What do cheaters tell themselves?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^True. Frigid wives aren't open about theirs, either.

Divorce or amend your commitment from monogamous to open and the issue is resolved without betrayal. It’s what some of us refer to as being an adult living with integrity.

[Anonymous]

It’s always some variation of “I deserve it”.

The reasons for why they deserve it can vary a lot, but at the core of it they have been wronged and they are getting what’s theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:^True. Frigid wives aren't open about theirs, either.

That doesn't make sense. Especially in this day and age where people generally have sex before marriage, a man is going to know whether a woman is "frigid" before marriage. Is she into sex? Does she like doing it frequently? He will know. It's not the 1800s where you might not find out your partner's approach towards sex unit the wedding night. If for whatever reason you decided not to vet your spouse's sexual preferences before marriages and they refused to have sex with you after, then you could get the marriage annulled.

Now, sometimes attitudes towards sex change. Many women lose interest in sex as they age, hit menopause, or due to the stress of kids. If it changes, the people in the marriage have to reassess. And they can and should do so openly. If her new attitude towards sex is absolutely unacceptable to him, they can discuss an open marriage or divorce. There's no secrets there -- if sex dries up, they both know it, they can address it openly between them.

Whereas a cheater has taken a vow of monogamy, has not expressed to their partner that their opinion on that vow has changed, and keeps their change a secret. It's a totally different issue. A spouse who is cheated on is not being given an option to decide if the new terms of their marriage are acceptable. They aren't being given the option to choose an open relationship or divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anyone? I cant even begin to imagine a person who is an amazing parent would not think of their kids before going to a rendezvous with the AP. and what is their story for themselves?

Cheaters tend to be very good at compartmentalizing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone? I cant even begin to imagine a person who is an amazing parent would not think of their kids before going to a rendezvous with the AP. and what is their story for themselves?

Cheaters tend to be very good at compartmentalizing.

It's usually not the cheater who explodes the marriage, it's the other spouse.

[Anonymous]

They play the victim and take no responsibility.

Most are bipolar or have CPTSD or some other personality disorder.

Normal people don’t do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone? I cant even begin to imagine a person who is an amazing parent would not think of their kids before going to a rendezvous with the AP. and what is their story for themselves?

Cheaters tend to be very good at compartmentalizing.

It's usually not the cheater who explodes the marriage, it's the other spouse.

Wild universe you live in,

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My wife won't put out. Becky will. My wife made her call. I'm adapting.

My husband is selfish and doesn't satisfy me, in or out of bed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife won't put out. Becky will. My wife made her call. I'm adapting.

My husband is selfish and doesn't satisfy me, in or out of bed.

You were never what he wanted anyway. It happens.

[Anonymous]

Most often its not one big jumps into justifying cheating. Its a ton of little boundary pushes and micro justifications.

Oh this girl is talking to me, theres nothing wrong with chatting with someone.
Ill just take my wedding ring off because she probably wouldn't want to be my friend if I told her im married right away. Everyone deserves to make new friends.
I'll just give her my number, a new friend will be nice.
Theres nothing wrong with texting someone. We're not talking about anything bad.
Shes flirting with me a little. It feels so nice.
Ok, some sexting isnt really cheating. Its not in real life and theres no physical contact.
Meeting up in person for dinner isnt wrong. Its a fun friend and she knows im married now.
Ill just go back to hotel and hang, we rarely get to see each other.
Then *spiraling whistle* *CRASH*

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What do frigid wives tell themselves?

It's all selfishness. Variation on the same theme.

You mean frigid spouses, right?

[Anonymous]

My ex told our adult dcs that the reason he had an affair was because I wouldn't have sex with him. While that's definitely true (because I was completely repelled by him for years) he actually never asked for sex either. He only fessed up to the affair when I told him I knew. I now know he'd been cheating for years with multiple partners. I'm so glad he's my ex. And I'm not in a dead bedroom anymore, so, win win!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My wife won't put out. Becky will. My wife made her call. I'm adapting.

My husband is selfish and doesn't satisfy me, in or out of bed.

See, this is the problem.

Everyone justifies their actions. Lol

However, cheating seems very final. While your wife does not put out today, if she starts putting out next year it will be easier for you to forgive and forget the years she did not than it will be for her to forgive and forget you sleeping with another person.

Why not tell her you are done waiting so it is no longer cheating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone? I cant even begin to imagine a person who is an amazing parent would not think of their kids before going to a rendezvous with the AP. and what is their story for themselves?

Cheaters tend to be very good at compartmentalizing.

It's usually not the cheater who explodes the marriage, it's the other spouse.

+1000000

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are living their best life. And that the sore on their dick will go away.

And when they get diagnosed with herpes, they’ll conveniently “forget” to tell their partner.