What would you make of this?

[Anonymous]

Agree that hunting down the tickets would have been one option, but since you planned the other dates, I can understand why you didn’t want to take the lead on the next one.

Still, I think you dropped the ball when you suggested “one of our places” and did not follow up with anything more concrete.
1- inviting yourself over
2- before you have invited her to your place
3- maybe she has a roommate?
4- would you expect her to cook for you?

Why not offer to grab take out on Saturday night and suggest a specific movie to watch. Then, “Your place or mine?”

[Anonymous]

Women like concrete plans, especially if you haven’t seen each other in awhile. Hanging out isn’t really fun past the age of 22, and six weeks is still early to fall into the hanging out routine.

If you wanted a night in, you could have easily texted “let’s hang out Saturday night, I’ll bring takeout and we can watch that movie you said you wanted to see”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree that hunting down the tickets would have been one option, but since you planned the other dates, I can understand why you didn’t want to take the lead on the next one.

Still, I think you dropped the ball when you suggested “one of our places” and did not follow up with anything more concrete.
1- inviting yourself over
2- before you have invited her to your place
3- maybe she has a roommate?
4- would you expect her to cook for you?

Why not offer to grab take out on Saturday night and suggest a specific movie to watch. Then, “Your place or mine?”

OP here. When I originally suggested staying in, I asked is she’d like to do her place or mine. She said she didn’t know. So I offered to come to her place, because she did a lot of driving with her friends the day before. I was going to surprise her and bring a dish I cooked that she said is one of her favorites.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Agree that hunting down the tickets would have been one option, but since you planned the other dates, I can understand why you didn’t want to take the lead on the next one.

Still, I think you dropped the ball when you suggested “one of our places” and did not follow up with anything more concrete.
1- inviting yourself over
2- before you have invited her to your place
3- maybe she has a roommate?
4- would you expect her to cook for you?

Why not offer to grab take out on Saturday night and suggest a specific movie to watch. Then, “Your place or mine?”

OP here. When I originally suggested staying in, I asked is she’d like to do her place or mine. She said she didn’t know. So I offered to come to her place, because she did a lot of driving with her friends the day before. I was going to surprise her and bring a dish I cooked that she said is one of her favorites.

So, she’s the type of woman who wants a man to take charge. You need to figure out if 1. That’s the kind of woman you want and 2. If you can be that kind of man.

If she was tired from driving with her friends, take charge and say “I’ll come over there and I’m bringing that dish you said you liked. Does 6 o clock work?”

If you can’t be that, save both of you the trouble and end it now.

[Anonymous]

Move on.

[Anonymous]

I have a hunch she wasn’t ready for a date at one of your places, because she’s not wanting to move forward physically/se*ually just yet. Could be a chemistry thing, or she just wants to take things slow. I know you said you’re not expecting se*, but she doesn’t know that.

That being said, it sounds like she was a poor communicator (saying “I don’t know” in response to your question when she could’ve suggested a restaurant or activity). And you didn’t really pick up on her ambivalence.

You said you don’t want to always be the one planning the dates, and it sounds like she’s passive in that regard. You can try planning another date and see how it goes (or ask her to pick an activity or location), or you could call it a day.

[Anonymous]

Oh, and the “guy friends” thing is weird - telling you she was with them all weekend when you were trying to plan a date that did t materialize. That’s a bit odd.

Maybe move on.

[Anonymous]

*^^didn’t materialize

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The tickets being sold out was your hint to figure out how to track them down. The mentioning of guy friends is a "see I have other options" " see you have to work harder to get me". No thanks.

This. Maybe not track them down, but come up with a similar alternative.
The guy friends is definitely about showing you that she has other options when you didn’t make plans.

You can step up your game or you can find someone else, but I don’t think she’s up for weekends with no plans other than hanging out.

[Anonymous]

Whore and playing with you. She wanted for you to pay for her fun....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Women like concrete plans, especially if you haven’t seen each other in awhile. Hanging out isn’t really fun past the age of 22, and six weeks is still early to fall into the hanging out routine.

If you wanted a night in, you could have easily texted “let’s hang out Saturday night, I’ll bring takeout and we can watch that movie you said you wanted to see”.

This.

[Anonymous]

Honestly, you come off as boring and cheap.
I would have asked her for specific date and time while both still away, and something nice like dinner out or theater. You are dating, make an effort.

[Anonymous]

^adding that if you haven’t had the commitment talk, she can date whomever and it’s your own fault for not stating expectations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been dating a woman for 6 weeks. We both were out of town for the holidays so meetups have been a little sparse. Our dates have gone well so far.

She mentioned she’d like to see each other this weekend and I said I’d like that and that I didn’t have any plans so my calendar was wide open for whenever she’d like to get together. She said there was an activity she wanted to do together but their tickets were sold out. It said no need to do anything extravagant, I’d like to just spend time together. We could go to one of our places (we haven’t done this before).

She never made any concrete plans with me for the weekend, but told me about how she was with her guy friends all weekend including one who came over her place.

I was kinda put off by this. I’m dating for something serious and have been upfront about that. I get everyone has a life, but I feel like it’s a little bit of a flag that she didn’t fit me in at all. What do you think?

I think you sound lazy af, and a bit paranoid. She didn't make plans for you so you sat at home and pouted, and then got petty about the fact that she has male friends who actually came over? You sound like a bullet to be dodged.

If you want to make plans, make the plans. Halfheartedly suggesting hanging out at your place or hers is lazy af. You can suggest it, but if she doesn't take you up on it, pivot, bro. And stop being ugly about the fact that she has male friends. Only weakass immature men get petty jealous about a woman having male friends. Sounds like you have control issues. The red flag here is yours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly, you come off as boring and cheap.
I would have asked her for specific date and time while both still away, and something nice like dinner out or theater. You are dating, make an effort.

This.