Dating game changer: only date men who chase you

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

Are you 15? You sound like a naive child.

Come back after you have a few decades of marriage under your belt.

[Anonymous]

Do it. That way the men who want to play head games and the women who want to play head games can find each other and have unhealthy relationships.

Stay away from those of us who don't want to chase or be chased or play stupid games.

[Anonymous]

Op here, I used to chase unavailable men and tried to convince them to pick me and choose me.

Now I’m only given attention and assessing men who are clearly interested and pursuing me! I have two men on rotation that are taking me out. A third one asked me out next weekend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

Are you 15? You sound like a naive child.

Come back after you have a few decades of marriage under your belt.

If a few decades of marriage haven't taught you that respect, consent, and being up front are important in a relationship, then you probably aren't going to learn it now. It isn't the 1950s anymore. Women can present themselves respectfully and be respected. No need for games and running away / playing hard but wanting him to chase you and come after you even if make it seem like you are trying to get away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

I don’t think “chase” is the best word here.

Obviously if you tell a man no and he still pursues you, that’s not okay. I’ve had a couple guys I went out with once or twice, wasn’t feeling it, ended it, and they kept reaching out for weeks/months until I blocked them. That’s a red flag.

What OP is probably talking about is the huge number of men who will respond to your messages, but never really initiate messages or ask you out. Probably 80% of men on OLD fall in this category. A lot are married or in a LTR, or they just want entertainment, or they want you as a backup, or they’re just not that interested. Those are the men you want to avoid, and rather than continuing to initiate conversations or ask them out, you should just unmatch/move on.

My BF (who I met on a dating app) initiated conversations, asked thoughtful questions, asked me out, and planned a really thoughtful date. You want to focus on those guys who are actually into you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do it. That way the men who want to play head games and the women who want to play head games can find each other and have unhealthy relationships.

Stay away from those of us who don't want to chase or be chased or play stupid games.

Amen

[Anonymous]

That's the only thing that ever worked for me OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

I don’t think “chase” is the best word here.

Obviously if you tell a man no and he still pursues you, that’s not okay. I’ve had a couple guys I went out with once or twice, wasn’t feeling it, ended it, and they kept reaching out for weeks/months until I blocked them. That’s a red flag.

What OP is probably talking about is the huge number of men who will respond to your messages, but never really initiate messages or ask you out. Probably 80% of men on OLD fall in this category. A lot are married or in a LTR, or they just want entertainment, or they want you as a backup, or they’re just not that interested. Those are the men you want to avoid, and rather than continuing to initiate conversations or ask them out, you should just unmatch/move on.

My BF (who I met on a dating app) initiated conversations, asked thoughtful questions, asked me out, and planned a really thoughtful date. You want to focus on those guys who are actually into you.

Seems it is okay for some of the posters on here. They want to play hard to get, say no, and see if he will still come after them. They want to play cat and mouse. Seems that is what gets them going. A guy who won't respect their boundaries because he wants them so badly he is willing to do anything to get to them no matter where they try to run. They want a guy who is a walking red flag because they are walking red flags. Then he turns out to be an @sshole - so shocking.

Initiating conversations or asking thoughtful questions has nothing to do with wanting to be chased. When someone is chasing you - you are running away. I think adults playing games ad running away and wanting to be chased is ridiculous but as long as the men who like to chase and the women who want to be chased find each other - good for them - they can have their toxic relationship, they deserve it. This is why you see women complaining on here about men but then you see posts like this were they are clearly 50% or more responsible for the toxicity and issues because they bring on themselves with nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

Are you 15? You sound like a naive child.

Come back after you have a few decades of marriage under your belt.

If a few decades of marriage haven't taught you that respect, consent, and being up front are important in a relationship, then you probably aren't going to learn it now. It isn't the 1950s anymore. Women can present themselves respectfully and be respected. No need for games and running away / playing hard but wanting him to chase you and come after you even if make it seem like you are trying to get away.

You sound mentally unwell.

OP said nothing about lack of respect, consent, or not being up front.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the majority of women, this approach is best.

If you want a bad boyfriend who doesn't care about consent so when you try and get away, he comes after you because it is oh so fun to be chased. TO have someone who won't respect you and comes after you no matter what.

Then you will be on here complaining about oh he turned out to be a stalker. So surprising.

I don’t think “chase” is the best word here.

Obviously if you tell a man no and he still pursues you, that’s not okay. I’ve had a couple guys I went out with once or twice, wasn’t feeling it, ended it, and they kept reaching out for weeks/months until I blocked them. That’s a red flag.

What OP is probably talking about is the huge number of men who will respond to your messages, but never really initiate messages or ask you out. Probably 80% of men on OLD fall in this category. A lot are married or in a LTR, or they just want entertainment, or they want you as a backup, or they’re just not that interested. Those are the men you want to avoid, and rather than continuing to initiate conversations or ask them out, you should just unmatch/move on.

My BF (who I met on a dating app) initiated conversations, asked thoughtful questions, asked me out, and planned a really thoughtful date. You want to focus on those guys who are actually into you.

This and I think OP is misuse the word Chase here. At her age, noone should be chasing anyone. Pursue if there is an interest or good luck to them.

[Anonymous]

You don’t want to be chased. Could be a narcissist who starts out with love bombing. Or someone really desperate with problems.

[Anonymous]

I love a competent man who initiates. Super sexy.

[Anonymous]

Obviously

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am not prey. I don't need someone chasing me. I don't play games. Clearly you haven't learned much from a failed marriage given you are starting out in a very unhealthy way.

I don't think OP is talking about playing games. She talks about displaying an interest, being proactive, pursuing the woman, impressing her. I don't think it is unhealthy relationship.

What happens when he catches you? I can’t help but notice the posters who say they want the man to pursue them and then complain that their husband doesn’t do all things he did when he was chasing. Of course, both of you made it a game. And he caught the mouse. Game over.