Dating chance at 42F and overweight

[Anonymous]

So why can't you lose 30 pounds? If you are wondering about your dating choices and losing 30 pounds will increase them, why not? You dont have little children you are looking after. What is stopping you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 5'3" tall and do have a pretty face but most of my fat is in mid-section area and on thighs. I know it is quite overweight and my weight has fluctuated between 180-205 lbs. I am also trying ozempic and financially could take care of myself but probably won't be able to do 50-50 if we go on a lot of dates.

There were a few issues in our relationship but the most important is the behavior and sex. I have low sex drive because of medical issues or weight and he didn't feel appreciated and I didn't for other reasons when he gets resentful.

If you suspect your low self drive is due to weight, wouldn't you want to address that before you start dating? If you meet a man who matches your low self drive now, wouldn't you be miserable when you have addressed your weight issue and your sex drive becomes higher than his?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So why can't you lose 30 pounds? If you are wondering about your dating choices and losing 30 pounds will increase them, why not? You dont have little children you are looking after. What is stopping you?

Yeah this is what I don't get and I think a single mom in her 40s would be fine in the DC dating market. If you're worried about the impact 30 pounds will have, just lose the 30 pounds? You already have kids so it's not like you need to hurry up and find someone to have them with. Plus ozempic does wonders.

[Anonymous]

There is a saying in the West Indies: every bread has its cheese, no matter how stale the bread or moldy the cheese

OR

Every pot has its lid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a saying in the West Indies: every bread has its cheese, no matter how stale the bread or moldy the cheese

OR

Every pot has its lid.

Ha! This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a saying in the West Indies: every bread has its cheese, no matter how stale the bread or moldy the cheese

OR

Every pot has its lid.

Yeah, but the 185-lb pot might not like the kinds of lids that like it.

[Anonymous]

It depends on what sort of relationship you're looking for. Finding men who are emotionally and financially stable and truly available for a LTR is hard for everyone. It's easy to get men to go out on a date with you if you are not choosy and if you have a half way decent body and face. And it's even easier to have hook ups.

No matter what, you need to be visually appealing if you're going to do the apps, and the apps are generally the best way for busy working parents to find someone.

For LTRs, the fact that your kids are grown adults will be a plus. That should send the message to men that you aren't looking to have another baby with them and that they won't be expected to help carry the parenting burden.

As a PP said, it matters where you are carrying the weight. I am the same height and weighed 185 at my heaviest. But I retained an hourglass shape even with all that extra weight, which helped a lot. Some people gain weight and it all goes to the abdomen and makes you look like a big block and really ages you. No matter what, I'd focus on your Ozempic weight loss and toning your body for at least 6 months so that you can look your best when you take pictures for the apps.

I also think you need to address your low libido before starting a new relationship. Having low libido would really obscure what you're feeling for a man, and I imagine it would really confuse him or be a turn off. Hopefully, the weight loss will fix most of this. But I'd see a doc about menopause ASAP.

[Anonymous]

I think it's fine to go on apps now, but it sounds like some of the challenges you had in your previous relationship could follow you into the next if your low libido is related to weight. I would start exercising, eating healthy whole foods, etc. so that way your health improves, but you can still try to date at the same time so that you are not worrying that time is passing.

[Anonymous]

Are your grown kids financially independent and out of the house? If so, that probably gives you a lot more freedom to date.

Most 42 year olds in this area still have young kids, like elementary school age.

[Anonymous]

Op, you are so young! Keep working at it and do dating apps.

[Anonymous]

You can definitely meet someone. Know you have value and do not settle for the first guy that becomes available. I was a single mom at 43, 5’4, 173 when I met my current DH. He’s wonderful.

[Anonymous]

I'm not going to sugarcoat it. Online dating is a struggle when you're an overweight woman. I was about the same size and age as you when I tried a few years ago. It was incredibly discouraging. That being said, I think online dating is rough for everyone. Focus on improving yourself in all aspects and go from there.

[Anonymous]

What are your prospects? Dress up one night and head over to National Harbor. You’d be surprised at how much attention you will receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op here. I am 5'3" tall and do have a pretty face but most of my fat is in mid-section area and on thighs. I know it is quite overweight and my weight has fluctuated between 180-205 lbs. I am also trying ozempic and financially could take care of myself but probably won't be able to do 50-50 if we go on a lot of dates.

There were a few issues in our relationship but the most important is the behavior and sex. I have low sex drive because of medical issues or weight and he didn't feel appreciated and I didn't for other reasons when he gets resentful.

If you suspect your low self drive is due to weight, wouldn't you want to address that before you start dating? If you meet a man who matches your low self drive now, wouldn't you be miserable when you have addressed your weight issue and your sex drive becomes higher than his?

Do you think OP cares? If she had the drive to lose 30-40 lbs then don't you think she would have done that in her last relationship? There is a reason her last relationship collapsed and her not taking of herself for whatever reason whether it is weight, behavior, finances etc is the main reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a saying in the West Indies: every bread has its cheese, no matter how stale the bread or moldy the cheese

OR

Every pot has its lid.

In my village they said, Don't smoke pot if you flipped your lid.