Supporting colleague who discovered husband’s affair with a 19 year old

[Anonymous]

I’m so sorry. What kind of scumbag dates someone who could be his daughter? Don’t give me some BS about nature or whatever. It’s sick.

[Anonymous]

Well op I will tell you the same thing. I told my mom who dated a girl although she's 40 like me but still it's gross because he's 70. She's only in it for the money and he's a narcissist and selfish too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh btw is the 19 yr old a guy or girl?

College freshmen girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Help her realize this does not have to destroy her life. We've been culturally condition in the U.S. to think of this as some kind of ultimate betrayal.

But in many cultures--France, Japan, etc., this kind of things is not uncommon or even so taboo. Help her to not overreact. Keep it in perspective.

There are ways to make a cheater suffer without divorcing them. But yes, this is grounds for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Oh btw is the 19 yr old a guy or girl?

College freshmen girl.

Send an anonymous note to her parents. Also call a lawyer ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

[Anonymous]

Keep your heads everybody. I do hate to see these older men taken advantage of, though.

Imagine the power that these young women have to be able to coerce and exploit these wealthy men. Gives me pause.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Help her realize this does not have to destroy her life. We've been culturally condition in the U.S. to think of this as some kind of ultimate betrayal.

But in many cultures--France, Japan, etc., this kind of things is not uncommon or even so taboo. Help her to not overreact. Keep it in perspective.

Are you the cheating husband?

No. I just understand the fact that some kind of crazy overreaction only dissipates wealth and stability for the children. I married into a French family, and they think American divorce culture is basically like cutting off your nose to spite your face. Or, more like cutting off your kid's nose to spite your cheating husband. Who has the energy or the reservoir of spite like that?

Um, many of us. her kids are already grown. You think she needs to stay with scum sleeping with a girl barely out of her teens?

She's not. Part of the charm of the thing.

[Anonymous]

Gross. You need to leave him ASAP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Keep your heads everybody. I do hate to see these older men taken advantage of, though.

Imagine the power that these young women have to be able to coerce and exploit these wealthy men. Gives me pause.

Oh nooooo won’t someone think of the poor older men????
F them and F you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Keep your heads everybody. I do hate to see these older men taken advantage of, though.

Imagine the power that these young women have to be able to coerce and exploit these wealthy men. Gives me pause.

Oh nooooo won’t someone think of the poor older men????
F them and F you

Kind of a prudish Victorian premise that a young woman's sexuality must be so preciously guarded that no 40 year old man may touch it.

She's 19! Let her decide! Her body her choice, no shame.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

Takes two to tango and they're both scummy people. He must be her sugar daddy otherwise no 19 wants an old man with kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would remind your friend to make her husband suffer in the ninth circle of hell, but not the 19 year old. It's practically statutory rape. If this was in a professional setting, she might even have grounds to sue for coercion. If this is an au pair, the power imbalance is straight up employer-employee and it's gross on the part of the employer.

Ridiculous. Remember what we've learned. If she's 17 years and 364 days old, he's a "p*dophile". Two days later it's two consenting adults. There is no nuance.

I never said there was a legal basis. But her 19 year old brain is not mature, and it's always the married partner who is most to blame, since he or she is the one betraying their spouse. I'm assuming here that the 19 year old is not married.

What you're saying is not true. Yes it's not mature but 19-year-olds still have ethics and morals. When I was 14 and 15 I was flirted with And proposition by men. Much much older and it gave me the ick. Married men still flirt. It's up to the woman to say no.

No. Stop blaming women during these affairs.

Takes two to tango and they're both scummy people. He must be her sugar daddy otherwise no 19 wants an old man with kids.

He's probably packing that lumber. Who could blame her once she gets a taste?

Plenty of hot guys on campus but they're not giving her a credit card to go shopping.

Hey, it's not me blaming her for wanting both/and. Tell the prudes up thread. I say that she is a free person. Thank you Susan B. Anthony.