Crippling regret over having an only

[Anonymous]

If you had 3 kids the last one would leave, too. So all you would get is a few more years of a dwindling nest.
Kids aren't there for you to fel good.
Please work on your issues.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You’re feeling sad because your only is leaving, and you don’t have a “backup”, so you’re projecting. I say this kindly.

This.

Nowhere in OPs post did she say she’s resentful because she wishes she had a bigger family, wishes her only had siblings, dreams of a large extended family once she’s old and gray, etc etc. All she mentions is “my only is leaving”.

But your second, fourth, sixth, would also leave.

This may be something to explore with a therapist, before you ruin your marriage over it and end up truly alone.

[Anonymous]

Volunteer in a school you need to let this go.

[Anonymous]

Why not just love your child as much as you can, instead of pining for an imaginary child you dont have? What kind of life are you trying to give the child you DO have when you're living in lalaland instead of reality?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have one child. I would have loved to have 3 but my husband was never ready for another. My one child will be out of the house in a few years. I am so sad and resentful. It is just so much regret for me and I don’t know how to ever move past that. Not sure what I’m looking for but posting but maybe some words of wisdom from others who have dealt with regrets?

So you think having multiple more children and trying to raise them with an unwilling partner is the better option here? Yikes girl.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have one child. I would have loved to have 3 but my husband was never ready for another. My one child will be out of the house in a few years. I am so sad and resentful. It is just so much regret for me and I don’t know how to ever move past that. Not sure what I’m looking for but posting but maybe some words of wisdom from others who have dealt with regrets?

So you think having multiple more children and trying to raise them with an unwilling partner is the better option here? Yikes girl.

She didn't say that, if you're this desperate for a fight maybe head to the politics forum.

[Anonymous]

Plenty of people with many children are sad and resentful. It doesn’t solve the core issue.

[Anonymous]

I have 3 kids (12,15,18) and I'd be so depressed if we only had one. Each one adds so much to our lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids (12,15,18) and I'd be so depressed if we only had one. Each one adds so much to our lives.

But then you don’t return the love to Op. Choose love and being kind to others. How does your response help Op?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids (12,15,18) and I'd be so depressed if we only had one. Each one adds so much to our lives.

This was not helpful or relevant to this thread. OP is struggling and your bragging about your family size is mean.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids (12,15,18) and I'd be so depressed if we only had one. Each one adds so much to our lives.

This was not helpful or relevant to this thread. OP is struggling and your bragging about your family size is mean.

I think the poster meant to validate OP's feelings, but forgot to express sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 3 kids (12,15,18) and I'd be so depressed if we only had one. Each one adds so much to our lives.

Bean soup.

[Anonymous]

Recognize what's bothering you, fix the things you can, and accept the things you can't.

[Anonymous]

Would you and your husband consider the classes to become foster parents? Or what about volunteering or even working with little kids at something like church Sunday school or preschool? There are lots of way to still be involved with children and helping children in your life even if you only had one child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Plenty of people with many children are sad and resentful. It doesn’t solve the core issue.

+1

Also, plenty of people resent a younger sibling and/or the way they were treated because of him/her. You are/were a much better mother to your only than you would’ve been otherwise.