date it would have been less awkward. I had a stalker in the past which resulted in a restraining order when I was in college. Costco self checkout tells you not to put carts of waters on their check out machines due to their weight. An employee is supposed to come by and scan them for you because they no longer let you use the hand scanner yourself due to theft concerns.