Hosting sleepover - how to manage bed wetting friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

Why is this? Seems like something's wrong here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I wet the bed for a long time when I was a kid, they didn’t have night time pull ups back then, but I remember being so embarrassed and wasn’t allowed to go to sleepovers for a long time.

I think it’s great you’re hosting this friend, and that you and the mom are close enough that she told you! I would separate the girls when it’s time to change into PJs, maybe send the friend to the bathroom or a guest room and casually mention the girls should put on fresh underwear if they want. I assume there’s a trash can in the bathroom, maybe put some extra trash bags under the sink and point it out to her. You should stay up until the girls are asleep, so if your daughter is asleep but her friend is still awake for a little while after, you can quietly ask her if she needs anything and see if she remembered her nighttime underwear.

I would not do this.

[Anonymous]

Just let the kid get changed in the bathroom. She'll put the pullup on under her sleep clothes. In the morning she will go back to the bathroom and put the pullup in a trash bag and put her day clothes on.

All you have to do is make sure she has privacy to get changed. Its not a big deal besides that.

My 9 year old son still wets and does this for sleepovers or sleep away camp, without issue.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the others above. I would avoid hosting if an older child was still prone to bed wetting. Years ago, when my youngest was in preschool, a classmate soiled his pants at our house during a playdate. It dripped everywhere. I still have trauma from dealing with it. My own child wet the bed a few times before starting elementary school. I wouldn't have let my kid go to another person's house if that were still the case. Bed wetting is something that most kids will outgrow, but I wouldn't have accepted as the parent of the bedwetter (as in tell the kids it was a go) w/o clearing it first with the host.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I agree with the others above. I would avoid hosting if an older child was still prone to bed wetting. Years ago, when my youngest was in preschool, a classmate soiled his pants at our house during a playdate. It dripped everywhere. I still have trauma from dealing with it. My own child wet the bed a few times before starting elementary school. I wouldn't have let my kid go to another person's house if that were still the case. Bed wetting is something that most kids will outgrow, but I wouldn't have accepted as the parent of the bedwetter (as in tell the kids it was a go) w/o clearing it first with the host.

My daughter was a bedwetter, and she will always put on the pull-up before bed. in a sleepover she will make sure she has them on before she doesn't want her friends to find out. I don't think is any issues it happens a lot.

[Anonymous]

We do not do sleepovers at 8 years old, so this wouldn't be an issue.

However, if you must do it, and you probably must because you already committed, discreetly send your guest into the bathroom to put on her jammies alone. She'll probably put on her pull-up then; if not, discreetly remind her to put it on. You already have her mom's consent.

[Anonymous]

My kid wet the bed until 8 but did sleepovers.
I would ask the mom if there was a trash can in the bathroom the kids use and it was always yes. So I told DD to put pull up on when changing into Jammie’s ( they should be changing separately anyway and in a room by themselves) and then to throw it in trash can in the morning.
Never been an issue.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We are hosting our first sleepover for DD8 with her best friend coming over. I got a call from best friend's mom saying that her daughter wets the bed, and she will be fine if she wears something at night. She will send a couple of night pull ups, but wanted to let me know as her daughter might be too embarrassed to put them on and then feel worse by either trying to stay awake all night or actually wetting her pyjamas.

How do I manage it, I am not going to tell my DD but I guess are they obvious, is there some things I should do to make her feel better or comfortable? Do I talk to her to make sure she's not going to try and stay awake, or would that make her upset? DD was dry before 3, so I've not had to manage this for a long time?

This is her first sleepover either at her own house or someone else's and I have a really good relationship with her, she's so friendly and polite. I don't want her to be in tears and not wanting more sleepovers as I assume there's nothing she can do about it.

When she arrives, just make sure she has everything she needs for the night, like her pull-ups and pajamas. After she gets changed, there’s no need to check her bag — you can simply ask if she was able to get ready and if she needs anything else. If she forgets, just give her a quiet, gentle reminder before bed. That was usually enough at sleepovers with my daughter.

If she’s wearing a regular-fit T-shirt, the pull-up might be a little noticeable or make a bit of rustling when she walks, and that’s completely normal. Just be mindful not to draw attention to it. The most important thing is helping her feel comfortable, supported, and not self-conscious. If she seems unsure, you can reassure her that everything is okay and she’s in a safe, understanding place.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid wet the bed until 8 but did sleepovers.
I would ask the mom if there was a trash can in the bathroom the kids use and it was always yes. So I told DD to put pull up on when changing into Jammie’s ( they should be changing separately anyway and in a room by themselves) and then to throw it in trash can in the morning.
Never been an issue.

My nephew wet the bed until the end of puberty, so like age 17. Medication helped, but they felt it interfered with their sports training. There was nothing wrong with them outside of this issue. They went on to play a D1 sport at an Ivy and now work at a FAANG and have friends and a significant other. It's a medical issue, and shaming kids who have it is not an acceptable response.

Their parents didn't do sleepovers until ~10ish, and they sent them with a pull-up and a trash bag to put it in, which they put back in their backpack and then threw out at home after the sleepover.

[Anonymous]

Eh, not really a big deal. My son work pull-ups at night for multiple scout outings, and a number of sleepovers.

At first we would just put a few goodnites in his sleeping bag, and he'd slip one on while still under cover.

Later on, especially with sleepovers (he only really does sleepovers with one other boy, his best friend) - he doesn't even bother hiding anything at all anymore. The friend is well aware, and has never cared whatsoever. DS just wears loose basketball shorts over it when he's over there, but otherwise doesn't bother hiding anything.

Maybe the friends kid could pick her up before the kids actually fall asleep for the night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

Why is this? Seems like something's wrong here.

Because goodnites and similar products weren't widely available until the late 90s or early 2000s, Bedwetting has always been a common thing but there was so much stigma to it that no one talked about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

Why is this? Seems like something's wrong here.

Because goodnites and similar products weren't widely available until the late 90s or early 2000s, Bedwetting has always been a common thing but there was so much stigma to it that no one talk6ed about it.

+100 my mom said she wet until puberty and was severely shamed and punished. I have an 8 year old who still wets and my mom cries when Ive told her about it because she still feels the shame her parents gave her. Thank goodness more kids wear pull ups and it's not an issue.

Doctor says he's totally normal. I also have a child who stopped at age 3, I've done nothing different with either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

Yea that’s a problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So many kids wear nighttime pull-ups these days it doesn’t have the social stigma it used to. Just try not to call it a diaper and they will be fine. I have babysat for boys had them up until the fifth grade and it’s not that uncommon.

Why is this? Seems like something's wrong here.

There is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can’t believe the mother is putting this on you. Her child is not ready for a sleepover. These kids need to be able to handle their pull-up.

+1000